Living London (An AmazingPhil and Danisnotonfire fanfiction)

Chapter 11: Indirection

*Rachel POV*

Each day grew progressively worse. Abby and I were hanging out with our friends more every day. I hardly had time to myself. I was only more haunted by my past, despite my intentions of not letting it get to me.

Dan had become suddenly silent. I felt bad about canceling on him multiple times, but I never expected this silence. On his Instagram were pictures of him hanging out with YouTuber friends he hadn't seen in a while. He seemed to be enjoying his time. I was busy, so it's not like I expected him to wait on me, but I felt incredibly jealous, and angry even. He was enjoying his time and showing it off. I was enduring hell and was being punished for it. He wouldn't even respond to texts.

I yawned. Finally some time alone. It was two AM. I stretched back on the couch and closed my eyes.

I woke up to keys constantly turning and shifting in the door. I panicked. Was someone trying to break in?

"Open the door," an overly cheerful voice said. It was Abby. I was suddenly reminded she wasn't home... again.

I tiptoed to the doorway. I opened the door, revealing to me the mess that was my friend. Her brown hair looked crunchy, spreading in many directions. Her dress was half off, falling off her shoulder and down her side. Her makeup was blurred like she rubbed her eyeliner and lipstick across her entire face.

She dropped the keys on the floor. "WOOOHOOO!" She shouted.

"Shh. The neighbors are asleep," I shushed her.

"WHO GIVES TWO SHITS BOUT THE NEIGHBORS?" She continued.

I felt desperate to quiet her down. "Shh! Seriously!"

"COME ON IN HUN," she shouted.

What?

A guy came in, looking just as messy as Abby, stumbling along. He burped loudly and then laughed.

"WE'RE GONNA GO HAVE SEX NOW. BYE," Abby shouted.

Abby and the random guy whose name I didn't know stumbled across the living room. The guy stopped in the middle of the room and turned. Soon, I heard gags. Oh no.

Vomit spewed across the carpet. I turned my head away in disgust. The smell filled my nose. I gagged and put my hand on my stomach. I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself down. Unexpectedly, it worked.

I turned to where the barf was, and followed up to the strange guy who was standing in the living room. He turned to Abby and they immediately began kissing. As I looked, there was still vomit on his lips, and it was now on my friend's. I held myself back from throwing up. I felt my eyes start watering.

They continued to make out right in front of me. I didn't know what to do. I was tired, sad, horrified, and disgusted. I just wanted to clean the vomit out of the carpet, get amnesia applicable for the last few weeks, and then wake up in my bed all happy to see Dan.

I loved him. I really did. I still didn't want to, but I did. And I had to endure this.

Why did he ignore me? Was he bitter? Did he love me? Did he not like me anymore? Did problems with Dan mean that he would stop caring?

I didn't want the answer to these questions, but I was afraid I had answered them automatically in my head.

Abby and the guy disappeared from the room. I was left with a puddle of barf seeping into the carpet.

I went into the kitchen, where I retrieved a bowl. I filled it with water and soap. I got a towel.

I returned to the living room and began scrubbing.

I finished, doing who knows how well of a job. I was tired. It was dark. I didn't want to be here.

I collapsed on my bed, in my own clothes. As I laid back and looked up at the ceiling, I saw the darkness that reflected my own thoughts. The water in my eyes receded. I was unable to cry a single tear. I became unable to feel anything. Everything was not fine, but it wasn't anything horrible either. I was numb.

I heard various moaning and screaming from next door. It was loud. I couldn't fall asleep. I felt my tired eyes sting with tiredness.