MY BEST ADDICTION

Chapter 39

Days changed to weeks and weeks changed to months and before I knew it, I was closer to my due date. Everything seemed the same as every vacation I had with my mom, if not for the constant cravings, nausea and pain I felt every now and then, I wouldn't have even remembered that I had conceived. During my time back home, I helped at a bakery to get myself busy and help mom with the bills. She disapproved when I was starting though but gave up when she realized how much I wanted to do it. I loved working there and the people were kind enough to help whenever I got tired or I felt pains in my body. Mom was a constant help during my term and even worked less days to be by my side during the last trimester of my term. I was as happy as I could be but always found my pillow wet with tears every time I woke up from my sleep. I missed Seth and I missed him more when I went to bed and couldn't feel him beside me. Sometimes I wished to call him but stopped myself when I thought of how he might have moved on from me. I couldn't bring myself to hear him confirm my thoughts of him with another person, and even if he didn't have any one else, I still couldn't call since I lost the right the day he ended things with us. The only comfort I had was knowing that I was carrying our children and that proved that he at least loved me at a point in his life.
"Mom I will be fine, you don't have to worry. I have everything at home and you're just leaving for the night. What could happen?", I tried to reassure mom to leave for the nth time.
She stayed home with me as I was closer to my due date and hardly spent time on herself. I always felt guilty about depraving her of her freedom. So when I found out her sister, my aunt had reached out for a day's out to relax, I tried to convince her to enjoy herself but she was too stubborn.
"What if something happens when I'm not home, I wouldn't be able to help since it's a town away", she tried to dissuade me while I packed some clothes into her bag.
"Mom it's just for the night, you'll be returning tomorrow morning. I have some days more before they come. Everything will be fine, I'm just going to pack some clothes I might need at the hospital and then go to bed after. We're going to be fine. Don't worry, I'll call if anything happens", I managed to convince her but she still looked worried about leaving me alone.
After a while she gave up and got ready to leave. I sighed in relief as I watched her enter the cab and leave. I had finished packing my clothes into my bag when I felt a twinge. It had been subtle so I dismissed it as Braxton Hicks, but then another came, sharper this time, followed by a dull ache in my lower back. I had been waddling around for weeks and the aches and pains were nothing new. Except these felt different.
I glanced at the time and realized it had gotten late at some point. Mom was supposed to be back in the morning but I promised to call if anything happened so I tried to find my phone to call her. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. I had everything under control with the hospital checklist, all that was needed was to wait till the day I was to report at the hospital. Who knew that the children were going to come on the day mom wasn't home with me.
Another contraction seized me, this one making me gasp. I tried to breathe through it, trying to remember what mom had taught me. But the intensity was already ramping up making me scared and worried. I found my phone, my fingers fumbling. Mom's number was the first one I scrolled to trying to comfort myself. I pressed call and it rang for a while and when I thought she had answered, I was directed to her voicemail. I tried again but there was no answer. Realizing that she might be asleep already, I felt my hope dwindling away.
Panic started to bubble in. Tears pricked at my eyes noticing how lonely and alone I was. Another contraction hit, doubling me over. This was it, it was happening and mom wasn't around. My mind raced as to who else I could call, but all the people I could were all far from me. Haven and Ezra my best friend were still in Toronto and couldn't come to me even if I wanted them to, not to talk of how estranged we had become.
Then a name, a number, surfaced from the depths of my memory stubbornly persistent. Seth. I tried to shut the thought down but nothing, I didn't know why but it felt like he was the only person I could rely on that moment. It had been months, months since our breakup, since I last saw him and since I last called him. After months of deliberately not thinking about him, deleting his number and trying to erase him from my life and my future, it seemed I had no other choice now. I had to call him whether I wanted to or not.
Somehow his number was still etched in my brain and I found myself calling a familiar number. Every ring felt like torture to my heart and I heard the carefully constructed wall around my heart crumbling down in anticipation of hearing his voice once again. But the pain made my daydream feel like a fleeting thought. I needed help and I needed it now. The phone rang for a while and when I thought he wasn't going to answer, I heard his voice which made a tear escape from my eyes. I had missed him terribly.
"Hello", he answered hesitantly as if he wasn't expecting the call. I wanted to down in his voice but the pain that came at the moment made me gasp loudly.
"Seth, it's me, Penny", I managed to say despite the pain.
"Penny? Uh hi. How are you?", he answered he sounded more confused after hearing me confirm that I had called him. I could guess his confusion trying to understand why I reached out to him first.
I wanted to respond to his question but groaned when a wave of painted washed over me.
"Help me, Seth", I managed, gritting my teeth. "I...I think they're coming", I lashed out. Silence overtook the confusion on his end.
"What? Are you serious Penny?", he asked and I heard shuffling on his end. It sounded like he was dressing up.
"Yes, I'm serious, and mom is not home". The words came out in a rush ruined with with fear and panic. "I'm scared Seth, I don't know what to do. I know we ended our relationship and I had no right to call you but you were the only person I could think of at the moment", I stuttered my voice vulnerable the whole time.
I heard keys jingling and realized he had left his room.
"Where are you now? Are you still home?", he questioned.
"Yeah, I'm home. The contractions are getting closer", I finished and felt my vision getting blurry.
"It’s okay, Penny. You don't have to worry about anything. I'm coming to you", he assured. It didn't even occur to me to ask how he was going to find me but I felt like he could.
"Hurry Seth, please", I breathed into the phone. Even though I was still scared I felt relieved that he was coming to me.
The phone slipped from my hand despite how much I wanted to hold on to it and hear his gentle and reassuring voice. All I could hear was my own tagged breathing and Seth's distant voice and for the first time that night I found myself smiling despite the pain. He was coming, coming to us.
The buzzing of the intercom jolted me. Another contraction was building, a tight band squeezing around my abdomen.
“Penny? It’s Seth!” His voice crackled through the speaker, sounding closer, real.
Relief washed over me in a dizzying wave, almost as intense as the pain. “Come in. I'm in the last room down the hallway” I managed to gasp out before another wave hit, forcing me to double over again.
A few frantic moments later, the sound of hurried footsteps echoed in the hallway, followed by a frantic knocking on my door. I could barely move, but I croaked out, “It’s open!”
The door burst open, and there he was. Seth. He looked… different. A little older, maybe, a touch more worn around the edges, but still undeniably Seth. His eyes, the same warm eyes I remembered, widened with concern as they took in my state, pale, sweaty, clutching my belly.
“Penny!” He was across the room in an instant, kneeling beside me. “God, you weren’t kidding.”
“Hurts,” I choked out, squeezing his hand instinctively when the contraction peaked. His hand, surprisingly steady, squeezed back. It felt… familiar. Too familiar.
“Okay, okay. Let’s get you to the hospital.” He looked around the small apartment, his gaze landing on the half-packed bag. “Is that everything?”
I nodded weakly. “Yes. Mom…” My voice trailed off, the familiar pang of her absence hitting me again.
Seth didn’t comment, just efficiently grabbed the bag. “Can you stand?”
Another contraction was receding, leaving me shaky but momentarily able to move. “I… I think so.”
He helped me to my feet, his arm a strong support around my waist. Even that small movement sent a jolt of pain through me.
“Easy, easy.” He guided me slowly towards the door. “Do you want to try and walk, or should I…?” He trailed off, a flicker of awkwardness in his eyes.
“I can walk… slowly,” I said, each step feeling like a monumental effort.
The walk to his car felt like an eternity. Each bump in the hallway, each step down the stairs sent sharp jolts through me. Seth was a silent anchor beside me, his presence a strange mix of comfort and a painful reminder of what we no longer had.
Once we were finally in his car, the relative stillness was a small mercy. He’d parked haphazardly, clearly in a rush. He buckled me in gently, his movements surprisingly tender.
“Okay,” he said, his voice a little strained as he started the engine. “Which hospital?”
“City General,” I managed, my breathing still ragged.
The drive was a blur of stop-and-go traffic and the relentless rhythm of my contractions. I squeezed my eyes shut with each surge of pain, focusing on my breathing, trying to block out everything else. But sometimes, through the haze, I’d feel Seth’s worried glances, his hand briefly touching my arm in a gesture of reassurance.
We didn’t talk much. What was there to say? The silence was heavy with the weight of our past and the undeniable reality of the future unfolding. He was here, helping me bring our children into the world, children he hadn’t been a part of planning or anticipating.
Finally, the familiar signs of City General came into view. Relief flooded me, so potent it almost eclipsed the pain.
Seth pulled up to the emergency entrance, ignoring the honking cars behind him. He was out of the car in a flash, opening my door and helping me out.
“Can you make it to the entrance?” he asked, his eyes filled with concern.
Another contraction hit, stealing my ability to speak. I just nodded, leaning heavily on him as we slowly made our way towards the automatic doors.
The moment we stepped inside the brightly lit emergency room, a wave of efficiency washed over us. Seth’s voice, surprisingly assertive, cut through the noise.
“My… uh, this woman is in labor! Her contractions are coming fast.”
A nurse immediately rushed over, her eyes assessing my condition. “How far apart are they?”
“A few minutes, maybe less,” I gasped, another contraction gripping me.
“Okay, honey, let’s get you into a wheelchair.” The nurse’s voice was calm and professional.
Seth helped me into the wheelchair, his hand lingering on my shoulder for a moment. Our eyes met, a silent acknowledgment of the strange, unexpected path that had led us here.
As the nurse started wheeling me towards triage, Seth walked quickly beside us, his brow furrowed with concern.
“I’ll park the car and be right in,” he said.
I managed a weak nod, my focus already shifting to the next wave of pain. He was here. He had answered my desperate call. And in that moment, despite everything that had happened between us, that was all that mattered