MY BEST ADDICTION

Chapter 38

Life continued with the finals approaching at an alarming speed leaving everyone stressed. I barely had time to think about the dilemma I had found myself in. Seth and I had not contacted each other since the day I informed him of my situation and even though it hurt to the point of considering another option forward I held on and refrained from telling Ezra the truth. I lied and told her he was in favor of the child and was even contemplating on when to inform his family.

The phone's shrill ring pierced my study session. I glanced at the caller ID: Baron Donovan. A smile crept across my lips as I picked up.
"Penny, my dear," Baron's smooth voice greeted me. "How are you? How's school going?"
"I'm doing well, Baron. School's a bit hectic, as always, but I'm managing. How are you?" I replied, my tone warm and friendly.
"I'm doing well, thank you. Just the usual hustle and bustle." Baron chuckled. "So, tell me, what's new with you? Any exciting projects or papers?"
"Not really. Just the usual grind. Trying to balance studies and work." I replied.
"Well, keep your head down and keep pushing. You'll get through it." Baron encouraged.
After a brief pause, Baron changed the subject. "Actually, I called to talk about Seth. I heard a rumor that his latest project is facing some major challenges."
A wave of concern washed over me. I hadn't spoken to Seth since our disagreement, but I couldn't shake the feeling of worry for him.
"I see. Is everything alright?" I asked cautiously.
"Well, it's complicated. There's a lot of pressure, a lot of expectations. And Seth, being Seth, he tends to bottle things up."
Baron paused, his voice softening. "I just wanted you to know. He's a good man, despite his flaws. He cares deeply, even if he doesn't always show it."
I listened intently, my heart aching for Seth. I missed him, missed the way he made me feel, and missed the way he looked at me. But I also knew that our relationship had been tumultuous, and that I needed to focus on my own life.
"Thank you for telling me, Baron. I appreciate it," I said, my voice filled with gratitude.
"No problem, Penny. Just keep an eye on him, if you get the chance. He could use a friend."
The call ended, and I was left with a heavy heart. I knew I couldn't fix Seth's problems, but I hoped that he would find a way to cope with the stress and pressure he was facing. As I returned to my studies, I couldn't help but wonder if I would ever see him again.
The sleek, modern building of S&S loomed large before me. A pang of nostalgia shot through me as I stepped into the familiar lobby. I remembered the days when I was a regular here, the days filled with both professional challenges and personal turmoil.
I was here today to see Seth, a decision I'd debated for days. A part of me yearned for closure, a chance to confront the past and move on. The other part, however, was terrified of what I might find. I knew I could ask Marcus or Haven if I wanted to find out about him but I figured they would hide the truth to not distract me from my studies and I doubted that he had told them about my pregnancy which might cause a lot of tension between them.
As I waited in the reception area, my mind wandered. I thought about the last time I'd seen Seth, the bitter argument that had driven us apart. I wondered how he was doing, if he was happy, if he had moved on.
An unfamiliar person approached me, a polite smile on her face.
"Ms. Whyte, Mr. Simmons is currently in a meeting. It might take a while. Would you like to wait here or perhaps in the lounge?", she inquired.
I wondered where Amber was since I hadn’t seen her from the time I entered. I was notified of her leave and sighed in relief. I thought she had left for good.
I thanked her and opted to wait in the lounge. As I settled into a comfortable armchair, I couldn't shake a growing sense of unease. I decided to take a quick walk to clear my head.
The familiar hallway stretched out before me, a quiet expanse of unfamiliar pictures adorning the walls. I paused outside the door of my previous office, a pang of nostalgia shooting through me. As I reached for the handle, a hushed murmur drifted from the adjacent office, Seth’s, halting my movement. I ignored it remembering that he was in a meeting and went straight into my office. Looking around the familiar office I found myself smiling to myself reminiscing about how I spent my tenure in there. I spun around in the chair but stopped when something caught my attention.
The door was ajar and I could see and hear exactly what was happening inside his office. They shared some words between themselves and a soft laughter sounded from the lady causing me to feel uneasy. I felt the urge to know what was going on but I still hesitated. Curiosity got the best of me and I found myself peering through the gap between the door and the frame trying to figure out what the meeting was all about. My breathe caught in my throat as I saw Seth and a woman I didn’t recognize. She was stunning and had a figure that seemed to radiate maturity and confidence. They were sitting close together, their bodies angled towards each other, their voices low creating a harmonious and ambiguous environment around them.
A wave of jealousy and confusion engulfed me. Who was this woman and what was her connection to Seth for them to be this comfortable around each other? As I stayed rooted in my spot, the woman stood and walked over to his side while he stayed focused on his work. She stood behind him and placed her hands on his shoulders. He stilled at the contact for a second before finally relaxing into her touch. It felt too peaceful between them that I felt like I was the only one interrupting their lives. I finally got a proper look at her and realized she was the lady we saw together with Seth during my outing with the girls. I couldn’t bear to witness the scene any longer and contemplated on whether to confront them or not. Just as I was about to open the door and go to them, I remembered the situation between us and found myself comparing it to the scene in front of me. I realized how insignificant I was to him and how childish I was acting as compared to the lady inside his office, which broke me to the core. I finally realized that he was no longer mine. A sob escaped from me subconsciously while I tried to steel myself against barging into his office. The closure I needed was denied me and I hurriedly left the building without looking back.
I sat alone in my apartment, the weight of my decision crushing my spirit. The image of Seth with his ex-girlfriend replayed in my mind, a stark reminder of the shattered dreams and broken promises. I was pregnant, a fact that had upended my life. Now, I was faced with a harrowing choice: to keep the child or to terminate the pregnancy.
If I chose to keep the baby, I knew my life would change dramatically. I would become a single mother, a daunting prospect filled with uncertainty and challenges. I would have to sacrifice my dreams, my career, and my freedom. Yet, I couldn't shake the feeling that this child was a part of me, a tiny piece of my soul. On the other hand, if I chose to terminate the pregnancy, I could continue with my life, pursue my career, and perhaps find love again. I could return to my old life, free from the burdens of motherhood. However, I feared the emotional and psychological toll it would take on me. I worried about the guilt, the regret, and the emptiness that might consume me.
As I pondered my options, a sense of despair washed over me. I felt lost, alone, and terrified. I yearned for guidance, for someone to tell me what to do. But ultimately, I knew that the decision was mine alone to make. I made my decision. I would keep the baby. It was a daunting prospect, but I felt a deep sense of responsibility towards the tiny life growing inside me. I would raise the child, love the child, and give the child every opportunity to thrive.
However, I decided to keep my scuffle with Seth to myself. I didn't want to burden my roommate and best friend with my problems. I knew they would be worried and concerned, and I didn't want to add to their stress. I would face the challenges of single motherhood alone, relying on my own strength and resilience. I would protect my child, shield them from the world's harshness, and provide them with a loving home.
As I adjusted to my new reality, I found solace in the thought of the future. I imagined a life filled with laughter, love, and endless possibilities. I would create a beautiful life for myself and my child, no matter the obstacles.
I stepped out of the campus gates, a weight settling on my shoulders. The exhilaration of finishing my final exams had quickly dissipated, replaced by a heavy sense of loneliness and despair. The thought of the long ride home to Mahone Bay filled me with dread. I knew my mother would be overjoyed to see me, but I dreaded the inevitable conversation about my pregnancy and the heartbreak that followed.
As I waited for my ride, my mind raced. I replayed the events of the past few months, the shock of the unexpected pregnancy, the bitter argument with Seth, and the subsequent silence. I had chosen to distance myself from him, to protect myself and my unborn child. Now, as I faced the future, I felt a mix of fear and hope. When my ride arrived, I climbed into the car, a sigh escaping my lips. I leaned back, closing my eyes, and tried to calm my racing thoughts. I knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, I would face them with courage and strength. I would build a future for myself and my child, a future filled with love and happiness.