MY BEST ADDICTION

Chapter 31

I woke up the next day puzzled to find myself in bed. I noticed Seth’s side of the bed looked neat and felt cold prompting me of his absence. I was seriously getting tired of his actions since it was stressful and tiring. I wanted to talk about what happened but he always shut me off or avoided me which made matters worse than they already were.
“Ugh seriously”, I muttered throwing the pillow to his side wishing I could hit him with it to ease the frustration within me but it did nothing other than to make me more frustrated.
I got ready and met him in the kitchen making breakfast again. I ate my portion not bothering to acknowledge him and left after I was finished with my food. I packed my things into my bag and left to find him still eating.
“I’m leaving”, I alerted him and turned from him to leave only for him to stop me.
“Wait”, he said and pushed the chair back to stand.
“What is it?”, I asked feeling upset about the whole situation.
“Let me see you off”, he said and passed by me to his room.
“Unbelievable”, I grumbled to his retreating figure. 
“Are you still giving me the cold shoulder?”, I questioned when we arrived at the dorm.
“What do you expect me to do? It’s not as if we can change what happened, can we?”, he replied back at me.
“Obviously we can’t and that’s why we have to talk about it and let it go. We are adults and need to act like the adults we are when needed not only when in bed”, I chastised.
“Let it go? Act matured? You think I’m being childish because I’m angry my woman decided to kiss another man in front of me? Do you think you would have done better had you seen me be intimate with another woman? Penelope you have to understand me on this, you were totally wrong and don’t have the right to be upset about how I treated you”, he blurted out rendering me speechless. At the mention of another woman, I was reminded of the cause of the problem. I bit my lip to hold in what I felt.
“I knew I was wrong and that was why I tried to talk to you. I tried to explain and apologize to you but what did you do? You avoided me like a plague and treated me like you wanted nothing more to do with me. I was hurting, I’m still hurting but I guess that’s not important since I was the one in the wrong. You know what, I’m tired of having to wonder if you’re forgiving me or not. That is your decision but I’m tired of having to wait for something that will never happen”, I said as calmly as I could trying to hold everything in. 
“What are you saying?”, he asked almost sounding worried. I scoffed at my thoughts of him being worried and opened the door.
“I think it would be better if we stayed apart for a while. Being together is not good for both of us. I think it would be best if we stayed away from each other since all we do is only hurt each other. Seth, we have to let each other go for a while to get over the pain we both feel now”, I finished and left the car.
“Penny…”, he started to say but I cut him off with the slam of the door before rushing into the dorm to let everything out. I looked through the window to find his car still parked where it was. He waited for a while before driving away from my dorm. Just as he left, I slid down the window and crumbled on the floor in tears. 
“Hey, Bryan where have you been the whole week? You didn’t show up at school and you never answered my calls”, I asked him after our lessons on our way to the library.
“I was a little busy”, he replied smiling at me like he always did but I knew there was something he was hiding from me.
“Is everything alright now?”, I questioned hoping he would tell me what was going on with him but he just smiled and nodded.
“If that’s what you say, but where did you disappear to during the workshop?”, I asked bringing up the topic I knew he was avoiding.
“Oh, something urgent came up so I had to leave”, he said trying to evade the topic.
“Bryan did I do anything to upset you? You sound so distant with me”, I asked stopping in my tracks. He stopped and turned to look at me.
“What do you mean?”, he looked confused and I sighed.
“You’ve never been this polite to me since we became friends and now it’s as if you are putting a distance between us. Did I do anything wrong?”, I queried.
“I’m fine, I just have a lot on my mind at the moment”, he assured and I let it go. We continued our journey to the library in peace.
“Are you with the man from the other day?”, he suddenly asked and I stopped in shock.
“Which man are you referring to?”, I asked confused.
“The man you were with after the workshop”, he stated and I realized who he meant.
“You saw us?”, I inquired and he nodded in response.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier”, I pleaded.
“Don’t worry, I never asked in the first place so it’s on me”, he assured me.
“Is that what you wanted to ask me?”, I asked pretending not to know about it.
“Yes, I’m sorry I got upset when I saw you guys, but I’m okay after thinking it through for some days, all that matters is that you’re happy”, he voiced.
“What am I to do without you?”, I playfully asked hugging him.
“Nothing, you can do nothing without me”, he teased along ruffling my hair finally smiling widely at me.
“Let’s go study before I change my mind”, I said pulling him with me towards the library. We thankfully ended the topic with smiles and laughter.
“See you in class tomorrow”, we bid each other good night after our studies. We turned from each other when my phone buzzed with a message.
“Let’s meet, we need to talk”, it read. I sighed and stopped in my tracks wondering if I should reply the message or not. I decided to ignore the message and turned the phone off continuing my walk to the dorm. I saw the familiar car parked in front of the building and rolled my eyes. He got out of the car trying to hold onto my hand when he realized I was ignoring him.
“Penny please wait, we have to talk”, he pleaded.
“Talk about what? Didn’t you make everything clear the last time we spoke?”, I asked, the happiness from earlier already dissipating.
“Let’s get in the car first, please”, he pleaded sincerely making me concede. 
“Fine, what is it you want now?”, I asked just as the door closed behind me.
“I’m sorry”, he muttered shocking me. I looked at him surprised at what he said.
“What?”
“I know what I did the other day was wrong. I was confused as to what to do about what happened and instead of talking to you, I took out my frustrations on you. I’m sorry”, he apologized leaving me speechless.
“I’m sorry too, I guess both of us got carried away by our emotions”, I said and a giggle left my lips.
“But why didn’t you tell me you still wanted dance?”, he asked and I flinched.
“I…I…”.
“I’m not chastising you or anything, I’m just surprised since you said you weren’t dancing anymore”, he explained. I wondered if it was alright to tell him my reason and decided to let him know since he looked serious and curious about it.
“It’s not as though I wanted to stop dancing in the first place. I doubt it was right for me to dance for others except my partner, and I knew you wouldn’t be comfortable with others leering at me”, I explained and lowered my head.
“Then what prompted you to dance that day?”
I didn’t need a genius to tell me what day he meant.
“Um, I guess I missed it. I just felt an itch to dance when we entered the Nest”, I half-heartedly answered.
“Are you sure?”, he asked and I nodded hoping he would just let the matter rest. I looked away hiding my face from him. I didn’t want him to realize I was hiding something from him. He held my hand bringing my attention back to him.
“You can dance if that’s what you want. I don’t want to be someone who restricts your freedom or desires. You just have to let me know so I’m not always taken aback whenever you decide to dance”, he requested.
“Dancing doesn’t feel the same without your presence so I’m not sure I can do it anymore”.
“Haven is going to kill me when she realizes that I managed to get her best dancer out of business. But to be honest, I like it when you are able to express yourself with dancing since it looks like the most efficient way for you to express yourself. Like I said, just let me know and I’ll support you if that’s what you want”, he added and I felt he was sulking. I wondered if he was insisting on it because he thought he wasn’t going to see me dance ever again. I giggled at the thought and he looked at me weirdly.
“Okay I’ll think about it”, I sighed content with how quickly the matter was resolved.
“Penny can we promise to never hide our feelings or anything from each other, also no more destructive arguments. This situation was tiring enough and I can’t bear to part from you after everything we’ve gone through. Let’s talk through to each other about everything that concerns both of us”, he requested making me smile widely at him.
“Yes and thank you”, I agreed and placed a kiss on his cheek. I unfastened my seat-belt and tried to leave the car but found the door locked.
“Where do you think you’re going after what you just did? I’m not satisfied”, he complained pulling me to him. My eyes widened in surprise at his actions but felt thrilled about his touch after missing it for a while.