Wonderland

❄B36❄ Regret

Chapter Thirty-Six

Brayden's POV

Regret

November 29

"Ugh, would it kill you to go easy on me for once?" Berkeley complained, when I beat her for the sixth time at foosball.

"No can do, loser," I said, smirking. We had just finished dinner at a local Greek restaurant, and we were both utterly full. On our way back to campus, I spotted an arcade. I asked if Berkeley would like to hang out there for the rest of the night, and she agreed. However, I could see now that she was having seconds thoughts.

"You're such an ass," she said, shaking her head amusingly. If she hadn't begged me to take her out on a date today, then I would have been at the library studying with Tyler. Finals were in two weeks, and tomorrow morning, I have to wake up at 5am to register for my classes for next quarter.

"You can't accept defeat," I said, smugly.

"You're right: I really can't. I forfeit this game." She came over to me and grabbed my arm, pulling me away from the foosball table. "Can we do something else now? Arcade games are beyond boring."

"Um, what the hell are you talking about? Arcade games are life."

She rolled her eyes and dragged me into a more secluded corner of the building. Smiling smugly at me, she wrapped her arms around my neck and pressed her body against mine. With Berkeley having at least two inches of heels on, I didn't need to dip my head down too much to kiss her. I could hear a soft moan escaping from her lips when I curled my fingers into her hips and kissed her neck. In between giggles, she said, breathlessly, "That feels good."

I would've laughed at that, but I found myself unable to. Instead, my breath seized in my throat when I recalled the other time I had heard someone telling me that:

Heather.

"Call me when you get back. We can grab a bite together or something," I said.

Maybe I had imagined it, but I could've sworn I heard a faint scoff coming from her. "Whatever you say, Brayden," Heather said, monotonously.

"I mean it," I promised.

She tilted her head up and looked at me. "Fine. I don't care. I just care about you actually keeping your promises, because it seems like you break every single one of them. I'm tired of people giving me false hopes. I'm tired of everything."

I immediately pulled back from Berkeley. Fuck! I squeezed my eyes shut, internally shooting myself. I can't believe it. I can't believe I forgot about her. I can't believe I broke my promise.

"Is something wrong?" Berkeley asked, touching my cheek lightly.

"Yeah," I lied, opening my eyes again. "I just remembered I have something to do."

She scowled. "Homework again?"

"Got lots," I said, laughing anxiously. "Let's continue this some other time, okay?" I was relieved she hadn't asked if it was about Heather.

I planted a quick kiss on her lips before taking her hand and fast walking back to our dorm.

I hope to God Heather's not mad.

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Heather was mad.

Really mad.

Even though she didn't express it, I could see it written all over her face.

"I'm sorry," I apologized, when she was standing in front of me. "I feel like an utter dick right now."

Heather pursed her lips and blinked at me. She didn't say anything. What made me feel even worse was that I had missed her phone call earlier today, and never called her back because I ended up going out on a date with Berkeley. Some friend I was.

"I understand if you're mad at me," I said, quietly, bowing my head. I couldn't dare look at her.

"If you don't want to be friends with me, then just say it to my face," she seethed, finally speaking up.

I tilted my head up, my eyes widening. "Why would you think I wouldn't want to be friends with you?"

"Because," she said, her voice breaking, "You never mean anything you say to me. What kind of a friend does that? If you really valued me as your friend, you wouldn't forget about the promises you make me every time you're out with someone else."

"I do value you as my friend, though," I said, meekly, my mouth feeling dry.

"No, you don't," she burst. "You never do! I'm nothing to you!"

"Well, how would you know? It's not as if you have any other friends except for me!" I blurted, in a moment of anger. I instantly regretted my words as soon as they flew out of my mouth. Her entire face crumpled. I might as well have killed her. "I...I didn't..." I started, but I knew nothing I'd say would do any good, so I didn't finish my sentence. I felt horrible.

"You're right," Heather croaked. "I don't have any friends. I sometimes don't even know why I'm still alive. What am I doing here?" Her eyes glazed over, and I realized that she wasn't mentally here anymore. She was off in her own world.

"Did you take your medicine?" I asked, worriedly.

Heather snapped out of her reverie and focused her attention back to me. "Depends which medicine you're talking about."

"Heather, I'm being serious." I reached out and took hold of her arm, needing her to see how concerned I was for her.

"Or are you only feigning it?" she questioned, more to herself than to me.

"I'm not." Why won't she believe me?

Because you've let her down so many times?

She cocked her head at me, her eyebrows furrowing like they always do when she's deep in thought. "I can't see it."

"Can't see what?"

"Your honesty... The guy I used to know." Gazing sadly at me, she said, "I miss him." Yanking her arm from my hand, she didn't give me another glance before disappearing into her room, slamming the door shut behind her. I was left standing there alone in the hallway, feeling miserable and uneasy about the new Heather I was seeing.

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Quick update today! I'll be posting the next chapter soon because finals are coming up next week and I won't be updating much after this weekend.

Thanks for reading! I'll see you next time! :)