Chapter 18

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There was a knock on my door a little while later and after that, the door opened before I could tell them to go away and leave me alone. I stirred a little from the nap that I was taking, biting back a small groan of sadness and pain.

"Tommy?" someone, Sam, asked her voice barely above a whisper, and my heart skipped a beat before it pounded hard and fast in my chest. "Tommy, are you ok now?"

I bit back a small groan of annoyance but didn't say a word while I furrowed my brows and wrinkled my nose. I didn't say a word and folded my arms across my chest. My heart ached and became filled with pain and grief, and it took all of my self-control not to whine out with that pain and grief I was feeling.

Sam started to walk over to me after she closed the door behind her, and she seemed to become hesitant about something while she did so. She didn't say a word while she continued to walk over to me, not picking up her pace or making it over to me quickly. Her whole body was tense, and I couldn't help but notice that she was nervous and scared.

She was nervous and scared of me...

I didn't say a word and took a deep breath, taking in her scent and ignoring the stupid voice when it sighed in annoyance. I also smelt something else, something delicious, and my stomach started to growl in hunger.

"I brought you some food. I didn't know if you were going to come down for dinner or not, so I wanted to make sure that you had eaten," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I'm sorry that I am in here again, but I wanted to make sure that you eat."

I didn't say a word and didn't look toward her. My stomach started to growl some more, and she couldn't help but chuckle when she heard it.

Sam walked the rest of the way over to me and placed the bowl down beside my head before she started to walk away from me. She did not say a word while she did that, and I had this feeling that she was about to leave.

"Stay," I said, my voice barely above a whisper when she reached the door and placed her hand on the doorknob. I closed my eyes tighter together and ignored the pain in my chest when the voice did something to me because it didn't like it that I asked her to stay and not leave. "Please, Sam. Stay."

Same hesitated and paused. She didn't say a word and didn't turn to look at me, and I had this feeling that she was waiting for me to do something or say something else.

However, I didn't; I couldn't because of the stupid voice taking control over my own voice and making me grow silent, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't say anything other than that.

Sam sighed and slowly nodded, and she turned to look at me. "Ok," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I am going to need to get something to eat, though. Is that ok?" She cocked her head to the side while she studied me, biting back a small frown even though I didn't look at her to see it.

I nodded and gritted my teeth together. I didn't say a word because I couldn't, and my throat seemed to close tighter together, and I started to have problems breathing, not knowing when I was going to be able to breathe next.

Tell her to leave, the stupid voice said with a sneer. You don't need her.

I do, too, I thought and bit the inside of my lip, gritting my teeth together. I squeezed my eyes shut and pulled myself into a tighter ball, not liking this at all. I need her like I need air to breathe...

Don't lie to yourself. You know that you don't.

"I'll be back," Sam promised while she tucked her head closer to her chest. She offered me a tight smile, even though I didn't see her smile at me before she opened the door and walked out of the room, closing the door after her with a small gentle click.

I took a deep breath and released it with a small whoosh as soon as she was gone, and my whole body started to relax and the voice seemed to relax its grip on my throat so that I could finally breathe.

Oh, thank Goddess...

I gulped and licked my lips before I sat up and rubbed my eyes, biting back a small groan of annoyance and pain. I opened my eyes and saw the food on the floor that was beside my head where Sam had left it, and my heart grew warm.

My stomach started to growl in hunger, but I didn't eat any of the food that was in front of me because I wanted to wait for Sam so that she could eat with me. I didn't want to be rude and not wait for her because I hoped that she would come back and eat with me.

You should just eat all of your food and lie about wanting to wait for her, the voice said. Sam isn't going to come back for you, so why do you want to wait for her to come back before you eat? You are hungry now.

Because she will come back to me, I said and bit the inside of my lip. I grabbed my legs and held onto them while I closed my eyes and waited for my best friend to come back, ignoring the hunger in my stomach. My heart squeezed and became filled with pain and sadness while I waited, growing afraid.

I highly doubt that she will be back, the voice said, sneering. Now, eat!

The voice seemed to be able to take control of my body, and I grabbed the bowl and started to eat the food that she had given me. Tears streamed down my face, and I continued to eat my food and started to sob because of it, especially since I wasn't able to stop.

Oh, Goddess, please help me, I silently prayed while I tried to stop eating my food but couldn't for some reason as if they were in control of my body and not me. Please, I don't want her to come back to see an empty bowl in my hands. Please.

There was a knock on the door, and I couldn't help but stop eating before I stared at the door, waiting for someone to open the door. My heart pounded harder and faster in my chest, and I continued to stare at the door while I waited for the person to open the door and come inside the room.

Finally, someone opened the door, and Sam entered the room with a bowl of food in her hands. She walked into my room and noticed the bowl of food in my hands before she looked me in the eyes. "I am happy that you have eaten," she said and gave me a cheeky grin on her face, even though concern filled her eyes. "Are you still hungry? Do you want more for food, or do you think that is enough?"

I shook my head without saying a word. My whole body grew tense, and tears pricked the corner of my eyes while I stared at her. Guilt filled my whole body, and my heart ached and became filled with pain and sadness, not knowing how she was going to react to this.

"Well, go ahead and continue to eat your food, Tommy," she said and gestured toward my half full bowl of food. "I don't know why you stopped eating. You didn't have to wait while I went to get food for myself."

I didn't say a word and shrugged, pressing my lips into a thin line. I started to eat again and watched as my best friend walked over to me.

My best friend bit back a small smile while she tucked her head closer to her chest. She didn't say a word while she sat down beside and started to eat her food. Her whole body was relaxed, and I couldn't help but look at her with wide eyes.

Sam paused and cocked her head to the side, furrowing her brows while she bit back a small frown. "What is it, Tommy?" she asked and studied me, and concern flashed through her eyes. "What's wrong? Are you ok?"

I shrugged and grimaced, pressing my lips into a thin line. "I don't know," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. I continued to eat my food, and my heart broke into a million pieces while I turned to look at my food, not able to look at her. "I hope that you can forgive me, though."

"For?"

I shrugged and grimaced without saying a word, and Sam sighed and shook her head. I looked at her before I looked at my food, ignoring the look on her face because I didn't know why I wanted her to forgive me.

All I wanted to do was make sure that she forgave me while we continued to eat in silence, but she never answered my question and only shrugged and grimaced while she continued to eat in silence...

Oh...

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⏰ Last updated: Aug 01 ⏰

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