Crossroads

I remember

After a couple days of filming The Voice I finally got to rest and be at home.

We were done recording the Blinds and some interviews. The Battle Rounds were going to be recorded in two months.

And that's enough time to figure things out. Cause I don't know what to do or what to feel anymore. The guilt is eating me inside. I feel awfull.

Is it possible to love two men at the same time? There's no other explanation..

Matt has finally finished directing his movie. And we're going to have a lot of time to spend together.

He is such a good man..he doesn't deserve what I'm doing to him. I do love him. I really do. But right now my feelings are..unstable.

"Mom! We're here!"

Max shouted from downstairs.

"Comming honey!"

I went down stairs and found the two of them with a million of bags.

"Yes..we did some shopping"

Matt said laughing when he saw my surprised face.

"Uhm..What's all of this?!"

"Well..let's just say it's a surprise"

Matt glanced at Max and Max smirked.

"Really? You two are keeping secrets from me now?!"

I laughed..and then stopped as I noticed that I had said the most selfish thing. I'm the one keeping secrets.

"You'll see later"

Matt laughed.

"Is Max involved in this?!"

"Maybe... Don't be mad. Just remember I love his mummy very much"

I smiled and he leaned to give me a peck on the lips. And there it was. The butterflies feeling in my stomach..it's still there. Good to know.

"What are we having for lunch?!"

Max shouted excited.

"Chicken and pasta"

I said.

"Yummy!"

After eating, Max went to take a nap. He always does that after having lunch.

I was cleaning up the mess in the kitchen when my phone buzzed. It was a text from Matt. He's in this house..why is he texting me?

"Matt! You can just talk to me dummy!"

I shouted for him to hear me from where he was.

I opened his text.

Movie room. Now.😏

Ok..what is going on?

I walked to the movie room and when I opened the door my jaw fell to the floor.

Matt was standing in the middle of the room and there were candles everywhere and red roses on top of the piano. Two glasses of wine and my favourite japaneese snacks. It was all beautiful.

"Matty! Babe..what's all of this for?!"

"I'm sorry for not spending as much time with you this couple of weeks. But being away from you made me realize of how much I need you"

He said as he started walking towards me.
My heart just melted.

"Honey..it wasn't your fault. I've missed you so much too. And lot's of things have happened lately.. that made me realize..how important you are to me"

I cupped his face with my hands.

He looked at me in the eyes.
And then it hit me.
Those eyes..
The look on his eyes..I remember.
He gave me that exact same look the first time he was about to say what he's about to say now. Those three words that meant the world to me...

"I love you"

He whispered.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. Like I've never kissed him before.

After a coulple of seconds we separated our mouths to breathe.

"I never got to say thank you.."

He whispered. Our mouths still inches appart.

"You? For what baby?"

"For this. For giving me everything I ever wanted...a love that consumes me"

I felt tears in my eyes. Not only because no one had ever told me something like that, also because he trusts me with his life and I...I have broken that trust. And the worst part..he doesn't even know.

He wipped my tears from my face.

"God..how do you always find the perfect thing to say at the perfect moment? You make me cry!"

"It's a gift"

He said smirking.

"Shut up"

I chuckled placing my lips on his.

He grabbed both of my legs, one with each arm, to lift me up but we didn't stop kissing as I just placed my arms around his neck.

"We're taking this to the bedroom"

He said.

I laughed.

We made a quick stop on Max's room to check if he was still sleeping.

He was sleeping like a little baby.

"It's all clear"

He whispered smirking again. He continued carrying me on his arms until we got to the bedroom and then he threw me on the bed.

"Ouchh, not too sexy!"

I laughed as I fell on the bed and it actually hurt.

"I'm sorry!! Did I hurt you?"

He said laughing too.

"We'll try it again. It needs to be perfect"

He said.

"No! It's okay! Just.."

He lifted me up again making me giggle.

"Oh ok we are really doing it again"

I laughed as he layed me down on the bed with such tenderness now.

"Ok that was better..now come here"

I grabbed his shirt and pulled it up and threw it to the floor.

"I really missed you"

I whispered and then kissed him as I took his pants off.

"And I missed you too babe"

He slightly pulled my lingerie off and all my worries and stress simply vanished away the moment I felt his touch.

And this was real. The feelings were real. Now I know how I feel.