Random darkness

parents to you

Parents: hi dear how was your day?
You:it was OK
Parents : that's good dear.making your favorite for dinner spinach and liver.
You: I fucking HATE spinach and liver but dad likes it (this in your head of course not out loud)
You: ok mom gotta go do homework
Mom: ok sweaty..
You go to your room and cry for the next hour. Trying so hard not to use the razor blade. But it's no use you succumb and cut a bit.
At dinner: dad: damn woman this meal is to die for
Mom laughs
They talk among themselves forgetting the most important thing that will ever be in their lives os right there...YOU
You finish feeding the shit to the dog and ask to be excused fighting back tears.
Mom: yes dear oh you ate all good...well we won't keep yiu we know homework and all..

And you just wanted them for once to ask you anything not give you their random bullshit..again it's the same thing..you wonder what is wrong with me?am I really that bad?? As you make your way down the hall to your room you hear a faint "love you" this incites the tears you've been bravely holding in...
Running for your dresser drawer where the blade (or if ED to the toilet to throw up) is kept..you let all those pent up emotional lies you've been hearing all day...fat,ugly,no good,just die already, hate you, mistake and on and on finally meet with the only grace you have the blade to cut, the vomit you spew, the burn you know. ..and all the while those tears that never seem to cease from flowing...run down your face like hope runs from you..
If I could scream from the top of the roof " hey parents fucking listen to your kids, validate them..get off your fucked up life and know they need you..
But it would go unnoticed and we would once again be thrown into a looney bin...why..cause we spoke our mind..we spoke the truth
Adalaine /Stephen James /brian