A Long Hard Fought Journey (Completed)

Chapter 29: Beating Cancer,Exhaustion,Sickness,and Where The Healing Begins

A/N: I added a song that I thought went with this chapter,it is called Healing Begins by Tenth Avenue North and from a movie called The Grace Card.Also this chapter will have 2 POV (point of view).Enjoy.

I still felt like literal crap and not any better not to include having the medicine coming into me from the IV made me feel tired and sick. I fell asleep as soon as I laid down in my bed. I was moved into the cancer ward not long ago.I was connected to this ginormous oxygen tank with oxygen nubbins since the mask was to big and I didn't need it breathing for me right now. Joseph was holding my hand rubbing his hand over it and he looked at it giving it a sympathetic smile and smiled at me . My hands were soft but now it is only the one because of the IV and the veins popping out,my hand was turning rough. I wasn't terminal that was luck and if it wouldn't have been for Joseph then I wouldn't be here fighting harder than I have ever in my life and in many years. I haven't even seen my baby boy once besides the pictures that Joseph took and showed me. He was precious and looked exactly like Joseph.I was on a waiting list for lungs and then there is always the risk that they reject me and I will be on oxygen for the rest of my life or that I die. When I woke up I instantly felt sick. Their was a bathroom connected to my hospital room. I pulled my nubbins off quick and grabbed the thing holding the IV up and ran although I wasn't supposed too. I made it just in time before getting sick. It was one of the side effects from the chemo. I had this awful bed head so I went to grab my hairbrush out of the bag that Noah had brought to us. I started brushing my hair getting through the tangles. When I thought I was done I pulled my brush away and when I looked at it. I almost burst out crying. Stuck in my hairbrush was ginormous clumps of my light blonde hair. I put my nubbins on and connected them to a portable tank that was sitting in my room.I went out of the room,although I probably wasn't supposed to nor was I probably supposed to be out of bed and walking. I went over and talked to Kate who was walking down the hall. I explained my dilemma. She said she had dealt with something like this before. Since Joseph was still asleep in my room we went somewhere else. She went to another room and grabbed a razor. She per my instructions cut my hair off. It was like a boys but with enough in the front the I still looked like a girl. Thanks,I said and went back to my room. But I turned around just before I left and said,"do you have something I can wear over it". Yeah,she said and so I picked out a purple scarf that she had and she tied it behind my head. I went back to my room and Joseph was awake. Hey,I said. He walked over,and said,"you cut your hair,lemme see it,I don't care because you are my wife and no matter what you will always be beautiful to me". He pulled the scarf off and said,"Izzie you look amazing". He then put the scarf back and we kissed. I laid back in bed. Even thinking about eating or drinking made me feel half sick but I did it anyway and  I kept it down. I have some of the worst scars from this long hard fighting journey and most of them were from internal injuries that had required surgery but I didn't let them bother me. I went through a week of chemo and on Sunday I would find out if the chemo worked or what the next step is. Most of my time after was spent sleeping and when I wasn't sleeping I was getting sick. It was Sunday afternoon and I had 2 hours before getting my results and I could feel it that I was slowly dying. It then crossed my mind that I never called anyone or informed them. I went onto Facebook and posted to all of my family and friends.

My post read: "Hi,Everyone,I wanted to let you know that I know I haven't been on here in a while,actually since my girls were born before the robbery,but I need to let you know and I regret to inform you that I have cancer.I had my baby. It all started after the car accident which most of you probably knew about from the news. The day after the accident I woke up late and was getting sick. I thought that it was my pregnancy but it wasn't. I had a fever and was sick all day. Late that night,we were in bed and I woke instantly feeling sick. I ran into our bathroom and started getting sick. I looked into the toilet and when I did it was not puke I saw it was blood. I sat back breathing heavy and Joseph had come running into the bathroom and as he went to say something I passed out. He had called Alexis and they rushed me to the hospital. We didn't have time to call anyone and it had slipped our minds. They informed us after several tests that I did in fact have cancer but it was two different types. I had Stage 2 Lung Cancer along with Stage 2 AML 7 which is a different rare type of leukemia. It scared us and they told us that that afternoon I would have a C-Section so I wouldn't die and none of it would harm the baby mostly the cancer and treatments. They had him in the NICU since he was born 3 months early. He is still in there and is only a week old. My girls have been staying with their uncle,grandparents,and great grandma which I am grateful for because I have been in extensive pain and do not want them seeing me like this.The next morning I was instantly brought into treatment. I have finished my first week of chemo. I am grateful that it wasn't any worse than it is and that Joseph is there supporting me through all of it. I have met some of the most people here. I hope to get a lung transplant and bone marrow soon after if the chemo didn't work. We are still looking for donors.We are hoping that it helped and I am always feeling sick and it feels as if I am slowly dying even though that I don't want to now because I have so much to live for and it makes the pain I endure seem worth it.Joseph and I are praying everyday,asking for strength to get through each day and to keep me alive. We are going to try to keep you updated. We can use your prayers today as today is not getting easy and we are both nervous about what the doctors are going to tell us. I get the results from my chemo today.Today is not going to be easy. If it didn't work until we get donors and I move up on the lists if I can't get a donor then they will keep me on chemo although each time it will get longer and the side effects ever so worse. I can only get 6 trials of chemo and after that is over and I am not any better and don't have a donor we will move onto radiation which we can only do so long and if it doesn't help and cure me and I don't have a donor then I will go home and slowly wait to die. I haven't been home in so long and I haven't seen my girls in so long. We are very quickly falling into debt with all of my treatments and such. We need your prayers everyday. Thank you all for your support and being there for us through all of it that we have been through ever since I was not even 14 yet. I will try to keep you posted in between my treatments."