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Chapter Thirty-Six: Limbo
Each day blurred into one.
Harper would wake up, feed Boba and make a coffee. She'd shower, the only time she'd allow herself to cry - the tears blending into the water and fading out of existence down the drain. She would sit at her desk, writing article after article that felt less and less like her.
She published none of them.
Garcia called almost every day. For the first two weeks she had ignored them, she didn't want to hear a second-hand story about how Spencer was holding up. This morning marked the third week since Spencer's court hearing, when he had taken her off the visitation list.
An unfamiliar flare of angry jealousy burned in her chest every time she thought of JJ, Garcia and Emily visiting him. They got to see him weekly, even if it was behind a glass screen. My Spencer.
But he wasn't her Spencer anymore, hadn't been for almost a month now, and the sooner she came to terms with that the better.
Today, like every other day, she dodged Garcia's call. But today was different. She wasn't going to sit alone in her apartment all day , consumed by thoughts of Spencer. If he wanted to push her away, if he never wanted to see her again - then she needed to find a way to cope. She needed to move on.
Harper adjusted the red leather strap of her bag as she entered the café, the familiar hum of conversation and the scent of fresh coffee enveloping her. She spotted Nate almost immediately, seated at a corner table with his laptop open and a half-finished latte beside it. He waved when he saw her, that same easy grin on his face that hadn't changed in all the years she'd known him.
She hesitated, her feet rooted to the spot. What was she even doing here? Meeting Nate had seemed like a good idea in the moment, a way to feel like she was moving forward - to convince herself that she could let go of Spencer. But now, with him sitting there so casually, it felt wrong. Like she was betraying someone who wasn't even hers anymore.
With a deep breath, she forced her feet to move, weaving through the tables until she reached him.
"Harper!" Nate stood, pulling her into a quick hug. His cologne, woody and warm, was the same as she remembered. It brought back memories of late-night study sessions and the way he used to sit a little too close when they worked together on assignments.
"Hey," she said, smiling tightly as she slid into the seat across from him.
"You look great," he said, his voice earnest. "I mean, not that you didn't before, but-"
"Thanks," she interrupted with a laugh, shaking her head. "It's been a while."
They fell into easy conversation, talking about their lives since almost a year ago when she'd last seen him. Nate filled her in on his occasional travels and his family's latest antics. Harper listened, nodding in the right places, even laughing at some of his stories. But her mind kept drifting to Spencer, to the weight of his absence, to the ache she couldn't seem to shake no matter how hard she tried.
