When The Mob Villian Doesn't Want To Die

Notice + Apology + Hiatus

Hi guys. 

I am sorry for disappearing for so long. I really thought I could be able to deliver more chapters at the moment, especially because its a college break. But uh, things have kind of gone downhill for me.

I genuinely love this book. I love the world I created, the characters I created....and maybe that's the problem. 

It has come to my notice that I haven't being doing a great job at writing. It came from the realization that one of my important characters' characterization is literally shit. To be honest, it was a glaring issue but I just ignored it because I was confident that I will make it work somehow.

The problem is, I love this book and I may have taken this way too seriously. The novel started out as a mere pass time, because I was high on 'villain reincarnation bl' novels and I liked writing. But I never really planned the book, past that motivation. 

So when I was trying to fix this character, I realized just how....massive everything is. There are too many ideas, too much lore, and god knows how many plot holes. It is too much basically. I have also figured out that I am just incapable of fixing that character. Not to mention, I am just one person, who is trying to write, plan and edit this novel, so yeah, the massiveness of this project really hit me. 

The realization was hard on me. It was a massive hit at my self esteem and now, I am not that confident about writing anymore. Back when this happened, I kind of spiraled. I was frustrated, I hated everything about what I wrote and imagined. Thanks to some support I had, I didn't abandon the work immediately, like my upset heart told me to.

Instead, I held on and tried to work with the novel. But at the moment, I don't feel confident. I wish I didn't take this too seriously. Maybe if I didn't, this wouldn't have happened.

I want to say I am very sorry. Like, I said I won't abandon the work, but at the moment, I am very unsure. I don't want to abandon the work, but I am simply not confident that I will ever be able to write the novel and complete it as I wanted.

Of course, there are also IRL problems. I have exams after the break. Then my final year of college, which is going to be bad. And well, there are many things going on. So that is also a fear of mine...I am afraid if due to these other external factors, I will not be able to find the spark to write my novel again.

That's why I am thinking of taking a hiatus. Maybe with my mind relaxed and now under pressure, I would be able to plan my book a bit more, and find the inspiration I need.

I am also wondering on a rewrite. Maybe not the novel as a whole, but just changing things here and there. Or maybe a big rewrite, especially on the lore and stuff like that. It's just...too massive and I am just...tired.

I won't be deleting this book as a whole. At least not yet. I mean, in case the rewrite are too big, I will end up deleting the book as a whole. If not, I will just rewrite a lot of the chapters. If there is any other big change, then I will put up a message on discord or on my conversation board.

Another thing is, I am taking away the BL tag. Like I said, I am unconfident about writing my novel, and that includes the romance in the book. It has been weighing down on me a lot. I don't think I am capable of writing the romance I wanted. I know a lot of you liked that aspect of this book, so again, I am sorry. I am pretty upset too: I started this novel because of my love for 'villain reincarnation bl' novels, and BL has a pretty big part to play in my motivation and inspiration for this book. Maybe I would be able to deliver the romance I wanted without the whole BL tag weighing down on my head. But I am not sure anymore.

I also want to thank you all for accompanying this book till this moment. Your support has been vital for my writing. I am not going to give any false hope. I am still unsure about the book's future. Again, I am sorry for betraying your trust.

To all my readers, I can't thank you all enough. Thank you so much for you support. Your comments, love and votes have been so nice and it made me feel so happy and energized to write this book. Thank you, so, so much. Hopefully, if I manage to figure something out, this book will come back. But until then, I will be taking my mind off this book.

With Love,

Kunju (Nihil_Est_Scriptor)