Little Tiger

PLEASE READ

Hi everyone!! It's been a long time, I know, and I'm sorry about that. I'm also sorry this isn't a new chapter I'm posting, but TRUST ME there is one in the making and once my finals are over it will hopefully be published. But we're not talking about Shigure and Koharu right now. 

Anyway, if you decided to click on this and read it, I just wanted to say thank you because I hope what I have to say might help you in some small way. NOW ON WITH IT! 

So, I began writing this story exactly two years ago today. It was just a Google Doc on my computer that was VERY poorly written haha, but we all have to start somewhere. But aside from the shitty plot, grammatical errors, and overall lack of story within the story, I was at a time in my life where I really needed something to focus on. And this was it. 

As I've said before, I would really like to be an author someday, and this was my starting point. It's a fan fiction, I know, and therefore ill-qualified to be a real novel, but, hey, I've written over four hundred pages worth of SOMETHING, right? That's more than I've ever done before! But that's still not the point of why I'm writing this. It feels very accomplishing and all, but...not the point. 

I started writing this story when I had come home from an awful year at a college that I really hated. I felt uncomfortable in my own skin, unlovable, confused, and just downright depressed. I didn't know where I was going with my future and I just felt stuck. So, what did I do? Ignored my problems and wrote a silly fan fiction instead. BUT this particular fan fiction contained a certain original character that I fell in love with: Miss Koharu. 

Koharu is me. Whether I meant to do it that way or not, she is a version of myself that was easiest to confront in this way. Writing her own internal monologue and struggles with love and friendship was therapeutic for me, and helped me to first, understand my emotions and second, let them go. 

I didn't realize this until just the other day, when I was thinking about how different my life has become in the two years I've been navigating my life. And, most interestingly, my writing has changed entirely in these two years. It's funny to imagine how I subconsciously saved Koharu from the original suffering I put her through just because my real life was evolving in similar ways. It makes her feel very human to me, like she wasn't just some silly character I made up for the sake of a story. 

This fan fiction is a time capsule of my life, and I think that's pretty cool. It's like a journal with a far more interesting plot! And, I think that's truly what writing is, yeah? 

Anyway, I think that's why I haven't been writing this story much recently, and I felt that I owed that explanation to all of you. I stopped needing to write because, well, my life is changing yet again. After two years at community college, I'm ready to try again at a four-year university, I've learned to quit my bad habits, I have a different attitude and zest for life that I severely lacked before, and I'm working up to dating my childhood best friend (dare I say we're Shigure and Koharu?). 

This doesn't mean I'm going to stop writing this story, but it does mean that I don't need it like I used to. It's still here, waiting for me, and I'm hoping to get back to it when I'm ready. 

I don't want to make you read this for too long, so I'll stop here, but I just want you all to know that writing is more helpful than you may realize. Make up a story and just write. See where it takes you, where it doesn't, and just follow along for the ride. It helped me more than I can say. I hope you are able to take something away from this, even if just anger that I STILL haven't posted a chapter. That's totally fine, I deserve it. 

But, seriously, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for reading my story. It has been a bright spot in my day for a long time. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it. And if you ever want to talk writing, ask for silly advice, or whatever else, I am right here. Thanks again, I love you all!