Living London (An AmazingPhil and Danisnotonfire fanfiction)

Chapter 39: Head Turns

*Rachel POV*

I opened my eyes and rolled over. The digital clock by my bedside was unrecognizable. The sheets I was underneath were unrecognizable. I mentally noted again that I wasn't in London. It was 4 AM, in California, on the day of Abby's memorial service.

Thoughts ran through my head almost instantly. I felt like I never really had a break from the invasive thoughts, even when I was sleeping.

I started thinking about what happened the night before with my mom. I didn't think much about it in the moment, because I was just sort of done with thinking. But she told me that she loved me. She told me to not give up on Dan and Phil. Knowing my mom, I felt a little bit suspicious. At the same time, I was terrified, because how could I ever get Dan and Phil back, after all that happened?

I broke up with Dan in a moment of frustration, but I didn't say anything that I regretted. My life was changing. Well, but now, I wasn't sure what life I even had. Everything changed with Abby's death. I couldn't think in the long term if my life depended on it. But what Dan said to me, sober or drunk, hurt me. I thought of all his accusations and blame. I couldn't help but to think of Michael, and all the things he said to me. Back then, I promised myself that I wouldn't let someone put me down like that. I knew Dan didn't wish me dead like Michael had, but abuse is abuse. Whether he meant to hurt me or not, he did, and then he didn't act like he cared, until now, maybe with his coming here.

I kept thinking it over without coming up with a solution. I changed my thoughts to the memorial, and getting through the day. In the end, that was all I had to do.

...

"This is ridiculous," my mother said. "This size parking lot for that big of a building?"

My mom was at the steering wheel, glaring at people crossing in the parking lot. There were few people that I actually noticed. There were some children running out across the parking lot, skipping and screaming. Their parents paid no attention but walked forward, looking down at their phones without considering that a car might hit them.

"These people are all idiots," my mom said.

I laughed. I agreed with her, in some way. At least, they were doing idiotic things, whether or not they were idiots.

"They might as well should have rented the Staples Center for this," I added.

Finally, a generous person decided to wait to cross, and stopped those behind her, gesturing that there has been a car waiting for about ten minutes, while several cars were strung bumper to bumper behind it. The person kindly waved to my mom, but my mom refused to return the gesture. She glared through her sunglasses and zoomed forward.

As we got out of the car, it was time for the trek to the building. I made the bad decision of wearing heels. I didn't own too many shoes, so some outfits had to be worn with certain shoes. The terrible contraptions were the only ones that matched with the dress I was wearing, which I chose because it took up the least space possible in my bag, not that it was skimpy or anything. Just a general, basic, knee-length dress that looked fine for any occasion that required a simple dress.

I noticed how hot it was just now. It was only February, but as it is in California, the first wave of summer. I pulled out my phone to check the temperature. It was 85 degrees.

"Jesus Christ," Dan said. "What layer of hell is this?"

Phil laughed, but I remained silent. My mom marched ahead, leading the pack.

...

At the entrance, I was met by Abby's mom, who greeted up, gave us all formal handshakes, and gave us programs with schedules on who would speak. There was an ancient picture of Abby from high school on the cover. I felt a little sick, but I let it slide.