Chasing Forever: Jacob's Story

Saying Goodbye

 I hold Chyenne, struggling to stop the tears from falling as she holds me tight, crying freely. We'd spent the past day in my room, refusing to talk to anybody except each other and now it seems that she's lost her confidence in saying goodbye.

 "Breathe, angel." I whisper against her neck, my head bent to hide the tears as they begin to flow freely. "I'll be home soon."

 She nods, trying to stop crying but it seems like she's only upsetting herself more. "I'm gonna miss you, J."

 "I'm gonna miss you too.." I say, my voice rough.

 She pulls away and wipes her eyes. "Promise you'll write?"

 "Every week, love." I promise, staring into her eyes.

 My mum walks up, hugging me tight, crying harder than Chyenne. "You be safe," She says pulling back to look at me. "You come back to us, you understand?"

 I nod. "Yes, ma'am." 

 She kisses my cheek and the second she pulls away from me Nichola jumps up, hugging me quickly. "Be safe, bubby. Don't get hurt."

 Ali walks over and I pick her up, kissing her on the cheek. "You listen to ma now, okay Ali?"

 "Where are you going Jake?" She says, staring at me, her wide eyes confused.

 "To a school." I say quietly. "So I can be big and strong."

 "Like grandpa?"

 Pop laughs and I smile. "Yeah Ali," I say kissing her again. "Like grandpa."

 "Okay!" She smiles her five year old smile and kisses me back. "I love you!"

 "I love you too."

 I put her down and I look at Chyenne and without speaking she steps forward, hugging me again. "I love you," She whispers, pressing against me. "I love you so much."

 "I love you too angel."

 Pop climbs onto his horse. "Jacob, the sun is almost above the trees. We need to be off."

 I nod and Chyenne kisses me hard, as if she needs it to be able to continue living. I understand the feeling completely. I need it too. When I pull away both of us have tears in our eyes. Hers fall first.

 "Bye, Jake..." She whispers.

 "Bye Chy.." I whisper back.

 My hand is in hers and I back up slowly, unwilling to let her go yet. I pause when the only parts touching are our fingertips and we stare at each other, blue eyes to hazel. We stare at the one thing neither of us can live without. Each other.

 After a second I turn and walk over to my horse, jumping on, and without a glance backward, take off after my grandfather who speeds off into the trees.

 I don't know if I'll be able to be whole until I'm back to her, I don't know if this will all be worth it, I don't know if I can do anything. But I do know one thing, as I follow him out of pack territory and towards the Legion Hall.

 I will come back for her.