Unwanted Alpha (Book 1 of Alpha Series)

Chapter 15

I looked at Sam on our way home from school with her head on my shoulder. My heart grew warm and became filled with love and happiness, even though there was a twinge of disgust that I tried but failed to ignore.

Sam's eyes were closed, and it looked like she was slowly starting to fall asleep, relaxed and at peace with the world. Her breathing was even, and her heartbeat was slow and collected while she fell deeper asleep.

Wake her up, the stupid voice said with a small sneer in its voice. Wake her up and tell her to move away from you. She doesn't need to be lying on you like this.

But only her head is on my shoulder... I said softly, and my voice was barely above a whisper. I placed my head on hers and moved closer to her. My whole body was tense, and I couldn't help but grab her a little tighter than I would have liked.

My best friend stirred but didn't open her eyes or say a word. Her whole body was still relaxed, and it did not look like me squeezing her like this bothered her at all, which made me mad.

But I didn't want to act on it, even though the other part of me wanted to squeeze her harder to wake her up and shove her away from me...

I bit back a small whine and bit the inside of my lip, trying but failing to relax so that I wouldn't grab her just as tight and hurt her like I was doing now.

Finally, my best friend stirred and groaned while she started to stir and open her eyes. "Toooommmmyyyy," she groaned while she woke up, whining ever so slightly. She pouted and looked at me, slowly blinking with a small frown on her face. "Stop squeezing me so haaaaard." She wiggled around and bit back a small whine. "You're hurting meeeee."

Good, because your voice is annoying me, the voice said with a small sneer in its voice, and a part of me silently agreed with it. Now, shut up and leave us alone because she does not care about you at all.

But that is not true... I thought while I let go of Sam so that I wouldn't be grabbing her just as tight as I had been. I do not think that her voice is annoying...

"Sorry, Sam," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

Sam patted my arm and bit back a small smile. "I know," she said, even though I could hear a small trace of doubt in her voice. "I know that you didn't mean it."

"Is everything going ok back there?" Daddy asked and looked at us through the rearview mirror before he looked at the road. He started to tap on the steering wheel but didn't say another word while he continued to drive us home.

"Yes, Sir," we said in unison and nodded in confirmation, even though Sam had shifted away from me when she said that. "Everything is fine back here."

"Un huh," Daddy said and looked as if he didn't believe us. He looked at Sam, who had turned her face to the window and was watching the world as it passed by before he looked at the road.

"Sam..." I said, my voice barely above a whisper. My heart ached and became filled with pain and sadness. I balled my hands into fists and stared at her with a small frown on his face. "Please..."

Sam didn't say a word and didn't look toward me. Her whole body was relaxed, and she continued to look out the window, and my heart broke some more because I hated how she was ignoring me.

You shouldn't be sad that she is ignoring you, the voice said with a twinge of happiness in its voice. You should be happy because she is ignoring you and giving you the space that you so desperately want.

But I didn't want it...

My heart ached and became filled with pain and sadness. I hesitated and moved as close to her as I could before I rested my head on her shoulder. My whole body was tense, and I couldn't help but pray that Sam would let me do this even if she didn't want me to.

And thankfully she did...

Sam moved a hand through my hair, and I couldn't help but breathe a small sigh of relief when she did that, silently accepting my presence and the need for her to be near me.

"Thank you, Sam," I said, my voice barely above a whisper, and she patted my head in response. I closed my eyes and cleared my throat while I shifted in my seat. "I need you."

Sam didn't say a word and patted my head, silently telling me that she needed me too. She kept looking out the window as if it was the most interesting thing in the world, not saying a word to me.

Again, she moved her hand through my hair, and I couldn't help but close my eyes and let her do it, ignoring the bubbling feeling in my stomach and wishing it would go away because I did not want to act on it at all.

But it didn't disappear, no matter how much I wanted it to...

I closed my eyes tightly shut and bit the inside of my lip, trying to ignore the pain in my stomach. Tears streamed down my face, and I bit back a small whine.

Oh Goddess, help me, I silently prayed with a small whine in my voice, and my bottom lip quivered. I don't want to move away from her, but I don't want to feel this pain any longer.

"Tommy?" Sam asked, her voice barely above a whisper. She stopped moving a hand through my hair and patted my head. "Tommy, are you ok?"

"No," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "I am not ok."

Tears pricked the corner of my eyes and streamed down my face, and I couldn't help but sniffle while my bottom lip quivered. "I'm sorry, Sam," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "Please, forgive me."

Sam pressed a small kiss to my forehead and rubbed my head. "It's ok, Tommy," she said with a small hum in her voice while she tucked her head closer to her chest. "I understand."

She doesn't. She is lying to you, the stupid voice said and sneered. You should call her out on that.

No, I said, my voice barely above a whisper. I am not going to call her out on that, you stupid voice. She does understand. She wouldn't say that she did if she didn't.

I hesitated and licked my lips, and a wave of sadness and pain filled my body while doubt settled on me like a warm blanket. Would she..?

The voice chuckled coldly. She would. She would do it to make you happy and not hate her.

But I don't hate her, I said, my voice barely above a whisper while pain and sadness filled his voice. I can't hate her.

But you should. You should hate her because she is the cause of all of this pain that you are feeling. She is the cause of all of the annoyance that you are feeling. She is the cause of every bad feeling that you are feeling because she is nothing.

Oh, Goddess please don't let that be true, I silently prayed, whimpering while my heart broke into a million more pieces. I closed my eyes and tears started to stream down my face, and my bottom lip quivered while I set my jaw and sniffled.

Please, because I could not survive if what the stupid voice said was true...