I call my man the minute I get into the car and drive off the hospital. I won’t even tell him the price of the meds because he will refund me. Like, I want to be as financially stable as him when I grow up. the only difference is I will be sending money to my kids and my brother randomly. And then maybe spoiling him a number of times. I am not a stingy girlfriend and he knows that.
“Khuluma. (Speak).” That’s what he says when he answers the call. Like, why am I always caught in situations like these? He is never at fault. Like, I never hit him with a ‘Vuka sikhulume’ in the middle of the night. Or ‘explain yourself’ randomly. Hhayi, his previously relationships make him have the ultimate guide to making a woman happy and that’s unfair because I want to be angry at him randomly and have him grovel and calling me by my clan names or even worshipping the ground I walk on.
“Kanti wena when are you making a mistake?” I start off our conversation. Okay. I am pissed. He frowns on the other end of the line, looking at me like I have lost my marbles. “Men are supposed to be explaining themselves not the other way around. Like now I am supposed to be walking on eggshells because I omitted some information. Women are allowed to have secrets. We are the secret bearers in the household and it is unfair that you are not allowing me to have my own secrets. You are being unfair right now.” I pout at the end of my silly monologue and he just gives me a shocked stare.
“Hlengiwe, are you okay?” he asks after a minute and I scoff.
“How can I be okay when you want me to thetha amacala every day? Why can’t we just chill? The thing between my boobs is there for a reason. For me to keep some things in and take them to the grave with me. You are not supposed to know everything Melisizwe. I am the secret bearer of the relationship. I am there to bear even yours.”
He chuckles and scratches his beard. “Let me just leave you with your secrets then. You know my number when you decide to be honest.”
“Haaa. You are leaving me, Mnguni? You are leaving me after you said you will stand by me through thick and thin? At the first sign of trouble, you ditch me? Never trust men, shame. They will show you their true colours.” I don’t even know where this is going. what I do know is that I am pissed that he wants to hang up on me. The nerve.
“I am not standing by you because I am sitting down and letting whatever madness that is going on in that beautiful brain of yours shine. They always say the smartest people also have that 0.01% of dumbness in their brain and I fear what has made you unleash it. Anyways, I love you with your craziness and I will talk to you later.” No. he can’t leave with uncertainty. I guess I have to come clean now.
“I went to see Dr. Mniki because my ankle has been showing me flames for the past two weeks.” I mumble and he frowns. Then he asks me to repeat what I just said and I say it louder this time around, already feeling the shame creep in. I don’t like secrets between us. This is the most transparent relationship I have ever had and I would like it to stay that way.
“That means you have been lying to me and telling me that everything is okay while you were experiencing some pain? Hlengiwe, we are not kids. You telling me about things that are going wrong even if it is every day, won’t ever make you a nuisance to me. You are my woman and I love you. I hate that you felt you couldn’t be transparent with this to me. I thought I was your safe place.”
That breaks my heart. “But you are, babe. I am sorry for not saying anything. I know that you like for us to have clear communication and me keeping things from you is not ideal. I just didn’t want you leaving everything and coming to my side just to take care of me and make sure I am fine.”
He sighs. “But that’s my job as your partner. To take care of you, especially when you can’t take care of yourself. Work can wait. Nobody is dying. Your health and well-being are my number one priority.” Whatever prayer I said that made me land a man like Mnguni, copy and paste to every woman in the world because everyone deserves to experience this kind of love at least once in a lifetime.
“I am okay now. thank you for being there for me. I appreciate it and I love you for that. I will drink my meds and rest; right after the spa treatment I am headed to. And you will be pleased to know that I am going to the farm house. I told the farm manager I am coming for a few days. I need to unwind and what better place to do that than at a farm, away from any distractions?”
He exhales loudly and smiles. “I am glad to hear that and I love you, Hlengiwe. Your happiness means everything to me and I work hard so that you can play harder or rest. Whichever that rocks your boat.” I giggle and he also laughs. “Maybe I might pop by and…”
“No. No. No. You will tend to the business that side and make sure that it is complete before you head back to Durban to spend some time with your minions. Your life does revolve around me because, let’s be real, I am the greatest girlfriend ever,” he laughs at that.
“But you have other priorities in life and I don’t want you to sway from that because of me. Also visit your parents if you feel like it. Fix your relationship with Zama and try to reach out to Mbulelo. I might not be their favourite person on earth, but you are. Before this, you were a role model to them. I don’t want our relationship changing how they view you. They might not acknowledge me but I want them to still love and cherish you as a father. You are a great father and I wish all fathers could learn a thing or two from you.” I know my last sentence has sparked a buried conversation and I cut him off with my eyes before he can say anything.
He smiles at me. “I hear you, ntokazi. And then you say I shouldn’t marry you while you are the wisest 28-year-old I have ever met. You are on another level and I wish everyone could learn from you. Males and females.” I roll my eyes to hide my blush. He is smooth. We say our goodbyes as I find a parking space outside African Essence Spa.
I did book an appointment for a 90-minute Aromatherapy Full Body Massage. I head inside and my mind immediately feels at ease. I love spa treatments.
×××
After spending two hours at the spa, I go buy a lot of groceries before driving to the farm. It is not that far from Empangeni CBD. Less than an hour drive. But the main aim for this unwind is to relax as much as I can and only drive back to the city when I head back home. Sithembiso and his wife welcome me when I arrive and they help me with the groceries and my bags.
We catch up on a couple of things as I unpack the groceries. They usually occupy the farm house and even though I insisted they stay, they chose to spend the next few days at their house and give me some privacy. I appreciate that though. After changing the bed sheets and comforter on my bed for the week, I lie down and exhale a deep breath.
Yeah, neh. This is you, Hlengiwe Mabuyakhulu. Who would have known that you would reach such a stage in your life? But I am proud of you. Your new nick name should be Against All Odds, because you succeeded against every obstacle you encountered and you are here now. not even a resurfacing of a monster from the past could do anything to sway you from your dreams. That is what I call a fierce woman right there. Maybe one day I will be brave enough to march up to him and give him my piece of mind; but for now, I am choosing to protect my peace. that’s what Mndeni said when I told him.
He said: “the timing is not right, sisi. I know a lot of emotions might have been evoked from that encounter but I will give you an advice therapists would send me to jail for. I need you to lock away that encounter in the maximum-security prison part of your brain. I need your focus to be on one thing and one thing only. Wining MasterChef South Africa. This is your dream and knowing you, you are only going to give yourself one chance. Let’s make that chance count and make sure that nothing diverts your eyes on the price.”
And that’s what I did. I locked away that encounter. I know that one day I might be forced to face it, but my dreams come first and he does not get the power to take them away. He won’t ever rattle me. Not in this lifetime. I am stronger than I have ever been.
YOU ARE READING
Unhinged Love
Romance"I have never felt love like this before. So wrong yet feels so damn good. I must be going insane. That's the only explanation." Hlengiwe is a cool calm and collected lady but her world is about to be turned upside down when a man crushes into her l...
