My Journey Through Self Love

Chapter 34 - Limiting Belief 22 - I Can't Make Mistakes

Limiting Belief: Constructive criticism is a personal attack and it means there's something wrong with me.

I want to be able to love myself and give myself the benefit of the doubt when I make a mistake. But what if I make mistake and it's inexcusable?

At work and at school, I'm always expected to pour out exceptional work every single time. The minute I make a mistake, it's viewed under a microscope, I get a deduction in my grades, and I can negatively affect my reputation and the reputation of the organization I work for. How other people view me (whether it's my teacher or my boss) is important for my role because that can determine the growth of my business relationships and my ability to graduate. I can't ignore it or dismiss it.

The problem is that, me having to care about how other people view me for this role counteracts my whole notion of not caring what other people think of me. I don't want to care how other people view me. But if I do something that screws up business relationships or my grade, it could negatively affect the organization or my academic standing, and the blame gets put on me. What do I do with that blame? I don't want to be pinned down by people's negative perception of me.

Flipping the Script: I don't have to take constructive criticism PERSONALLY.

Instead of aiming to be perfect (which is impossible), I need to aim for consistently good work with room for growth. I can always strive to give my best, but at the end of the day, I have to allow myself to be human. I'm going to make mistakes, but they don't have to define my value. One mistake isn't going to erase my past achievements or my potential for future success. I can always reframe my mistakes as opportunities for improvement.

When it comes to school or work where my efforts are evaluated, I should focus on how others view my work ethic and problem solving skills, instead of trying to gain universal approval across the board (which is impossible to get). My reputation or my grades aren't just shaped by my mistakes, but how I bounce back. I can always ask myself, "What can I learn from this feedback?" or "What systems or processes can I improve to prevent this in the future?" Even if my reputation or my grades are temporarily damaged, my consistent effort and strong results can repair it.

I CAN'T control how others perceive me for my mistakes but I CAN control my actions and mindset towards them. I need to let my work (and my work ethic) speak for itself. If I do make a mistake, I can allow myself to feel the disappointment, realize that I'm going to be ok, and shift my focus on improvement and moving forward.