For The Love Of Oatmeal

Chapter 17~By the Grace of Oats

There, in the llama's hay, was Bob...who had just given birth. Wait, what? Okay, weird..now we're going to have little miniature Bobs everywhere. He weakly jumped over the fence clutching his side,  landing quite ungracefully on his rear. After crawling painfully towards Bob, he stroked his-er, her-fur with caution.

Just then, Tania came in, panting for breath.

"Toby? Where are you? Are you okay? Did you break our leg or something? I wouldn't be surprised. No offense, but you're kind of a weak-" just then she noticed the kittens. "Aw!! Bob had kittens again!" She opened the fence and bent down to stroke the little balls of fluff.

"Wait..you mean Bob has had kittens before? I thought Bob was a boy!"

"Nope. Well, I guess we should get going. I found the keys and Bob can take care of her own kitties."

Overcoming shock, Toby hunched over to the driver's seat...figuring Tania couldn't drive. He backed out of the barn and onto the desolate gravel road.

"Okay..which way to the nearest town?" He asked, looking  at Tania...who was eating oatmeal in the car. He was surprised how skinny she was for how much she ate.

"I'm pretty sure you go right." she said between mouthfuls. She was shoveling oatmeal into her eating hole faster than a pig can eat slop. Toby turned the truck to the right and they drove along the highway for about a half hour in silence. Suddenly, Toby broke it.

"Tania..why do you eat so much?"

"Excuse me? Did you just call me fat?"

"No..but you will be if you keep eating that way."

"Excuse me, but I'm not the one who can't even lift a pound. My muscles are healthy, unlike yours."

"Tania...you don't know anything. Unlike you, I was once a popular kid."

"What does THAT got to do with anything? Are you now calling me stupid AND fat?"

"Well if you want to put it that way."

"That's it. Let me out. I don't want to go to town with you, you..you big fat oatcake!"

"What does that even mean?"

She never answered. Tania jumped out of the moving car. Toby wondered how stupid she could really be.

"Tania!!" He screamed at the top of his lungs. The truck, which was barely going 40 miles per hour, screeched to a stop. He broke off the door and ran frantically over to the limp body on the side of the road, panting for breath.

"Tania! Tania? Talk to me! Are you okay?" Toby screamed in her ear as he checked for a pulse. Fortunately, she had landed in a grass ditch.

"How am I going to bring her to the car?" he wondered aloud. Tania was right. He was a weakling. But, he was still going to try.  Somehow, by the grace of oats, he lifted her.

Though she was still conscious, he lay her body in the back of the truck and covered it with a tarp. He figured he should probably just drive back, so he did a big u-turn. As he was driving back, he started to regret the things he had said to Tania..though they were a little true. He was within miles of the house..and it was already getting dark. His stomach grumbled at the thought of dinner.

At last, he pulled into the forested gravel drive. He lifted the tarp to see a very angry, monstrous face.

"Why did you throw me in the back?!" she nearly screamed. But when she tried to get up, she was too weak to stand. So, once again strengthened by oat magic, Toby carried her into the house. He swung open the door ready to throw Tania on the couch and flop down on the floor, but what he saw wasn't exactly what he expected. The house had been ransacked.