Living London (An AmazingPhil and Danisnotonfire fanfiction)

Chapter 48: Freedom

*Rachel POV*

I felt life moving through my veins, empowered by my own mind. I was able to move, to walk, to go anywhere I needed to go. All because I commanded myself to do so? An existential moment, really. It was a cloudy day like any other, but yet, everything felt brighter. I became strongly aware of my willpower to move my own body. It's taken for granted. After being inside a hospital room for days, going outside was actually like winning a prize. That prize is being alive.

Going to the Underground had never been so great. I felt the wind being forced out of the tunnel by the quick moving trains. I saw the colors on the signs. I appreciated the order. I appreciated everything. I felt like a child, asking a parent what things were with curiosity and excitement over every little thing. I didn't know when I last left that way.

The more I thought about it, I wasn't afraid. Can you believe that? I wasn't overthinking. I was calm about it. I was happy. Even if I was convicted, it wouldn't matter. I was alive. I knew what was right. No one could take that away from me. I was buzzing with awareness at all that was around me. Everything fell into place.

Dan was staring at me the whole way home. Not in a creepy way. He was maybe seeing a change in me as I was seeing a change in the things around me. It felt like everything was holding its breath, and then everything let go. I could describe it in a million ways and in a million words, but I could never find a way to describe how calm, beautiful, and pure I felt.

There were dozens of people around, standing in the train, looking forward without seeing through their eyes, dazing off into thoughts about something else somewhere. I wondered if they had ever considered the way that the air felt or the wonderfully color-coordinated Tube lines. Or maybe I was just insane.

I was a bit out of shape from not walking around much at all in my days in the hospital. Even as Dan and Phil invited me to explore London, I was out of shape. I hadn't explored in the longest time. And God, did I love to explore, anywhere, really. It was something I discovered once I let my mother control me no longer. Like Rapunzel, I wanted to go off from the tower and see the world. I finally had the strength in my body again, the doctor said, but yet I felt so tired. So, Dan and I both huffed up the stairs.

I even had trouble putting the key into the lock. It got stuck. I jiggled it until I was able to get it in. Around anyone else, I would have felt like an absolute nervous wreck messing up. But this was Dan. I knew him. I was comfortable around him. Best of all, he was the same way.

We walked together into my flat and stood in the empty living room. It was kind of sad to look at, but I myself didn't feel sad. I turned around to see Dan watching me. I smiled a little bit, unsure of what to say. I reached my arms around him instead. He wrapped his arms around me as well, and we just stood there holding each other for a long time. I felt the sigh of the universe again, so peaceful, like Sunday mornings, naturally waking up after sleeping in, the sun pouring in through the blinds.

Then there was a knock at the door.

I separated from Dan probably before he heard the knock itself. It was like I had flinched.

He looked at me, confused and looking for a clue.

I read his expression, but didn't react. I breathed, stepped forward, and opened the door.

It was the Inspector.

"Hello, Miss Browning. May I come in and talk with you?"

I nodded and motioned him in with my hands, "Come right in. Do you want anything?"

"No, but thank you," the Inspector said.

I looked at Dan.

By his expression, I could tell he already knew what was going on.

"Should I be here?" Dan asked me quietly.

"I don't know. But I would like it if you could be," I whispered back. The Inspector looked at me. "I'll be right there. I just got home. Did you try to call when I was away? The living room is probably most comfortable..."

The inspector sat down a distance away in a chair, taking my cue. "I came once, but once I saw you were not home, I decided to come in a few more days. It's not urgent."

"Well, I'm sorry about that," I said. I almost wanted to explain why I was gone, because I felt guilty about disappearing. I wondered if staying silent about why I was gone might seem suspicious. I came to the conclusion that saying more than necessary was probably even worse. I turned slightly, about to head over to the Inspector. "Can you stay?" I almost whispered, before meeting the Inspector in the living room.

"I will," Dan said, with a nervous smile.

I wasn't nervous, but Dan being nervous made me nervous. It made me wonder if I should be nervous. Even if I should have been and I wasn't, I was nervous about Dan being nervous. Or upset that he was nervous and I had been the cause.

I joined the Inspector, while Dan stayed at a safe distance.

"He and I are back together," I explained. "No awkward ex lurking situation."

The Inspector seemed to understand the new information, but found it not useful. He nodded without looking at me, clicking a pen open.

"Well, I'm sure you will be pleased with the updates on Abby's case."

"Yes?" I listened.

"You might have previously guessed that you were a suspect for Abby's murder, being the one who lives here, with a key to the apartment, and having been in and out before and after the hours of her death."

"I had thought that," I slightly leaned forward.

"Well, that's just it. Enough evidence has lead to our believing that you were not involved in her murder. It has been a confirmed murder. But, as it is, there has been evidence pointing toward another suspect, who has been nearly confirmed to have been in the house and her room near the time of her death."

"Really?" I said. I didn't know what else to say. I thought she was murdered. Maybe I was surprised about it, even when I didn't think there was something to be surprised about. Maybe I was not believing that I was let off the suspect list so soon and so easily.

"Yes. We cannot tell you any information about who this person is, but I thought I would let you know the information, and that you could be called to testify what you have told me surrounding the event of her death, if the time comes that someone is brought to trial."

I pushed back the uneasy feeling of jurors listen to me talk about my friend's death. "I will, if called to."

The Inspector got up from the chair, and headed toward the door, "We will update you on any new information."

"Thank you," I said.

I heard his pen click closed before the left.

Everything was silent for a while. I could tell Dan was looking at me, even though I couldn't see him.

I'm free. I'm free. I'm alive. I've never been so alive.

I suddenly burst into tears, smiling and wiping them away.

Dan came over to me to see what was the matter.

"Dan, I'm free. I'm not going to be locked up. Dan, it's over."

I was in a fit of gleeful hysterics for at least another hour. And I was not a hysterical person.