What's Wrong With the World? (A Book of Angry Rants)

A Disgrace to the Horror Genre

The Prophecy, 1995

So yesterday I was on Netflix, looking for a good horror movie to watch and I came upon The Prophecy. I saw the words: dark angel in the synopsis and I instantly was interested.

No. Just no. This movie was an atrocity. I'm not a film critic, so I usually don't rant about these things. But this movie was just so bad that I must rant about it because I am so urked that this movie was made and that it has the nerve to call itself horror.

I am a huge fan of horror films, I think that they're amazingly cinematic and enjoyable. If you say horror movies are stupid, you're just scared to watch them. Sorry, not sorry for pointing out the truth.

But this movie was just disgusting. And not like gory disgusting, which honestly would've been more fun to watch than whatever the fuck this was.

The Prophecy is simply a strange, religious cult movie about dark angels. It was not scary whatsoever and the effects were absolutely terrible.

The Exorcist was made in 1973 and is extremely terrifying, so it isn't the old age of the movie that gives it terrible effects.

I believe it was just pure laziness.

The first ten minutes of the film is pure exposition. This would be fine if the blandness of it didn't make me want to kill myself.

However, 15 minutes into the film, one of Gabriel's (one of the dark angels who pissed me off, honestly fuck him his presence was so unessecary and irritating) accomplices dies a violent death of struggle against Simon.
(another one of the dark angels, he's annoying and creepy af)

So Simon kills this guy and his body is taken to the morgue. They look at the body closely and show the fullness of it on screen. The scene is a lot like Silence of the Lambs, where a young husky girl's body is being examined for a police case. But at least her body looked real. This body was fake af and was just odd to look at.

Of course the movie has a freaking happy ending and lags on for another half hour because nobody would see the obvious solution to their problem.

A little girl has a soul inside of her that Simon placed there. So Gabriel wants to get it out of her so he can open the gates of heaven.

But everyone freaks the fuck out and is like: YOU CAN'T HAVE HERRRR!!

What these stupid characters don't realize is that Gabriel is the good guy, he just has a scary dispostion. Everyone in that movie is dumb af and none of the characters had any redeeming qualities whatsoever.

People always tell me that all the characters in horror movies are stupid. If you saw this movie, then I actually get where your coming from.

If this is the first horror movie that I saw, it would ruin the beautiful horror genre for me because of how disgraceful it is.

There are many sequels to this movie, probably a lot more shitty than the first and I just don't get why people keep watching them.

If you are looking for a good horror movie on Netflix, try The Babadook. Do not watch The Prophecy, it's the worst thing I have ever seen.