Fix Me | L.H

"I want you."

I never thought there would be a day where I would carry around a boys shirt in my bag. Nor did I expect to ever find one inside my room.

Yet here I was, clutching my bag tightly around school, trying to find the owner of the soft black shirt that was left on my bedroom floor.

The shirt that smelled of peppermint and honey.

I had no idea how it got there.

There was something bigger that was worrying me. Luke hadn't been there this morning and didn't offer me a ride to school like he always does.

I wondered if he felt awkward now that he basically told me his worst fear.

I had a desperate need to make him feel like he wasnt alone. Or maybe I was doing it for my own selfishness.

After several trips up and down the stairs, I finally gave up and instead decided to wait in class for him.

The room was empty which made me feel embarrassed. I stared at the clock, only 3 minutes till the bell rang.

I opened my school bag and touched the soft cloth of the black shirt.

Something warm, filled my insides and then my cheeks flushed.

Just as I was beginning to rehearse what I would ask him, the bell rang.

Within a couple of minutes, little by little, the seats started to fill up in the class.

Except Luke wasn't here.

I wondered if something was truly wrong and if maybe I should call him. I do have his number after all.

Just as I pick up my phone, the seat besides me shifts and a blond boy plops down on his seat.

The boy who smells like mint and honey. The boy who is now staring at me intently with his green mesmerizing eyes.

In that brief moment, my smile widens.

It feels like second nature to my face.

Except, he doesn't do the same. Instead, his eyebrows crease as he frowns.

I was going to ask what was wrong but I can't speak. Im afraid of what i'll hear. I don't want to push anything on him.

"I have to stop seeing you." He whispers. he bites his lip ring harshly.

Ans this is one of those moments for me where I am confused and hurt at the same time. where I don't know if I should speak or ignore. A moment where the shift between happiness and hurt, really is painful.

"WHAT?" is all I manage.

Gisselle, like always is smirking, and I never thought myself capable of imagining my fist against her face. About how well a black eye would look on her.

My head feels clouded as I stare blankly at him. And then he turns, blinking fast and nodding to himself.

"I Don't want to...I can't see you." He finishes.

I never thought is was possible to feel like this. My chest feels like it is concaving, leaving little oxygen in me. The worst part is that I don't want to feel like this, and I don't know why I'm feeling like this.

"It isn't good." He doesn't look at me. "I know you despise me, so ill do you a favor and ask for a new partner tomorrow. I'll even move classes."

He doesn't speak after that and neither do I.

Im still confused as I clutch his soft shirt inside of my bag.

I look down because I dont want him to see the hurt in my eyes.