A Long Hard Fought Journey (Completed)

Chapter 48: April's Dying and Finishing The Vows One Last Time

A/N: I added a song to this chapter and it is called Wide Awake by Katy Perry. Enjoy and sorry but once again this is a sad chapter.

           Carson's POV
I caught April as soon as she started to fall to the floor,losing consciousness slowly. I sat on my knees getting her settled bridal style in my arms and picked her up,the small red bag with her oxygen tank over my shoulder her IV Fluids resting on her abdomen. I stood up and started to run with a fading April in my arms. I ran to her room with everyone following me. Her siblings and aunt and uncle crowded into her small room but stayed back. They decided that they would say goodbye and then went to the waiting room to give us privacy. April is dying in my arms slowly. She is fading and soon will be gone and away from me. I wish that we weren't here right now with her dying. I can't imagine living without her and having to move on.She opened her eyes slowly about 15 minutes later. I knew this must be goodbye. This is going to be it and thinking about that makes me want to cry.She very weakly said,"say your vows to me I want to remember because I think this is goodbye although I don't want it to be because I love you and our daughter so much I can't imagine leaving  you both".I had hooked her to the thing that checks her pulse and hung her IV Fluids up on the stand not to include her oxygen tank sitting at our feet. Her voice is so low,weak and quiet that I could barely hear her. The beeps were slowing down and I knew there wasn't much time left. Slowly and softly, I said my vows," April Hope Stevens I have known since the day I met you that I loved you and you were my one true love the girl I should marry,that I was going to marry and you are beautiful and amazing and my sweet quiet fighter that has fought cancer, I will love you forever and always and I'm going to miss you". My voice broke a little on that last line and I almost cried but didn't cry because I know she wouldn't want to see it or hear it in her last few moments before death. With her eyes closed she smiled a small smile and she said quiet and softly that I could barely hear," I love you and forever and always,kiss it all better,kiss the pain away,I'm not ready to go,I didn't know that this was the end,it isn't your fault love you,just grant me one last wish". What is it,I said on the verge of crying. At least it isn't my fault and if it was she seemed to forgive me because she said it isn't my fault but maybe if I hadn't left her alone she wouldn't be here dying in my arms as we sit on her hospital bed.She said very weakly,eyes closed,"kiss me one last time and stay with me until I fall asleep and remember me and take care of our little girl for me". Alright I will,I said into her eyes that she has open for one moment. I kissed her and held her until she fell asleep.Slowly the beeps got slower and slower as her eyes slowly closed. Her last breath slipped over her lips.The beeps stopped as she flatlined. An alarm went off.The doctors ran in and tried a few things to bring her back none of these worked though I knew she was gone and she wasn't coming back,it's over. She was gone.I lost her.The whole reason I was living and breathing was gone. I started crying and crying. I remembered I'm not alone I have our baby girl. I hope I don't lose her too. I wouldn't be able to bear losing them both. I have our baby girl to remember her by. I remembered then that I had her necklace still and reached over and grabbed my wife's lifeless hand that was cold and had not a single hint of life in it. I was going to miss her so much. I retrieved her rings. I am going to put them on a chain and wear them. I will always have her with me. I can't believe she's gone. I'm going to remember even if she isn't here. All I have are memories to cherish and remember.I can't stop crying as I sat there next to her lifeless body that was deteriorated from cancer and the treatments. I will see you soon my dear as soon as our baby girl is grown up and I die too,I sobbed quietly.I laid next to her lifeless form that had no heartbeat and held her crying wishing she was here with me and that she can comfort me and reassure me.I didn't know it would hurt this bad. It felt as if I had a bullet in my heart and that the hole was getting bigger,she was gone and she isn't coming back,I can't bring her back,I wasn't prepared for this. I lost the one I loved the most. I lost the love of my life.