A Long Hard Fought Journey (Completed)

Chapter 31: New Beginnings and Panic Arising

  A/N: I added a song to go with this chapter and it is called My Immortal by Evanescence.Enjoy.

                                                                                    2 years later

Bailey was 2 years old now. My little girls Jenna and Mary-Kate have turned 6 and are now my little 1st graders. They go off to school every morning on the bus. Then it is just me and Bailey all day when I am off work other days he stays at home with Cassy who is glad to see him.My babies are growing up so fast. Joseph had started a new beginning with the fire department. He goes in at 4 each morning and comes home at 4 in the evening. That night we had kissed deeply. We were in privacy the kids were asleep in their own rooms.This is the first time we have done this since around 3 years.Today was the day that I work. Two years ago after I beat cancer I decided that I was going to work but not in pediatrics there are too many cancer patients and I got a promotion thanks to Alexis and Kate so I am now an ER nurse and it is working pretty well.I work with some of the best people and I take lunch with Kate and Alexis.I took a pregnancy test before I got ready. I got ready and heard the ding and looked at it. It read:+positive. I was pregnant with my 4th child and I was filled with joy and couldn't wait to tell Joseph and everyone else.I dropped Bailey and the girls off with Cassy. They ate breakfast with me and the girls would get on the bus and off the bus there where I would pick them up.I thought it was going to be a normal day. I went to work and was working. We then got the announcement to be ready outside. They informed us the ambulance called their ETA was 10 minutes. We got into our trauma gowns. There was a house fire this afternoon and they told us that the TFD was the first ones on the scene. A male firefighter was injured after getting a little girl out of the house as he was trying to protect her. The announcement of which fire department was and that it was a male didn't cross my mind.  The ambulance arrived and our team quickly ran him into an ER room pulling the privacy curtain around. The medics assisting helped us move him onto a gurney. We worked frantically. We were yelling things to one another.  We uncovered his face which had a few minor burns.We need to find out who he is,a girl from my staff said. I remembered what they told us about TFD arriving first on the scene and it was a male injured. I had panic arising in me. I looked at the man's face and then noticed that it was my husband. It was Joseph,It was Joseph,It was Joseph,I couldn't get the words in my brain. I told them his name and that he is my husband. I then got sick all over the floor. I ran away from that room just as soon as they had opened up the curtain to run him into the OR. I was crying so hard and could barely see where I was going. I was looking for Alexis or Kate. I got lucky. I ran right into Kate who seemingly had no idea why I was crying hysterically. I stuttered over the words. It's-------Joseph------A-------Fire------Injured------In------The----OR-----Now-----I Need--- I Need----Alexis,I said finally getting the words out to her. She hugged me and we were both crying. We both started running panicking,in a hurry to find Alexis.Neither one of us could see to well from crying so hard and I could barely breathe. People were staring but we didn't care. Finally,we found Alexis. What's wrong,she asked. Joseph,we said and it was all we could manage to get out. It seemed as if she instantly understood and we started running to the OR room he was in. We looked from the glass windows down on him and the doctors operating. Alexis and I were there and she started crying like me. We fell into each other,hugging each other,crying. We fell to our knees,crying and praying. We had called Cassy and Noah who said they will keep the kids overnight for as long as we need and that Nic will be coming by here soon and he will watch them for a while too.It wasn't a normal day at all. Why,why,why,that word kept repeating in my head. My hair was finally chin-length. Joseph is out of surgery and he is awake if you,I ran to him before the nurse could finish. I ran in there. Why,why,why did you scare me like that,I thought I lost you or that I was going to lose you,you have no idea you have never gone through that,I said upset.I shoved him pretty hard back against his bed. I ran out of his room and started crying hysterically. Alexis comforted me as I cried. Once I calmed down,I went back in his room. I told him,I'm sorry it is just that you scared me and I thought I was going to lose you and the panic and pain I have felt has been to real and I couldn't help it. It's alright just be more careful,he said.Then I noticed the cast around his leg and the sling on his arm. Also how is other arm was wrapped covering severe burns. His face had a few minor burns. His ribs and back were wrapped from where he got burned. He was going to be sore for quite some time.He dislocated his shoulder,broke his ankle and fractured his femur and had a minor concussion,along with burns some major and some minor. Thank god it wasn't any worse. I told Alexis that she can call Noah and he can bring the kids down to visit. Joseph was staying for a 2 weeks and once his shoulder his healed he can leave and will be on crutches.

                                                                            3 weeks later

Joseph was released from the hospital today. His shoulder and concussion is healed along with most of his burns. I told the head doctor,aka my boss,that I will be off for the next 3 weeks to take care of Joseph. Luckily she said that was fine and I would get paid too. We went home and I drove obviously. I picked up the kids and went home. I called a bunch of our friends and family that night inviting them over. Just that night I told everyone. I got everyone quiet telling them that I had an announcement. I let them know by saying,I want to tell you that I am pregnant for the first time in years. Everyone was excited and I had several people congratulate me. Joseph was excited. Another 3 weeks had passed,and Joseph was off his crutches. I was going to go to work in 2 days. Late at night the day after his appointment,we had an argument. I don't want you going back to work at TFD,I know you like it but I have nightmares every night,I am afraid to lose you,and your children need you,you getting hurt proves how dangerous it is,I said. You can't keep me from it and I know that I am a mechanic and all the things you are telling me but I can't,he said. Yes you can,I need you and you have no idea how it feels to lose someone close to you,I am terrified that I am going to lose you,every morning you would leave I was terrified something would happen I am terrified of losing you,I love you to much to lose you,and that is why I am so terrified of losing you,I said loudly almost yelling but not to loud not wanting to wake up the kids,on the verge of crying. I started to cry and I ran. I don't know where I was going just that I had to go somewhere away. I grabbed my keys,purse,and a change of clothes. I ran out of the house locking the door and got in my car. I drove off. I knew I was running from my problems but this was to much for me to handle. I rubbed my stomach,unless you knew I was pregnant you wouldn't be able to tell that I was. I parked my Green Subaru under a street light and laid my seat back. I fell asleep. Early the next morning I drove around and then I thought,Oh Crap. I had blue lights behind me. I am not even speeding. I pulled over and the officer came to my window. Hello,miss,what is your name,he asked. Izzie Paige Stevens,I answered terrified. He nodded waving behind him. Out came Joseph and he got out coming over to me. He opened my door. He hugged me and it felt good being hugged by him again. I am so sorry,Iz,I was being selfish and a jerk,you forgive me,he asked. I nodded. He climbed in,thanking the officer. I was still quiet the whole ride home and literally about to cry. What is wrong,he asked when we pulled in. You still have that dangerous job and I know you love it and I am trying to be supportive but it is hard,you have no idea what was going to my mind when I thought I lost you and when I thought I was going to lose you,I said upset still slightly mad. I know,he said. No you don't you have no idea,I said. Yes I do I was the same way when we were young and all that crap happened to you,I felt terrible and petrified,he answered. I know I am sorry I didn't mean that I just can't lose you,I am being selfish,I said starting to cry. No your not and everyday I have worried about you and I have been thinking about quitting because I haven't been fair to you at all,he said. You mean it,I sobbed out with my head in my hands. Yes I do I have talked to my old boss and he agreed to give me my job back since I am the best worker,he said lifting my head up in his hands and kissing my forehead. I stopped crying. I had to call Alexis last night and a bunch of other people when you ran off and were missing,and we sent out a search party and then I called the police and that was how we found you this morning,Alexis and Kate have been watching the kids,he said. I know I'm sorry I was upset and stressed and I needed to calm down and it wasn't good for the baby,by the way I slept in here last night,I said. I noticed,he said pointing to my pajamas that I still had on. We went inside holding onto each other like we were young again. Izzie,they shouted as the kids shouted,mommy. I hugged them all and even though I wasn't supposed to I picked up Bailey and hugged him. Joseph did quit and went back to his old job in the same position.