Sehnsucht

Capitolo XXVI

Inalalayan nya akong bumaba para mas maisuot saakin yung leather jacket nya. Pinagmamasdan ko lang sya the whole time..kung paano nya inayos saakin ito at kung paano nya alisin yung buhok ko na tumatakip sa muka ko.

Umusog sya palikod kung asan ako kanina sabay tinap nya yung space sa harap nya. Napalunok ako. What does he want me to do? Hindi nga ako nagkamali ng alalayaan nya ko ulit paakyat sa espasyo sa harap nya. We're facing each other now..saglit akong nakipagtitigan sakanya bago minabuting umiwas ng tingin "Kanino tong motor?" tanong ko

Pinasadahan nya muna ito ng tingin bago binalik sakin "Sakin" anya sa isang malalim na boses "E bat ngayon ko lang nakita?" dagdag ko habang ramdam na ramdam parin ang malakas at malamig na hangin "Ayaw ni mama" sagot nya sabay tinuon ang pansin sa suot ko "Bakit ayaw nya?" kahit hindi ko kinakaya ang mga tingin nya nagawa ko parin magtanong ulit

"Itong baby ko naman andami laging tanong" sabi nya habang mahinang tumatawa kaya sinapak ko sya ng pabiro. He grabbed my hands at hinawakan nya ito habang hinahaplos haplos ang mga ito gamit ang hinlalaki nya.

Napalunok ako sa paraan ng pagtitig nya "Bakit ka laging umiiwas when i stare at you?" malumanay na sabi nya habang nasa leeg ko ang isang kamay nya while caressing my cheeks "Uhm" i cleared my throat "because every time you stare at me parang pinapatay mo ko sa mga titig mo and it creeps me out" hindi ko nanaman makilala sarili kong boses

He smirked at mas lumapit pa sakin. I can feel his hot breath brushing through my face,it sent my shivers. Pinagdikit nya ang mga noo namin..i saw him slowly closing his eyes kaya unti unti ko ding ginawa ito not even minding na nasa daan kami and yung stand lang ng motor ang bumabalanse sa amin "Hindi mo ba alam na ayokong magkasama kayo nung gagong yun?" ramdam na ramdam ko every word na sinasabi nya..he's referring to Tyrrell obviously. I just made a sound "You hate me don't you?" dagdag nya

Ang bilis ng pintig ng puso ko "I hate you" i said. I heard him chuckles "I know baby. I hate myself too" bumibilis na rin yung paghinga nya and damn hindi ba nya alam na nababaliw na ko sa kamay nyang dahan dahang hinahaplos ang leeg ko

Konting konti nalang magkakadikit na muka namin and the anticipation is killing me. When he finally closed the gap between our lips..i swear i nearly died of pleasure.

He's kissing me slowly and teasingly. He's torturing me! I made an irritated sound and without me knowing it..i kissed him wilder than he is kissing me "Easy there babe" nagawa nya pang mang asar habang ako dito tinatakasan na ng bait

Tumatama yung lip ring nya sa bawat galaw ng labi nya and it's driving me crazy. We're both gasping for air. He once again rested his head on my neck habang tahimik naming kinakalma ang isa't isa. Pinababa nya ako at halos tumutol ako dahil akala ko aalis na kami pero hindi pa pala. Pinaupo nya parin ako sa harap nya pero this time nakatalikod na ko sakanya

He's hugging me from behind and he rested his head on my neck. I won't ever trade this for anything in this world. Parang nawala lahat ng inis ko sakanya kanina and sa araw araw na binibigyan nya ko ng stress.

We talked about everything.. kung bakit wala sya kanina he told me na pumunta pala syang Ancona for a wedding party,sya daw kinuhang photographer. Bigla akong tumahimik and he noticed it immediately "What is it?" tanong nya. Pinagisipan ko pang mabuti kung sasabihin ko ba to sakanya "I hate it when you go somewhere else na hindi man lang ako tinetext.." tahimik lang syang nakikinig

"I mean..it's not that i'm clingy or what but okay okay i'm clingy and i'm fan of walang katapusang phone calls and i want na atleast man lang sana to text me even once in a while lalo kung may pupuntahan ka" tuloy tuloy kong sabi "I feel like an irresponsible girlfriend.." there i said it finally

"I'm sorry. I'll try me very best to be a responsible boyfriend so that you won't feel like an irresponsible girlfriend anymore." what he said made me melt. He kissed me on my cheeks. He's sweet sometimes..

The moment is beyond perfect and i want to have even a single remembrance,kinuha ko sa pouch ko yung polaroid ko and tinapat ito sa amin "1 2 3" i clicked it and di nagtagal lumabas na yung picture

Pinakita ko ito sakanya..we look happy. He's resting his head on my shoulder with his eyes closed he looks peaceful..while i'm smiling widely. Kung ibang tao ako at makikita ko tong picture na to i'll think na inlove kami sa isa't isa

Ilang beses pa kaming nagpose sa camera and i love every single photo we've made. May isa nakatawa kaming parehas at meron ding parehas kaming nakapikit while smiling..may isa pa na he's kissing me sa cheeks. After that he helped me put the helmet and umalis na kami..he's driving normally now while i'm enjoying the moment,hoping that he is too

He kissed me goodnight at para naman akong bata na nabilhan ng candy pagkapasok ko. I'm so happy. Yung saya na nakakatakot kasi hindi mo alam kung anong susunod na pwedeng mangyari..

He called after that. He told me na nakauwi na sya and kahit nung makapasok na sya sa bahay nila and do normal stuffs magkausap parin kami i even heard his brother on the other line teasing him. I heard him laugh and i like it when he laughs. We even argued about Pride and Prejudice because he's saying that girls only love the chase..that girls love what they can't have and that we girls love being hurt..we go for things that make us suffer.. At some point he's right.

Maybe we really want people we can't have and we love people who hurt us the most. It's pretty non sense but it's true.

I don't know how we have came to this point but i'm loving how he tells me non sense things and how we laugh at our dumbest jokes. I like how he makes me feel. I like how annoying he is for a second and how sweet he is for the next second.

I like how he makes me feel..somehow important. I like talking with him..i like being with him and having him around. And this thing is scaring the hell out of me.

Natatakot ako na baka mahulog ako ng sobra at hindi nya ako saluhin. Natatakot ako na baka matutunan ko na syang mahalin pero hindi nya kayang suklian ito. Natatakot ako na baka bukas pagkagising ko hindi na sya yung Jacob na sweet at Jacob na may pakealam sa nararamdaman ko. Natatakot ako sa pwedeng mangyari and i can't help it. Natatakot akong sumugal kasi sa larong ito ilang beses na kong natalo. Natatakot ako na masanay. Natatakot akong kumapit at hayaan nalang ang daloy ng tadahana kasi baka bukas makalawa iwan nalang nya ko sa ere. Natatakot ako.

And then i fell asleep while my phone's still on my left ear..i fell asleep hearing his peaceful breathing