Unwanted Alpha (Book 1 of Alpha Series)

Chapter 17

I opened my eyes a little while later to see that I was in an empty bed, and my heart ached and became filled with sadness and pain because I had no idea where my best friend was.

Even though a part of me was glad that she was gone...

I sat up in bed and looked this way and that, hoping that she was somewhere in my room even if she wasn't in bed with me.

But she was nowhere to be seen...

See? the stupid voice asked gleefully, and I knew that if it had a face, it would be sneering. She doesn't care about you. She never cared about you. If she did, then she would have stayed until you woke up from your nap and not left.

I laid back in my bed and bit back a small whine. Tears pricked the corners of my eyes, and my bottom lip quivered. I curled up into a small ball and bit back another small whine while tears started to stream down my face. But she does care, I said, my voice barely above a whisper. She does care...

The voice chuckled darkly and seemed to sneer. Are you sure? the voice asked. Are you sure that s-

There was a loud thud from the bathroom, interrupting the voice from saying something else, and I couldn't help but flinch while I closed my eyes and buried my face into my pillow to hide myself from whatever it was that made that noise. The sound of flushing filled the air before the sound of water started to fall from the sink in my bathroom.

I opened my eyes and sat up, and my heart skipped a beat before it started to pound harder and faster in my chest. "Sam?" I called out in desperation, and my hands started to shake while exhaustion and fear filled my body. "Sam, is that you?"

"No," the voice said, and my heart sank in my chest while sadness filled my body.

Oh...

"It's Bert." There was a pause and a small giggle before she turned off the water after she washed her hands. "Who else would it be, Tommy? It's not Dracula either."

I hopped out of bed and walked over to the bathroom door, not knowing why I had gotten out of bed. I had this urge to go over to her, even though I had no idea why I was doing it or what I wanted to do.

Lock her in the bathroom, the stupid voice said with a small sneer in its voice. Make her suffer in silence, and do not let anyone let her out of the bathroom, including your parents.

No, I said, my voice barely above a whisper. I can not do that to her. I-

The bathroom door opened, and Sam appeared in my face before I could lock my best friend into the bathroom. Her eyes were wide and filled with concern while she studied me. She didn't say a word and pushed me back just a bit so that she could exit the bathroom.

I let her push me back into the bedroom, and tears started to stream down my face. I didn't say a word while I looked at her, this beautiful girl, with a beautiful heart and soul, t-

You give her too much credit, Thomas, the stupid voice said, interrupting my thoughts, and I couldn't help but flinch and bite the inside of my lip. She is nothing, and the sooner that you can see that, the better it will be for you.

But what if it isn't? I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. What if not having her by my side isn't better for me?

Your pack would respect you, the voice said. You are an Alpha. You do not need a weak friend like her.

Sam pulled me into a hug and squeezed me tight, and I instantly hugged her back. I buried my face into her hair and bit back a small whine while my whole body shook with the sobs that wracked my body. "You are ok, Tommy," she said, her voice barely above a whisper while she rubbed my back. "You are ok."

"But I am not," I sobbed and grabbed her tighter. "I'm not ok. I can't s-" I started to choke just a tad because I was about to tell her about the voice that was in my head, but the voice stopped me, not liking it at all.

You are not allowed to talk about this, the stupid voice seethed and seemed to squeeze my throat. This will be the first warning that I will give you, and I hope that this will be the last. Is that understood?

"Tommy?" Sam asked and pulled away from me as soon as she heard me starting to choke. Her brows were furrowed, and she bit the inside of her lip while she looked at me. "Tommy, are you ok? What's wrong?"

I shook my head, and panic filled my body. I didn't say a word while I stared at her with wide eyes filled with pain and fear, gesturing toward my throat as if to say that I couldn't breathe. My heart pounded harder and faster in my chest, and it kept harder and harder to breathe with each second that passed.

I asked, is that understood? the voice asked again angrily, and I had a feeling that she narrowed her eyes. Answer me, Thomas, and then you will be able to breathe. Do you understand?

"Ok, ok, I will go ahead and get help. Just stay right there," Sam said and started to turn toward the door to get someone for me.

Yes, yes, I understand, I said, panicking ever so slightly. I will not tell anyone, especially Sam. Please...

The feeling disappeared as soon as I promised that I wouldn't tell anyone, and I could finally breathe.

I fell to the ground and placed my hand over my throat. "Sam," I said, my voice barely above a whisper before she could reach the door. I cleared my throat and licked my lips when my voice cracked. "Sam, stop, please. I am fine."

But she isn't...

Sam stopped going to the door and turned to look at me. Her eyes were wide and filled with fear and sadness while she studied me, trying to see if I was fine or not. "Are you sure, Tommy?" she asked, and I nodded.

"I am," I confirmed. I hesitated before I held my hand out to her, silently pleading for her to come over to me. "I am ok. Come here, please."

She narrowed her eyes and started to walk back over to me. Her whole body was tense, and tears pricked the corner of her eyes while she looked at me.

And this is who you want to be friends with? the voice asked with a sneer in its voice. She is a freak of nature and a crybaby. She isn't worthy to be your friend.

But she is... I silently told it while I waited for Sam to come over to me. She is worthy to be my friend and so much more...

Sam made it over to me and instantly pulled me into a hug, even though I didn't hug her back like I wanted to.

I couldn't...

"Are you sure that you are ok?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper, not caring that I wasn't hugging her back. "I don't mind getting someone to make sure that you are ok like your mom or dad."

"No," I said and shook my head, feeling numb. "You can go ahead and let me go, Sam. I don't need you here, so you can go, too."

"Are you sure?" Sam asked, but let me go like I had asked. She took a step back and furrowed her brows, biting the inside of her lip. "I don't mind staying a bit longer. I don't have anything else to do besides some homework."

I nodded, staying silent. My whole body shook, and tears pricked the corners of my eyes.

But I didn't let her see me cry some more...

Sam slowly nodded and pouted. A look of doubt appeared on her face, but I knew that she was going to leave. "Ok," she said, sounding doubtful while she studied me. "Then I will go ahead and go. I will check in on you later. Ok?"

I nodded, without saying a word.

"Then I will see you later."

And with that, and without a word between the two of us, she left, closing the door softly behind her, and I sank to my knees, curled into a tight ball, and cried.

Oh, Goddess, help me...