Chasing Forever: Jacob's Story

The Legion

 Pop and I ride for hours without speaking, the sun beating relentlessly down on us. I grit my teeth, refusing to cry while resisting the urge to turn around and go back to Chyenne. I've committed. I have to stick to it.

 But it doesn't mean I have to like it. I remind myself. I'm doing this to make her proud. That's it.

 I think back to what my Pop told me, about The Legion being extremely dangerous, and I decide now is the time to find out as much as I can before we get there and I'm thrust into a potentially fatal environment.

 "Hey, Pop?" I say quietly, glancing over at him.

 "Yes?"

 "You were saying the other night that the Legion is dangerous.." I start slowly, trying to seem like I'm just curious. "Exactly how dangerous is it?"

 He looks at me for a moment before looking straight ahead again. "They will push you harder than you've ever been pushed Jacob. I saw many of my friends die from exposure during winter, or starvation when food gets scarce and we weren't allowed to eat. And many died in training."

 "During training?" I say, confused. Training is dangerous, yes, and I've broken quite a few bones since I was 8, but we all know to never use the death blow during training. "Training is harmless."

 Pop stops suddenly, forcing me to stop with him. "Do not go into this with an attitude like that Jacob. The Legion is dangerous. They allow death blows during training, they take it as a sign of weakness if you cannot defend yourself against an opponent. If you can't protect yourself enough to stay alive, they won't stop you from being killed."

 My heart beats furiously at his words. "But you, you never mentioned that!" I say, fear making me speak loudly. "If you had I would-"

 "Would you have chosen differently? Because I don't think you would have." Pop says, his voice deathly serious. "I think you would've chosen this anyway, if only to prove a point to your father."

 I open my mouth to protest, only to shut it when I realize he's right. I would've picked this anyway, so that I could prove to father I'm a capable replacement for Julius.

 Pop sighs. "Jacob, I love my son but he is very power orientated. He only cares about those who can add to his power. You aren't like that. You care about keeping people safe, about proving that you can protecting those you care about most. Don't waste your entire life trying to make Francis proud because I can promise you, nothing you do will be good enough for him. He won't be proud of you until you die doing something he sees as valuable to him."

 I blink and look away, tears in my eyes. Pop confirmed my fears of rejection by my father without even meaning to. "Ok.."

 Pop places his hand on my shoulder and when he speaks his voice is soft and kind. "Find a new reason for being here Jacob. There must be somebody else you want to make proud, somebody you want to prove you can protect."

 I nod. "There is." In my head I see Chyenne smiling at me from the lake, teasing me when she slips under the water.

 "Your mate?" Pop guesses, probably from the look on my face.

 I nod. "Yes, sir."

 He smiles. "Good. Now use that."

 I'm confused. "What do you mean?"

 "Let Chyenne be your strength during these next two years. You won't be allowed to see her, but maybe staying in contact through letters or the empathy link will help you remain strong for you. Let her help you get through the next two years."