Complexity

kinda love her

After the moment that Xinyu came to do the class duty, I already wake up with a headphone to my head. As if someone let me wear it during I sleep. Why I awake? someone take off the headphone harshly to the point that my head also get pulled because of the action. Once I gather my soul, I realize it's them, those that want me to make their task for a whole school life or my life will be in misery.

They beat me to half death, stick cigarette butts to my skin, and every shitty thing they do just to let out their anger toward me. even some of their anger is not from me, but I just take it or I might actually die.

To be honest, I don't want to fight back. I just want to give up and let them. But then, that annoying voice of Xinyu taking over my head. It saying for me to not afraid, told me to find her or call her, basically all the ramble that Xinyu told to me, I heard it all in my head. As if my body only want her right now and the voice of her just give me the power to fight back.

"I rather die than see you guys again"

"then die"

and they lock this warehouse. When I ever say that no one have key here, now I know that they had it. because I don't have the key, that mean I can't go out from here. I will die here. No one know I'm here. No one care someone here. Stupid me also I didn't bring my phone here. If I have my phone right now, I can call her.

Xinyu...

The sky is getting darker and darker. I need to work. I need to go. But how?

Just then, I heard the door getting unlock.

"Why am I always the witness of you being a victim of bullying?"

Seo Dahyun...

"don't go to work today. your body just... full of wound"

"can you pay my family debt?" and she stay silence. She just gives me my bag and also the headphone that I wear which...

"it's not mine"

"Xinyu give it to you. Take it"

"Xinyu?" I just take it and left her.

Xinyu? What is wrong with her?

Because of what happen today, I waste my time to do my job and not get any sleep. If I sleep alone after those beaten by them, I will get a full nightmare and I will not wake up in time tomorrow. Even if I think to sleep at school, they will find me. those kind of thinking just came to my head and I don't even realize that it's already morning and I already at school. With the help of my coworker that he gave me ride to school.

I can't concentrate. I want to study before class, but the sleepiness takes my head. I want to sleep but I'm scared. I want someone to be next to me but I don't want anyone stranger. Just... Xinyu... I need her...

I realize I still have her headphone. So I decided to wear it and go to sleep. The headphone work as my coping mechanism of mine, as if it's Xinyu. Though the song that I listen is not even related to Xinyu at all, but it's Xinyu's. at least... I can be calm as save for a while.

Not even realizing that I sleep in a whole school day. No one woke me up, for the class or lunch time. They let me sleep. Or... I sleep deeply that no one can't woke me up even they already try to.

The first things that I saw when I open my eyes, was Xinyu that want to walk away after putting her jacket on me. if she says something, I can't hear anything because of this headphone. It's really soundproofed.

"Xinyu" I can't believe myself also why I call her either. She looks at me with that worry eyes. The light outside just cavitate her beauty even more and that is the moment when I realize that I trust her.

She then stretches out her hand while saying something. I can see it yet I can't read it. so I think that she is asking her headphone back so I just give it to her. you need to know that my face is getting red for no one know why.

"i... give it back..."

"I give it to you. You look like you need it" and she put it back to my hand. And she left me. before she really disappears from my vision, I can see her ear is getting red.

"is she also... getting embarrass?"

And it's getting raining outside. I forgot my umbrella, or I can say they steal my umbrella. Yet I can see Xinyu over there, waiting for the rain to stop? I don't know why I'm smiling. I end up killing my smile after I stand next to her.

"don't go to work for today" she knew?

"you need to take a rest for today. you still have those fresh wounds. And also... the teacher pair us as a partner for the presentation project next week... would you like to do work at my home?" I want to protest about her stopping me to working today.

But then she explains that she wants to be friend with me. nothing strange in her voice tone. No suspicious meaning. She also knows about my trauma yet she just says that she doesn't sure about it. when Dahyun gave me my bag, she said that she was there, listening everything. Now I understand why she know that I already working.

And she is asking for the chance to be my friend.

Since that day, I realize that my heart is not save around her.

I might be In love.

And I'm scared if I will lose her one day.