Beautiful Insanity (A Skyrim/Oblivion Fanfiction) ((ORIGINAL))

My Sunshine

Note: Regina's officially taking on Sheogorath's insanity.

....

I felt the insanity of the land affecting me. Since the day I'd returned to the Isles, I refused to allow anyone to utter the name 'Regina'. I was Sheogorath, not the sniveling brat that allowed her own heart to die. The skies all over the Isles were gray and bleak.

I made the Door appear in Cyrodil, in the same place as I'd entered-- just outside Bravil. I called all who had insanity in their hearts through the door. I told my son, the only remnant of my Prince, not to kill anyone with the mind of an addled child, and he listened. Many flocked through the Gates of Madness-- and that included many adventurers looking to claim this new land.

They all went to Xedilian, providing me with much amusement. My son let a few pass, knowing his mother's wishes for a distraction. I decided to visit him, feeling upset. My Gatekeeper was finally handsome in my eyes, and he was precious to me. Late at night, when I was not bothered by anyone from Passwall, I approached him. He let out a groan and thundered over to me. I held his hand, the last remnant of my Jyggalag.

"My precious," I cooed to him, trying not to cry. I remembered what happened when Relmyna had cried over the previous Gatekeeper, it had hurt it terribly. I avoided doing the same thing to my son. "Don't you worry, my child. I'll always be here for you," I promised. "And you're my special boy. Thank you for watching my land for the two centuries... and protecting my Realm." He moaned sadly, bowing his head. "I must go now, my son," I told him, standing up. "Goodbye." I vanished.

...

I decided to walk around in the forests for a while, surveying the land. The Grummites and Gnarls I encountered avoided me, as did the other beasts. All but a Skinned Hound, that is. It barked happily, its tongue lolling about its mouth. I decided to keep it as a pet.

"I'll call you... how about Brash?" I looked down, and the newly-named Brash tipped his head. "Good boy." I patted his head.

That's when I was attacked from behind, a dagger between my ribs. I stared at the steel blade, feeling the spike of pain as it was pulled out. I waved a hand over it, healing the wound immediately. Brash growled furiously at my attacker. When I turned around, I saw an Orcish adventurer. His eyes widened as I shook off his stabbing.

"Who are you?" he gasped, stepping backwards. "You..."

"Oh! You didn't really give me a chance to introduce myself... with your sad attempt at an assassination, and all." I bowed dramatically. "Sheogorath, Daedric Prince of Madness," I hissed, enjoying the terrified glint in his eyes. "And you, sir, just signed your death warrant." I snapped his neck with a twist of my wrist. After that encounter, I refused to go anywhere without either an Aureal or Mazken by my side. I was attacked several more times, and each time, they failed to harm me, thanks to my guards.

Brash was a constant companion of mine. I created many creatures, including mounts for my loyal soldiers. To the Golden Saints, I gave a golden panther with white feathery wings, fur tufts sticking out on their paws. The Seducers received a tall, thin, bluish-green wolflike animal with thin torn clear wings, resembling some sort of insect's wings. It had black smoke emanating from holes in its body, with short spiky fur. I called them Daybreaks and Nightfangs, respectively.

Another creature was the Parasic. It was a large dragon-insect hybrid creature that dwelled in swamps and marshes, feeding on any person foolish enough to wander into its lair.

...

Haskill proved to be a faithful chamberlain, but soon, the odd looks he sent my way were becoming tedious.

"Haskill, if you don't stop giving me those eyes, I'll rip them out of your skull."

"A-as you wish, R-- Sheogorath. I will stop." He was unused to using my new name. It was my only persona, now. With the loss of a love like my own, how was my sanity supposed to remain? I thought for a moment, tapping on the armrests of my throne. 

"Haskill? I have a new proclamation," I announced. "No one is to ever mention the former Sheogorath, or Jyggalag. To do so is to face instant execution."

"As you desire, My Queen." I'd upheld the previous laws, including the banning of beards. None were allowed to grow facial hair, or else I'd be forced to kill them for trying to imitate Jyggalag. I wanted to put my dead love from my constant thoughts, and anything and everything was a reminder. My mind shifted every day, and I knew that I was where I belonged. In the land of the insane...

...

The days were busy, from creatures attacking settlements that I had to go kill to setting up a new judgement to determine Dukes and Duchesses. It was enough to keep my mind filled... but at night, when the Nightfangs howled and the Daybreaks fell asleep, I was alone-- utterly alone with my thoughts.

Thoughts of my parents. Their intentions. Nocturnal. But most of all... my Jyggalag. I wondered if there was an afterlife for Daedric Princes. The ponderings tormented me night after night, and it got so bad that I gripped my head as hard as I could until I screamed in agony from the mental pain.

"SAVE ME!" I wailed one night. "PLEASE, RIP OUT MY HEART, TAKE THE SUFFERING AWAY FROM ME!" But if anyone heard my pleas, they failed to answer.

...

Another day passed. But this time, I had an urge to shirk my responsibilities and go for a walk in the woods. I ignored Haskill's protests and told him to take care of anything that might happen. I allowed my feet to lead me away, deep into the forest.

I ignored the creatures scuttling around my feet, only walking in the way I was pulled. Eventually, I came to a lake. It was gorgeous; a magnificent sight. The sun glittered off the shimmering waters, and a fish swam lazily along the side of the bank.

A splash distracted me. A man was sitting on the bank, his feet in the water. I immediately grew defensive, readying a spell to blast him to bits. But then he turned his head, and I had no time to react when he lunged at me.

And kissed me strongly.

"Jyggalag?" I whispered incredulously, gripping my Prince tightly.

"My love," he gasped, holding me with equal fervor. "Oh, my dearest love..."

"What happened?" I cried out, the memory of Nocturnal incinerating him at the forefront of my mind.

"I never died," he murmured, stroking my hair. "Defeated, aye. Nearly killed. But I'd never leave you." Tears spilled from my eyes, and he bent down to kiss them away.

"I'm... I don't have the words," I whispered.

"Then don't speak," he whispered softly, molding his mouth to mine again.

Thunder crashed, and I bolted up from my bed.

I got out of bed and stared at the gray and twisted world out my window. The skies were covered with gray stormclouds, and I realized that... he wasn't coming back. It finally hit me. I'd been in denial. In some way, hoping he'd return to me.

But he never would. He. Was. Dead. I collapsed on the ground in a fit of sobs, trying to rid myself of the thorn that drove itself into my heart. Jyggalag, Jyggalag, Jyggalag! I would do anything to bring you back to me...

Before I knew it, I was singing to myself on that cold stone ground. My chest was heaving, but I choked out the words of a lullaby.

"You are my sunshine... my only sunshine... you made me happy when skies were gray... you'll never know, dear, how much I love you... please don't take my sunshine away. The other night, dear... when I was sleeping... I dreamt I held you in my arms... when I awoken, I was mistaken... and I hung my head down... and cried..."