"Harmony." I said softly. She looked up and grabbed me tight.
"Mama..." The blood made me shake.
"What did you do?" I asked. She squeezed her eyes shut and said,
"I release the pain... The hurt I been feeling." I wripped her sweater apart and pulled it off her tiny body. Her arms were sliced open. I tore the yoga pants off andstared at the cuts on her thighs.
"Harmony." I said. She rubbed my face and said,
"I feel sore mama." I cried and carried her to the bathroom. She gave me the knife.
Screams occurred from the bedroom.
"HARMONY!" Lyrics ran to the bathroom.
"You killed harmony!" She screamed. Then attacked me. I pushed lyrics out. I locked the door and put her in the tub. She calmed down and closed her eyes. I brought Lyrics in she beat on my chest.
"Why did you kill her.!" I grabbed her face,
"Harmony... Is a cutter... She cut her self.. Look!" Lyrics looked over at Harmony as she lay silently in the tub. I stayed with Lyrics until she fell asleep.
"I remember." Harmony spoke. I looked up at her.
"What do you remember." She sighed,
"Being in the room... I was sleep... When he woke me up." She breathed against the tub.
"He touched my legs and told me... He loved me." She looked at me.
"He said he just wanted to kiss it... My vagina... And I... Let him." Her voice became shaky. I stared at her.
"I let him kiss it... Then... He licked it and said, he was going to keep it a secret." I watched her she curled up.
"The next day after my nap... Nana grabbed me up and threw me on the floor... She told me I was disgusting... And I was a spoiled brat... She said I was worthless just like my terrible mother... I was just waking up when she grabbed me... I cried and... Begged her not to hit me...
But she smacked me up and kicked me down. So I ran to Aunty kierra... She... She kept me safe... But her boyfriend... He got to me and when she found out she hit me too.. Her boy friend touched me when it was my nap time. He made me kiss him...
When I refused he scratched my face... Mama I don't know how no body managed to notice the big red scar across my eye... I began to realize no body cared about me... Uncle Ron and Ant molested me every chance they got.
Then aunty kii cut my neck after she saw the hickeys on my thighs. She said she smelled her boyfriends cologne. I'm only four years old I don't know what's going on. But I was smart enough to keep my mouth shut about it... After she cut me Nana burned me when she was trying to sew me up down there... It hurted so much.
She tried to keep the boys away but they cut the rope and raped me. My first time actually trying to commit suicide at the age four... I drank a whole bottle of mouth wash... And chewed on pills... Nana caught me she beat me until I couldn't move."
Harmony looked at her wrist and said,
"I learned how to cut when I was six... I cut because I started to have night mares... I started to see Ronny on top of me... And until this day I can still feel his breath against my lips and his fingers on my wrist... Holding me down while I beg to be free. I started to see Ant holding my legs up while he kissed me and his spit on my face when I screamed while he fingered me. I can still feel Aunty's nails go into my skin every night before I sleep... I feel her teeth sinking deep into my back... Or my face. Nana's cigarette burns bruised me. The way the ashes fell in my eyes when she cursed at me..." Harmony looked at me,
"And you thought you had it bad... Ron threatened to kill me if I didn't give him my virginity... He said if he ever caught me sleeping he was going to slice my neck open and burn me. I began to starve myself just to stay awake... It worked... Becauee I never fell asleep... Until today... I can never sleep until like two in the morning." She laughed softly and I stood up picking her up then carried her to the bed.
I laid Harmony down thinking about those words she said to me.
"You never really cared until it was too late." I held my arm and watched as she began to fall asleep.
"I wish I can make it all up to you... I wish I paid attention Harmony." Tears filled my eyes and I began to cry.
I had never cried every since I found out Harmony was raped. Parts of me felt rotten and useless. I wanted to give up with life.
Her Story made me look crazy like a piece of nothing. I hated myself so much.
