Struggling to Breathe

Gold

Gran had a stew at home waiting for us. Iris and I picked at our food, as we always did. I found it hard to eat all the time, Iris had only lately been finding it hard to eat. I never asked why, I just assumed she felt like I did. I mean, she did hang out with me at lot. I must've had some kind of effect on her.

"Okay, here," Gran said once I put away my half full plate. She put a wrapped present on the table in front of me.

"Oh, Gran, you shouldn't have," I said worriedly, glancing at her. "All the money is supposed to be going towards Fern."

Gran sighed. "Boy, for once could you be glad you got something and appreciate what you have, instead of being a half glass empty young man. You're far too young to be this negative," she told me off sternly.

I sighed. The paper wasn't expensive stuff, but I still unwrapped it carefully. Iris watched on, smiling eagerly.

It was a small wooden box. The craftsmanship was recognisable...

It was made by my father.

"W-wait," I stuttered. "Dad's dead. Dad hadn't worked on a wood project in months before he died, where did this come from?"

"He made it when you were a baby," Gran explained, smiling slightly.

Grandad, my father's dad, used to be a carpenter. He made the most beautiful pieces of wooden works, from furniture to wooden statues. My father had his talent, if not more talented, but he hated my grandfather. He had abused my dad, so dad chose to be a paramedic, and as fate had it, was the paramedic to be called to my grandfather's death.

I blinked and traced my fingers along the smooth wood of the box. It had flame like designs on it, and one flame licked across the top, forming the silhouette of a wolf.

My favourite animal.

I opened the box to find a letter in it, along with other bits and bobs. It had a deep green silk on the interior, with gold designed stitches weaving through it. I closed it and decided I'd deal with the box later, not wanting to open it in front of others.

"Iris," I said. She looked at me, in the act of making me a black coffee. "How about you and I go to town tomorrow, grab some coffee in town? We could meet up with Kobi and Mossy."

Iris smiled. "So this is how you get rid of me, huh?" She laughed. "Of course, yeah, I have to babysit Oisin tonight anyways."

She put away the coffee things and gathered up her stuff, ready to go. I walked her to the door, leaving the box on my bed as we walked by my room.

Once we reached the door, Iris looked up at me and smiled. She hugged me, and I gently hugged her back, anxious to get to the box.

"I'll be here at half ten, and I'll text Mossy. I'll see you tomorrow," she said as she kissed my cheek.

I nodded and smiled. "Okay, bye," I replied.

Iris hesitated and sighed. "I... I think I lo-"

I closed the door on her face, acting like I hadn't heard anything. She stood there for a moment, then turned and walked away.

I kept hurting her, in more ways than I'd ever know.

I turned on my heel and walked to my room, running a hand through my hair nervously. I shut the door and sat down on my bed, putting the small box on my knee.

I began to open it when I heard a knock on my window. I looked up and expected to see Iris, but instead saw a hag.

Fucking Meena.

I stood up and walked over to the window, opening it slightly, enough that I could talk to her, but that she couldn't decide to squeeze through and strangle me to death.

"What's wrong Meena," I asked bluntly.

She looked at me bashfully, her hands behind her back. She was wearing an illuminous pink crop top, with a black leather jacket over it, and a black skater skirt. I could guess she was wearing thick, high heeled, black ankle boots, from the height she was to my window.

"Come out for two minutes," she begged, looking me right in the eyes. I sighed and climbed through the window. I had nothing better to be doing, and the box could wait.

"What do you want?" I asked, showing no emotion towards her.

She pulled out her hands from behind her to show me two bottles of beer. "Just one drink, that's all I ask," she whispered.

Ten minutes later, I was sitting against a tree beside her, with cold beer hitting the back of my throat. Yeah, I'd never drank before, and I probably should have kept my word with my dad.

But he was dead, and I didn't give a shit.

"I just thought you liked me back," she explained as she watched me drink.

"I didn't think you could like me, I mean, you called me your brother like forty times."

She chuckled and sighed. "I know, I thought you wanted to be in the friend zone."

"Believe me Meena, no boy wants to be in the friend zone, it's a matter of having to be there."

She smiled at me and sighed. "That Iris one," she said, the tone of her voice dropping.

I looked at her. "What about her?" I asked, my voice hard.

"Is she right for you?" She asked. I thought about it briefly, and Meena went on. "I mean, Sebby, you're a little broken for her, don't you think? You need someone stronger than you, someone who understands you and who knows your problems. Imagine if she found out about your anger issues?"

I looked at Meena sharply. "What?" I snapped. "How do you know about that?"

"I didn't," she murmured. "But you sorta just proved to me you do."

I rubbed my face and began to stand up. "Meena, look, you're nice and all, but I'm with Iris."

Meena looked at me. "And I can make her go away so easily, she won't even think about you."

My eyes narrowed. "What if I don't want you? Maybe, just maybe, I only want her, no one else."

Meena leaned forward and kissed me. She grabbed my shirt and pulled me close against her, which was nothing like Iris. Iris was almost afraid to be touched by me, in any way, but Meena literally pulled me into her embrace.

Damn, she was a good kisser. I forgot everything else, and sank into the kiss.

"Sebby!?" Iris cried from behind me.

I pushed Meena off me and almost cried out in frustration.

Always. Me.