I, Alpha.

Chapter 6: Eulogies and Distilled Tears

I open the wooden doors of the room and everyone turns towards me.

Straight ahead I see the open casket with Dad inside. I feel tears well up as I head down the aisle.

As I get closer to the front, I see many pack members weeping and sniffling at the loss of their beloved alpha.

Mom is crying next to Mykey, who is staring straight ahead and muttering silent prayers for Dad's passing.

I take a seat next to Mom.

The pastor comes out and starts speaking. "We are gathered here today to commemorate the passing of our Alpha, James McCourney, who fought for our pack during the invasion of the Blood Moon pack. He died in battle against their Alpha and will be remembered for generations to come. We have his daughter, Michelle Davis, who will be the first to read her eulogy."

I hear claps around me as I stand and walk toward the front. I had created a eulogy without anyone telling me, so it didn't catch me off guard when they called me up.

I clear my throat and the applause dies down.

I start speaking. "I didn't meet my dad, the alpha, until just a few days ago. When I woke up from my first transition, as you guys know since I was told that you guys could smell my scent from here, I heard my mom and my dad arguing in the kitchen. After that, I was slowly revealed to this world of werewolves and mates and what not. It's not that I didn't trust him, it's that I didn't want to trust him and be led into this world of unknown. When he took me to the pack's territory, I didn't want to be there, but little did I know that it would soon become my new home. The next day, he left this world."

Tears well in my eyes, fall onto my cheeks and trail down, falling onto my quivering hands.

I continue speaking, while my voice was starting to shake, "I regret so many things from when I met him to now. I regret not wanting to trust him. I regret resenting him as my father because he left my mom and I. I regret that after finally meeting him, I didn't want to have him in my life. I finally realize the reasons behind him leaving us behind as he continued to live as our Alpha. And I am grateful that he protected me without letting me know that he existed. May he rest in peace as a father and an alpha."

I look skyward and more tears fall down.

When I look back at the pack members I am met with an eery silence. Claps start slowly, one after another, and soon the whole room erupts into applause.

"Thank you," I say with a small smile and walk back to my seat, listening to the other eulogies.

*****

I didn't think it would be this tough talking to a group of 200 people, varying in age.

I was standing behind a podium on a stage.

The ritual was taking place in the courtyard.

It would seem like a beautiful event if I didn't have to listen to the pack's thoughts while trying to clear my mind.

Everyone is dressed in formal attire, which makes them even more intimidating.

I place my hands on both sides of the podium.

Looking around did not help my anxiety.

I tapped on the mic and the feedback screeches out of the speakers.

Part of the audience giggled, the other part looked unamused.

"Sorry, " I start, "Well, as you guys know, I...uh...in the last battle...the...the Alpha and Beta both fell during battle...and by fell I mean died...and um."