MY BEST ADDICTION

Chapter 37

I sat cross-legged on my bed, staring at the tiny test in my hands, my heart racing as the reality of the two pink lines sank in. I had gone over this moment in my head so many times, imagining how I would break the news to Ezra. But now that it was real, the words seemed to stick in my throat. How was I going to tell her?
The front door opened, and I heard Ezra’s familiar footsteps as she returned from a long day of classes. Always full of energy, she tossed her backpack onto her bed and collapsed into her desk chair with a dramatic sigh. “Penny, you would not believe the day I had,” she groaned, rubbing her temples. "Do you ever feel like you’re just drowning in deadlines?"
I watched her, forcing a faint smile, knowing that what I was about to say would completely shift the mood. My chest tightened as I tried to steady my voice. “Ez,” I started softly, "there’s something I need to tell you."
Ezra spun her chair around to face me, her eyebrow arched in concern. “What’s up? You look serious. Are you okay?”
I swallowed hard, gripping the test tighter in my lap. This was it. “I’m pregnant.”
Ezra blinked, her eyes widening as the words hit her. “Wait… what?”
I nodded, feeling my chest tighten even more. “It’s Seth’s baby,” I added, my voice trembling.
A silence fell between us as she tried to process what I had just said. “Seth? Are you serious?” she finally asked, her voice a mixture of shock and concern. “How long have you known?”
“A few days,” I admitted. “I didn’t know how to tell you. I haven’t even told Seth yet. I’m… terrified, Ez.”
Ezra stared at me, her face reflecting the whirlwind of emotions I felt. She got up from her chair and sat next to me on the bed, her expression softening as she looked into my eyes. “Hey, it’s going to be okay,” she said gently, her arm sliding around my shoulders. “I know this is huge, but you’re not doing this alone. I’m here.”
My eyes filled with tears, and I let out a shaky breath. “I don’t know what to do, Ez. This wasn’t part of the plan. We’re still in university. How am I supposed to handle this?”
She pulled me closer, her warmth making me feel just a little safer. “One step at a time, okay? You don’t have to figure everything out right now. But whatever happens, I’ve got your back. You’ve got options, and we’ll figure them out together.”
I nodded, wiping away a tear with the back of my hand. “I don’t even know how Seth will react. I’m scared, Ez. What if he freaks out?”
Ezra gave me a reassuring squeeze. “Whatever he says or does, we’ll deal with it. You’ve always been the strongest person I know, Penny. We’ll handle this, just like we’ve handled everything else.”
Leaning into her shoulder, I felt a surge of gratitude for having her in my life. The uncertainty ahead felt overwhelming, but knowing I wasn’t alone made it a little more bearable. “Thanks, Ez,” I whispered. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Ezra smiled, that comforting smile of hers. “Well, good thing you don’t have to find out. And hey, if all else fails, I’ll help you ace that ‘Parenting 101’ course we’re about to start.”
I couldn’t help but laugh through my tears. Somehow, Ezra always knew how to lighten the mood, even in moments like this. The future was still unclear, but with her beside me, I knew I had someone to lean on as I faced whatever came next.
I sat across from Seth in his sleek office, the walls adorned with framed accolades and awards that showcased his success as CEO of S&S Corporation. My heart raced as I prepared to share the life-changing news. The view of the Toronto skyline through the floor-to-ceiling windows seemed to mock my anxiety, reminding me of how far I had come in this city, and how quickly it could all unravel.
“Penny, is everything okay?” he asked, his brow furrowing as he sensed my unease.
I took a deep breath, gripping the edges of my chair. “Seth, I need to tell you something important.” My voice wavered slightly, but I pressed on. “I’m pregnant.”
For a moment, the silence between us felt like a heavy weight. Seth’s expression shifted from confusion to concern, his jaw tightening as he processed my words. “Pregnant?” he repeated, his tone low and serious.
I nodded, my heart pounding in my chest. “Yes. I found out a few days ago. I didn’t know how to tell you, but I needed you to know.”
He leaned back in his chair, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “Penny, this is... a lot to take in. What are we going to do?”
“I don’t know, but I want to figure it out together,” I replied, hoping for his support.
He shook his head, his eyes filled with uncertainty. He paced in the office as if he didn’t believe what I had just told him.
“This is not possible. You can’t be pregnant, not now”, he mumbled to himself. This wasn’t the first time I had seen him this upset but it was mostly directed at others and not me, so seeing him this way brought a pang to my chest.
“How could this happen? I made sure this wasn’t going to happen. How could this be? What are you going to do now?”, he questioned getting me worked up. I get that he was in disbelief but wasn’t this too much of a reaction?
“Why are you acting like this is just my problem?” I shot back, anger rising. “This is our child, Seth. It’s not just about me anymore. I thought we were a team.” I walked up to him and tried to hold his hand but he flinched away from me.
He crossed his arms, his jaw tightening. “I want to be supportive, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’m ruining your life. You’re about to graduate, and you have so many opportunities ahead of you. I don’t want to be the reason you give all that up.”
“Ruining my life?” I echoed, my voice trembling now. “This is not how I wanted to tell you, but I’m not here to blame you. We’re in this together, and I don’t regret what happened between us. This baby is a part of us.”
Seth looked away, staring at the city skyline through his office window. “But what if this changes everything? You’re about to graduate, and I’m busy with work. I don’t want you to feel like you’re giving up your dreams for me.”
“I’m not giving up on my dreams!” I shot back, frustration bubbling beneath the surface. “I love you, Seth. I want you to be a part of this, but you can’t just push me away because you’re scared of what it means.”
He turned to face me, his expression pained. “I don’t want to push you away, but I can’t shake the feeling that you deserve someone who can give you more time, more stability. It may seem as if I have everything under control now but I’ll be consumed with work for some time to come, and I don’t want to be the reason you end up unhappy”, he explained running a hand through his hair in frustration.
I felt my heart ache at his words. “You’re not just a distraction to me. You’re the person I want to build a life with. I thought we were on the same page about our future, but now it feels like you’re not even considering us.”
Seth sighed heavily, rubbing his temples as if the weight of the world rested on his shoulders. “I just need time to think, Penny. I don’t want to mess this up for you. You have your whole life ahead of you, and I can’t bear the thought of holding you back.”
My heart raced with frustration. “So what, you’re just going to push me away? You’re going to let fear dictate everything? You’re acting like I can’t handle this, but I’m right here, trying to talk to you about it.”
He turned to face me, his eyes dark with emotion. “I’m not pushing you away, Penny. I’m trying to protect you from making a huge mistake. This is going to change everything, and I don’t know if I’m ready for that.”
“Neither am I!” I shouted, tears welling up in my eyes. “But we can’t just pretend it’s not happening. You’re acting like I’m not capable of making my own choices. I love you, and I want to build a life with you, but you’re making it so hard.”
Seth’s expression softened momentarily, but then he hardened again. “You say that now, but when reality hits, you might regret this. You deserve someone who can give you everything, not someone who’s constantly caught up in their past.”
“Stop it!” I cried, my voice breaking. “You’re not a bad person just because you can’t let go of your past. I know I have no idea what you’ve gone through to make you doubt yourself and I’m the last person you want advising you, but I need you to be here for me, not just physically, but emotionally too. This is a big deal for me, and I want you to be a part of it.”
He sighed heavily, rubbing the back of his neck in frustration. “I don’t want to fight with you. I just need time to think.”
“Time to think?” I repeated, incredulous. “We don’t have time, Seth! This is happening now, and we need to figure this out together. But if you keep pushing me away, I don’t know how we’re going to make it.”
Seth looked away, the weight of the moment settling heavily between us. “I just wish I could be the partner you deserve.”
“Maybe you should stop doubting yourself and just be there for me,” I said, my voice trembling with emotion. “I’m scared too, but we can’t let this push us apart.”
He met my gaze, pain etched across his face. “I don’t want to lose you, but I don’t know how to navigate this.”
I felt my heart crack at his words. “Then let’s figure it out together. But if you keep distancing yourself, I don’t know if I can keep doing this.”
The tension in the room hung like a storm cloud, and I realized we were at a crossroads. We could either fight through this together or let fear and doubt drive us apart. I just hoped he would choose the former before it was too late.