Nobody knows how we feel or cries our tears that never end or knows our heart that never feels. ..all you and anybody sees is shit, me ...maybe so...idk im dead and I just don't care anymore..I want to go home...a place demons don't live, there aren't any tears and pain is non existant. Yeah I'm fucking "older" so what? Do my words sound fictitious or made up? No!! My hurt is as real as any of yours!! And it's not my fualt that the only ones who really are BRAVE enough or STRONG enough o voice those pains are teenagers going thru hell themselves. I CAN'T relate to adults their to fucking stupid to relate. Yeah I'm looked at like one but my mind is trapped in a teenager that so desperately needs understanding. I've never had a friend my own age!! Never! I relate so strongly to teenagers all my bestes friends have always been younger then me..
When raped at 6 then put in that God awful porn crap when 71/2 years old my mind stopped! I stopped maturing.why go on? Now I'm taking some college courses and trying to fit in...but how can one fit in with the mindset of a teenager stuck in this horrible ugly body of an adult (again throes up at the thought )
Adalaine, me, am 17 Stephen James is 18 brian is 7-10(22) years old somewhere in there .The body is an adult (gags and throws up at the thought again) We know it's probably really hard for anyone to grasp more then omg it's a fucking perv!!
Those we've talked with, those we've commented to on things you've written, do our words sound like a fucking freak piece of shit would say? Didn't think so.
Have tried so hard to be up front and honest with everyone..but the one time told someone age...we again were judged bad..so to anyone reading this we will NOT say a bodies age. Only Adalaine age Stephen James age we've been judged bad our whole life and it just hurts to damn much to be judged for something we have no control over. How many times you been judged by someone cause of stupid stuff they have no clue about or heard this" NO your to young you'd never understand" or " "not this time your to young maybe when your older" or "your just to young" I've heard the same shit just other way. "You should know better, why don't you grow the fuck up? "Same hurt jus differant asshole saying it.
Pleaze pleaze dont judge us on anything but US and we promise we won't judge you on anything but YOU!!Not some pathetic outdated bullshit number.
In many countries around the world younger and older learn from each other and respect the other. But not in this country older are seen as taskmaster and pedos looking for sick sick gratufication. I been hurt so bad cause of thT I could never and would never want to hurt someone that bad. I kniw first hand how badly that kind of sick fucks you up!! How many you girls lost your virginity to a sick fucking teacher when you were only 6 years old?? Well I fucking did..how many of you boys been fucked in the ass to many times to count starting when you were 7 then shut the hell up unless you been there. .I have demons few of you will ever know ( and I thank God every day that most of you don't know those kind!! cause I honestly and truly care about each of you)I relate so much to your pain and it makes me cry real tears and I do feel it and yeah I do take it kinda personally cause I know how hard it is, how stupid parents can be, how every bullies words hurt...I know how being invalidated every step is a struggle..and my only saving grace is the thought maybe just maybe a word I say to someone else will help them get thru another fucked up day..if I thought I was useless To others our life wouldn't be worth anything, I'd kill myself dead..
Only the thought maybe I did good for another keeps me alive one more day..
THANKS...ADALAINE,STEPHEN JAMES, brian
Why his name always in lower case letters? Cause me Adalaine and Stephen James are the predominately inheritant personalities..one last thing please don't think cause I'm a girl and Stephen a boy that I don't see things thru my eyes or vice versa..I love skirts, makeup I hate, I cry am very emotional, have a period, think I'm fat most times, l like girly things , am 100% female!! But when Stephen is oute he's a boy..he has a dick, he is stupid and all he thinks about is boy stuff mechanic things getting laid. Being stupid, his muscles, sports, getting wasted, muscle cars, being in a band someday, blah blah.
It's very difficult to grasp maybe yes we have multiple personality dx but that don't mean it's one personality made up into 7 (that's how many here) it's seven com Pl etly distinct and totally seperate personLities...we are so so so completely differant Sarah is only 11 Rebecka is 14 tho she thinks she older ha ha ..kinda maybe see? Yes I am the most dominant,Adalaine ,Stephen next Rebecka next then Elizabeth, korina,Rickie, brooke then emily and brian we don't count but he counts very very much.
Now if any want to unfollow us go ahead we don't fucking care!!! Just remember next time some ass judges you on shit maybe they don't understand, how you did to us...p.s. Sarah and korina are interwoven personalities how that works we have no clue just know it's what it is I guess like twins are interwoven..maybe idk
Adalaine Skyye
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Random darkness
General Fiction*this story is very descriptive and may be considered triggering. Be in a safe frame of mind when reading* Thought wanderings of a depressed mess...No real rhyme or reason..insights about death, suicide, self injury, self hate,bullying, abuse. Allot...
