Struggling to Breathe

Ruby

We both sat in the meadow, in silence. Iris was writing into the book, and I was lying back, looking up at the clouds that slowly floated by.

"Why did you want me to come here?" I asked. She didn't answer, and just kept writing. I sighed and glanced at her.

"Iris?" I asked. She held up her hand. I smiled slightly and looked back up at the clouds. She finally closed the note book and exhaled slowly.

"Yes?" Iris sighed.

"Why did you want me here?" I repeated. She rubbed her eyes.

"I wanted to talk to you, Sebs." I sat up beside her, where she had her legs folded below her. I propped myself up on my hands and looked at her.

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked after a few silent moments.

"I... I want to tell you something," Iris said, continuing to be vague. I sighed and turned towards her.

"Tell me?" I asked her. She looked towards me. A piece of red hair flew up and began dancing in the gentle breeze. I snatched it from the air and gently brushed it behind her ear, by instinct.

She smiled and looked down at her hands. "I wanted to explain to you about me, who I am. But I wanted us to start again, for that."

I looked off, confused. "Huh?"

She smiled and stuck out her hand. "Hi, I'm Iris Willow. What's your name?" She asked, grinning knowingly.

I smirked. "Hey, Iris," I greeted, accepting her hand shake. "I'm Sebastian Nolan, and I'm a fool."

She laughed. "Okay, good start... Well, now that you're a stranger, it'll be easier to tell you about my past, because I'll never see you after this, right?"

I smiled and went along with it. "Right, never again will you see this face." I winked at her.

Iris smiled slightly and looked at her hands again, ready to speak. "Okay, where do I start... Well, I'm Iris. I, well, I have loads of issues to start with. I have a bad phobia of Thunder, I'm claustrophobic... I hate the colour orange," she added, lifting her nose. I chuckled. She smiled and went on.

"I was bullied, up until I was about 13. Mam pulled me out of school, and... yeah. I tried to commit suicide when I was 14... that, ehm, didn't go down well." She picked at her nails. "I lost a lot of people over it. Everyone, really.

"I haven't had any friends for about 2 years now, and anyone I try to befriend ends up ditching me. I hate me, well, I did... I, well, I recieve a therapeutic care now. I've been doing good lately... but... but I'm a little messed up..." She murmured, covering her face.

I put my hand on her shoulder. "Hey," I whispered. "My turn."

Iris leaned up and looked at me, happy she didn't have to say any more. Suddenly the pressure built on my stomach.

"I'm, ehm, Sebastian. I used to be pretty normal, nothing bad had ever really happened to me... I mean, I was beaten up once, by... em, by my adopted brother. He was drunk and he hit my sister and then hit me... and I found Mossy and Kobi and stuff, and they took me under their wings. They made me a better person almost. When dad died... uh, well, things have been bad ever since... I'm still worried about Fern... I pray every night for her, even though it's probably pointless, but I mean... I.... I gotta try..." I trailed off.

"I... my best friend is Iris," I said suddenly. Iris looked up at me, smiling.

"My best friend is Sebby," she whispered. I looked at her and smiled.

"Iris?"

"Yeah?"

"I... I'm really happy... that you're my best friend," I back tracked, making myself sound soft.

Iris hugged me tightly, resting her head on the crook of my neck. I slid my hands around her slowly, embracing every part of her, loving the moment.

"Sebastian?" She murmured.

"Yes?" I replied.

"I've done something... that you mightn't like."

She leant back and looked at me. I began to worry.

Did she hurt herself again? What if she's hurting herself? Or planning something?

"What did you do?" I asked nervously.

Iris looked into my eyes and looked away. She turned and grabbed her bag, digging out a black book. She passed it to me.

"Read the last few pages," she ordered.

I flipped the pages to the back, and found where it began.

Sebastian

I met some lad called Sebastian today. He was pretty tall, about 5"11, taller than me anyways. He had really... really blue eyes, and dark hair. He made me laugh, oh, he likes video games! Score! That's all I'll say about him for now.

I met Sebs again today. It's been a while. His dad died. And his sister is in a coma. I like him I think. He's good friend material...

Met him in the graveyard last night, he wasn't doing good at all. He seemed deranged and stuff, so I brought him back to mine. Guess where he is? IN MY BED! Yes! I even slept in the same bed as him last night! O_O should I be ashamed? Nah! No one to be guilty to anyways... I'm gonna ask him to move to his gran's... Don't ask why, spontaneous decisions are the best decisions!

I met up with him today, and we're writing that book I wanted to do! I can't wait, we're going to be famous together! *p.s, he's got really, really nice eyes.

We've met up almost every day to write the book. He's so funny, I love hanging out with him. I think he's unofficially my best friend, but I won't say that to him. Better to keep him in the dark... hehe.

We went to the carnival. Such a disappointment...

He hit me... But I deserved it... no one wants me near him, but I miss him. I can't be mad at him. I miss him.

I talked to him. I asked him to meet up with me tomorrow... I... I think I'm in love with this fool.

And I'm not even sure what love is...

I looked up. "Is... is this... is..." I began.

Iris looked up at me. "I'm so sorry... I just, I feel so strongly towards you, and, and I don't know how else to describe it, and you mightn't feel the same, but I-"

I leant forward and kissed her. She stayed quiet and fell into the kiss, gently. I reached up and put my hands on her neck. She dove her petite fingers into my hair.

We broke away and I looked off, instinctively. "I think... I think I love you too... but love sounds so wrong," I murmured.

"Yeah..." She agreed. "How about we call it... L-word? See that way, we're not claiming it's love, but it's nearly there, and we can finish it when we're ready."

I laughed. "I 'L-word' you."

She smiled. "I 'L-word' you too."