Infatuated

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Convincing myself it’s just infatuation,
Yet here I write, full of dedication.
I keep writing, again and again,
Describing you as my perfect man.

Pages and words, they overflow,
With love I feel but cannot show.
Why do I do this? Why do I care?
Expressing my heart, though you're unaware.

I feel so much, yet it’s always the same,
Every time I adore, I play this game.
Pouring my effort into every line,
Just to feel safe, to call you mine.

“Im just infatuated,” I try to say,
But my poems betray me every day.
I gaslight myself, it’s just a phase,
Yet sparks fly when I utter your name.

I admire your charm, your silly ways,
Your goofy smiles that brighten my days.
But it’s just infatuation, nothing more,
A mantra I chant, but can't ignore.

I repeat the words to ease my mind,
But no true solace can I find.
For deep inside, my heart won’t quit
I can’t convince myself of it.

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