Complexity

We are safe

Sohyun POV

"you were not with Xinyu?" Yooyeon eonnie asking me while Seoyeon is feeding her.

"we just... argue a little."

"It's been months since I saw you guys separated. What happened?" Hayeon asksme.

It's actually almost everyone asking me. Because what Hayeon said is right. Since the day that I let Xinyu go into my life, none of us want to be separated. Either Xinyu will find me anyway or I will stay in her place till now. Either way, it's the same.

"Just a little argument." I don't really want to tell them what actually happened.

"Xinyu eonnie is asking why Sohyun eonnie never asks for help, and they argue. End of story," but of course I forgot. Lynn was there, and now she explains everything to everyone.

"I already told you to give her a chance. She is a good girl." Seoyeon tries to remind me of the convo that I and Seoyeon had in the library previously.

"I know, I know. It's just hard to believe that someone is willing to help me when I have never trusted anyone in my life. Not even my parents or my brother. I'm sorry, but you guys are also included. I can't never trust anyone. Just until Xinyu forces me to, I understand I need to trust someone. Even one person is enough. I just... realize it." I never want to spat everything out in this very fun day.

And I realize it because of the sudden silence. Like everyone are mute suddenly.

"I'm sorry."

I can see a grin, a smile, a smirk, and every kind of mouth gesture from everyone. Starting from Nakyung, Yubin, SeoAh, and Chaeyeon, they hug me and shake my body.

It's overwhelming, but I can hear every compliment from everyone.

"FINALLY SOHYUN TRUSTS US!"

"WE NEED TO CELEBRATE IT!"

"PARK SOHYUN!!!"

Every kind of compliment. I got it. It just feels... free. Suddenly.

After a while, I could see Sullin came to us with a bit of a hurry and some kind of panic in her face. She came to me and held my hand. I understand she can't speak Korean fluently, but I don't understand if she is only holding my hand.

"What is it?"

"Mother" who? Giselle? Haseul? Who?

"What do you mean?"

"Yours" and mine? What?

Wait...

"Is my mom here?" I asked her, and she nodded

How can she? How can she just spawn anywhere I am? Like she's just following me for every second.

"Where is she?"

"I don't know. I saw her in the entrance." If Sullin saw her in the entrance, she is probably already here. It's spacious here;she won't be able to find me in near time.

Not long after, Xinyu and Nien came with confusion on their faces. Either they are just talking about something they can't resolve or just something random that only they can understand. I saw them because of my habit of tilting my head back whenever I laugh. I saw them for a split second. Because I already saw her, I just gave her my everyday smile. She always saw that smile. When she is awake, when I help Handong with breakfast, when we crack the tension, every time. With my hand held out, she reached it.

Because Xinyu is already back here, I thought I should just brush away the argument that we had previously. I know I should not hold my trauma every time, but it will always trigger me anyway. That's why I'm acting a bit up when Xinyu asks about it. But I know I should not bring it when I'm around Xinyu. I can be fine with Xinyu around.

Just when Xinyu already takes my hand, I can see Hayeon and Jiwoo smirking, and I definitely know what is going on in their heads. It doesn't matter. What matters here is Xinyu is here.

"I'm sorry," she whispers, barely audible, but I can hear it anyway. I can hear that even for only a whisper, her voice is trembling. Her hand also. She is panicking. I never saw Xinyu like this. But instead of calming her down with words, I just tapped her palm twice.

I usually do that when she gets a nightmare or just simply can't answer the daily quiz.

The rhythm is telling her, "You're safe. I'm here."

Though Sullin said that my mom is here, I don't care. I feel safe with these dorks, with these students.

With Xinyu.