5SOS: A Dream

Chapter 11: Numb

Elia's POV.

I woke up the next morning with no intention of going to school, but my mom forced me to go. As I got dressed, I felt numb. I felt...emotionless. I had cried myself out, and then stared at the wall for an hour before deciding that I had to sleep. I didn't dream, which is not normal. I always dream of something, but it seemed as if morning came five minutes after I closed my eyes. I checked my phone and saw that I had three messages from Jackie, one from Micheal, two from Ashton, one from Calum, one from Juan, and one from Amy.

I deleted all of them, not even bothering to check them. I felt a small twinge of guilt as I deleted them, but it soon went away and I felt nothing again. I walked to school this time, vaguely remembering that I had left my car at school when Juan picked me up. A small part of my mind thanked God that my car was an old crappy one, because it surely would have gotten stolen if it were anything otherwise.

As I entered the cafeteria, I saw Jackie sitting with the guys, and Luke was there too. I stopped in my tracks, my heart pounding painfully as I saw Luke laughing with everyone, even Jackie. After what happened yesterday, I felt sort of betrayed that they were so happy. I turned around, and walked away from them, sitting in a small table at the far corner of the cafeteria. It was rather secluded, and no one ever looked over here, so Luke wouldn't see me even if he wanted to.

I sat there in silence, my Inner yelling at me in my head to suck up my depression and sit with my best friend. She knew it wasn't normal for me to do this, and was freaking out.

'WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!! WHY ARE YOU SITTING ALONE, HUH?!! THIS WAY, HE'S GOING TO KNOW THAT YOU'RE HURT!! Do you want him to know what he's putting you through? This is what he wants, to see you suffering! Be strong!! Don't let him win!!!' My inner screamed at me, waving her small fists everywhere.

I mentally sighed. 'I don't care anymore, inner. Let him win, he doesn't care about me, never did. If he did, then he quickly threw it away to protect his love. What ever friendship we had is over now. He doesn't want to see me, and frankly, I don't want to see him either. I lost him, and there's no going back.'

'So you're just going to give up?!!'

'Yes.'

Inner didn't reply, and I was glad she didn't. I suddenly felt eyes on me, and I looked up to see Jackie staring at me, silently asking why I was over there. I just looked at her, and her face turned sad as she looked into my eyes. She turned away, accepting my silent request to be left alone. I wonder what she saw in my eyes? Did she see my pain? My sorrow? Or were they as empty as I felt, showing an uncharacteristic lack of emotion?

I don't know, but she left me alone all day, only every once in a while giving me a small sympathetic smile. I felt nothing, only the emptiness where my heart was supposed to be. I saw Luke with Amy, and he would sometimes glare at me when he would catch me glaring. I would give him a blank look, and then turn my gaze to Amy, where she was smiling victoriously in his arms. At the end of the day, Jackie told me goodbye, and I nodded in response. She had never seen me like this, but then again, she was never there when I lost my other best friends. She hadn't known me then, but she was here now, and I was happy for her understanding me.

I drove my car home, and found a card in the passenger seat. I turned it around, looking for a clue as to who it was from, but found nothing. I opened it, and here's what it said.

Dear Elia,

I know you saw us that day. Did you really think Luke was going to believe you? Ha! He only believes those he truly cares about, so apparently, he doesn't care about you. But you figured that out, didn't you? He hates you now, and doesn't want to see you again. Now, I suggest you keep your mouth shut and stay away from Luke. You wouldn't want to lose any more friends, would you? ;)

Sincerely,
Amy

My eyes widened, and the emptiness in my chest began to fill with anger and fear. How could she?! She can't just threaten me like this!! I can let her win, I can't let her destroy me. Somehow, I know she'll get Luke to make the guys hate me, but would Jackie choose them over me. Would she believe Amy as easily as Luke did? And most importantly, can I survivsurvive the pain if she succeeds?

I was scared, angry, and sad. Definitely not a good combination while driving, and I learned this the hard way. As these questions ran through my mind, I didn't notice that I had started the car, and was currently driving. And these emotions were now blinding me, making me not notice the red light and the speeding car that was about to T-Bone my car. It wasn't until my head hit the window rather painfully and my stomach dropped from the feeling of turning upside down that I noticed I had crashed.

I felt myself tumbling, my seatbelt digging into my skin as it held my airborne body in my seat. I heard glass breaking, and felt many shards pierce my skin. My head was bleeding, my arms were still tightly clenched around the steering wheel, and my legs were crushed under my seat as I had unconsciously tried to make myself into a ball to prevent more damage. Finally, the car stopped, and my head felt hazy. I heard many fuzzy voices, and a ringing that I thought was in my head, but then realized it was my phone. I couldn't move my body, but I could feel many things. I felt how I was upside down, my body having slipped from the seatbelt due to my skinny frame. My head was barely touching the roof of my car, my feet had curled themselves on the seat with me, but now were hanging limp in font of me, leaving me in a very awkward and painful position. My arms were hanging, touching the roof beneath me. My arm moved, and I unbuckled my seat belt, making my body crash down a lot more awkwardly and painfully. The window was shattered, and even though I felt like I was literally in pieces, I tried to crawl out of it. I succeeded in getting my head out, but it soon got too painful to move. I saw several people in blue rush towards me, and behind them was another car. It was a red Cadillac, and the front of it was barely even dented. I saw a girl in it that looked familiar. She was arguing about something to an officer, angrily pointing to the dent on her car and stomping her feet. I couldn't hear a thing, and the people in blue were dragging me out of the car. I was turned around so that I was face-up, and I saw the clear blue sky. It was fuzzy because my glasses had broken and fallen from my face long ago, but I still saw the giant white cloud. I always liked clouds, and this one was he most beautiful one I had ever seen. I could only imagine what it must look like if I could see it clearly. My body felt numb now, but my thoughts were filled with images of clouds, angry faces, and tears. My eyes soon closed shut, my body losing consciousness, and the last thing I felt was my right hand clench a piece of paper.