This May Take Some Time and Effort. [Fall Out Boy/Patrick Stump fanfiction]

Chapter Eleven-You Make Me Wanna Die

Chapter Eleven:You Make Me Wanna Die; I'll Never Be Good Enough

I open my eyes, and almost panic about being in a different room, until I remember last night. I feel a hand on my shoulder, and I jump.

"I'm sorry." Patrick says, quickly moving his hand away.

"No, it's fine-"

"No. I meant about last night. I...I don't know what I was thinking. I made you so uncomfortable that you left. I hate that."

"Patrick, it's okay." I say, sitting up. "You didn't know what you were doing."

"Yeah, but I shouldn't have gotten drunk in the first place. I should have known it would make you uncomfortable. I'm so, so sorry."

"Patrick. I forgive you. Just promise me you'll never do that again." I say, and he quickly nods, saying "I pinky promise."

"What did Andy do?" I ask, laughing.

"Oh, he doesn't know. I knew you wouldn't go there, because Joe was even more smashed than I was."

"Okay, good." I laugh, and we get up and walk out.

"Wait. Where are Tyler and Josh?" I ask.

"They went out for breakfast with Panic. I don't know how Brendon, Dallon, and Kenny aren't hungover, but they looked fine." he says, and I laugh.

"I love you so much." I say, and he takes my hand in his.

"Even with what I did last night?" he asks, opening the door to our room.

"Yeah. It shows you're human." I smile. We walk in, and he kisses my forehead. I jump back, much to his and my surprise. What the hell is wrong with me? Did last night really fuck me up that bad?

"Are you okay?" he asks, backing up. "What did I do?"

"Nothing, nothing. I...I don't even know what just happened. I'm sorry." I say, looking down.

"No, there's nothing to be sorry about. You...you had a rough night. I probably brought back memories that were buried for a reason. I understand if you don't want to be around me right now." he says, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

"I'm a terrible girlfriend." I sigh, flopping onto the bed.

"Why? You're an amazing girlfriend. I wouldn't want you to be anything but you." he says, sitting beside me.

"Patrick. I'm never going to be able to love you like you love me. I'm too...I'm too fucked up, okay? He screwed me up bad. And...I can't, okay? I just can't do anything right, Patrick!"

"Cor..." he says softly, taking my hand. "I don't care if you're not ready for that. I'm not either, to be honest. I just...I want you to be okay."

"That...that means a lot." I say, sitting up. I lean in to kiss him, but he pulls away.

----•Patrick's POV•----

"Patrick, I'm okay. See? No tears." she says, looking hurt.

"Cor, no. I...I don't want to hurt you any more than I already have. I don't want to scare you." I say.

"Patrick. I don't know what brings back memories. The only way I'll know is if it happens." she says. "And honestly...I can't remember how to forget."

"I know, but still! I'm still hurting you, and that makes me no better than your dad." I say, looking down at my feet.

"You always stop." she says, and I can tell she's close to crying because she thinks she's hurting me.

"What?" I say, but then I realize what she's talking about. "Well, yeah. I wouldn't hurt you like that."

"That's the point I'm trying to make here, stupid!" she says, exhasperated. "Patrick, you're way better than my dad just by being you. He was rough and abusive and he didn't care about me at all. You're...you're so sweet, kind, and you're so gentle, too. You take everything slow. You're not going to make me do anything I'm uncomfortable with. I know that. I trust you. I love you, Patrick! I've never loved anyone before. I know I'm awful at it, but...I'm trying."

"Cor, for the last time, you're not awful at being a girlfriend. You're everything I could ever ask for. But...I'm gonna screw up. And I'm afraid...I'm afraid I'm going to do something, and it'll send you over the edge." I sigh.

"Patrick. I know you're going to screw up and I don't care because I know you'll stop and you'll never do it again. I know you care about me."

"O-okay. I..." I start, but she rolls her eyes.

"Patrick. How many times do I have to tell you? You're fine. You're not going to screw me up. I feel safer than ever when I'm with you, got that?" she says sternly.

"Okay." I say.

"Good. Now back to kissing me." she says, and leans into me. This time, I kiss her back. We stay like that for a few minutes, her smiling into the kiss every now and then. Kissing Coraline always makes me feel different. It makes me feel like I'm doing something right for once, which is a feeling I don't have often.

I pull away, and she smiles.

"I love you." I say, and she says "Yeah, I guessed."

"Ah, sarcasm." I smile, and she giggles. It's time for us to leave for soundcheck, so I get up right as the guys knock on the door.

"Bye." I say, and kiss her forehead. "Get some sleep; the show tonight is seven to eleven."

"Ugh." she says, but then laughs. I grin, and walk out to meet the guys, being sure to lock the door behind me.

//AN//

btw I was re-reading ASOTM earlier bc I was bored and it gave me this idea so shoutout to ASOTM for destroying my soul

Are you guys loving this book? I hope you are, b/c I have worked my butt off I'm talking midnight-3 am writing sprees ok

I know the chapter title's from Make Me Wanna Die by The Pretty Reckless, but the song for this chapter is Training Wheels by Melanie Martinez