Wonderland

❄B61❄ Melancholy

Chapter Sixty-One

Brayden's POV

Melancholy

December 16

"I'm such a villain," I said, after I had calmed down from my tumultuous emotions.

"Sweetie, no," mom assured me. My head was on her chest, her arms around me. She rubbed my arm soothingly. God, I've missed this. She still smells like laundry detergent and cookies. "You're no villain."

I slapped my own sister, I thought. I haven't yet told her about what happened with Susanna. For some reason, I couldn't bring myself to reveal Susanna's situation right now. I know I should, to ensure her safety, but I didn't want to betray her again. She already hates me so much now. I did tell my mom about Heather, though.

"I'm sorry, mom. For everything. I shouldn't have treated you the way I did. It was unfair of me," I apologized. I had already apologized before, but I know that no amount of apologies could justify my actions.

"Hey, shh. I told you it was okay. The past is the past; let's forget about it, okay? I'm just happy you're here. I've missed you." Mom hugged me closer to her. Upstairs, I could hear my half brother crying. Mom's boyfriend was not home yet. It was still hard for me to accept the fact that my mother doesn't live with my father anymore, that she sleeps in bed with another man, and that she has another family. But I need to accept that this is the path she's chosen. This is the path she wants to walk. I can't be selfish and not let her walk down it just because I don't like it.

"I need to check on Andre. I'll be back. Maybe we can make sugar cookies together," mom said. She bunched her hair up into a ponytail and went down the hallway to Andre's room. I haven't really seen Andre before. He's less than a year old.

When mom's out of the room, I take out my phone to call Susanna again. I'm greeted by her voicemail. I frustratingly throw my phone on the couch.

Where the fuck is she? Does she not know how worried I am?

"Mom," I called, when I couldn't take it anymore.

"In here, Brady," she answered, from Andre's room. I walked in there to see her breastfeeding him. I awkwardly took a step back, my face red.

"Sorry," I mumbled, embarrassed.

"No, it's fine. What did you need to tell me?"

"I got into a fight with Susanna today."

"Again?" My mom was used to Susanna and mine's little banters.

"I don't know where she is," I croaked, feeling my throat swell. "She said some hurtful things to me and in a moment of anger, I slapped her."

"Oh no, Brady..." My mother looked disappointed in me. I couldn't have felt more ashamed of myself. Right when we had forgiven each other, too.

"I didn't mean it. I wish I could take it all back. I always act without thinking. I'm impulsive. I can't change that about myself."

"No one's blaming you. Do you think she went with Watson?"

"I don't know. I don't know where she went. She ran into an alley and that was the last I saw of her."

"I think I know where she went. Give me a minute and we can go out and find her together, okay?"

I nodded and slipped out into the hallway again. A few minutes, mom emerged with Andre in her arms. I followed her to her car. She strapped Andre into his car seat and I sat shotgun. Andre looks chubby. Chubbier than when I was a baby.