I remember asking mom" is dad going to be here?"
"No"
The nurses had never seen me cry before. It was my birthday. For five years all I ever wanted for my birthday was to have dad visit me. I would never get my wish.
For the first time I felt the weight of something that I did not recognize a sense of hate. Towards me.
It was then that I started to feel that I was flawed. That I had done something so bad that made everyone that said they loved me cringe. I was to learn rather quickly that love really meant hate.
That I truly was alone. That this world was truely a very cold, empty place. A place that had no room for me. I found out that I was only good for one thing...someones fantasy.
I had just turned 3 years old today...Instead of me getting presents; I became the present.
" Listen to your elders!! Don't talk back!! Just do what your told!!"
I grew up learning it was a sin to talk back to an adult or disobey one, wether or not that adult was your parent. An offense to be punished quickly and severely.
I was an male nurses favourite child to sponge bathe...he made sure I was clean...over and over just to make sure no germs were...there.
Merry had a little Lamb its fleece was white as snow, the devil was
A man that you'd surley get to know,
Smiling a wicked smile with a twinkle in his eye,
Don't worry child I'll be your friend,
I would never hurt you...
Lies all Lies
Well ,there is one thing that I want you to do
It wont hurt, you'll see
With an evil laugh he just said
" trust me "
A
dalaine Skyye
YOU ARE READING
Random darkness
General Fiction*this story is very descriptive and may be considered triggering. Be in a safe frame of mind when reading* Thought wanderings of a depressed mess...No real rhyme or reason..insights about death, suicide, self injury, self hate,bullying, abuse. Allot...
