Fix Me | L.H

Continuation of part.2 (clean)

All of a sudden, his soft hands turned hard on my hips as he turns me over so that he was on top.

He looks at me and scans over my body again. "I cant." He says.

His brows are furrowed, and he sighs again.

My cheeks get red, and I'm embarrassed.

Of course, how could someone like Luke ever want me?

I feel so exposed and just ashamed.

"Hold on." He says.

To make things worse, he leaves me on the bed and goes inside the restroom.

The warmth that I had felt just seconds ago, was gone. I t4ry to cover my chest with my thin arms. I should have known.

I put my face in my hands as I fought back tears that were brimming in my eyes.

I should have never exposed myself like that, I shouldn't think of him that way, I have no chance.

Its wrong. But as much as I told myself it was wrong, the less I convinced myself. Its like when you know you cant have something, and that just makes you want it even more than you did from the start.

I sniffle, realizing that a tear has made its way down my cheek, leaving a hot trail of wetness.

I lay there for what seems like forever, feeling so ashamed and finally decide that I would have some dignity and leave.

I gather my clothes and wipe away the tear that has fallen.

Before I succeed at leaving and taking with me the pile of clothes I had, he comes out again, in another pair of boxers.

His face falls when he sees me and rushes towards me. "Whats wrong?" He questions.

I shake my head, "Nothing. I just-" I can't finish so I stand there, looking at his wary expression.

I feel like Im talking to a different Luke than yesterday. This  one is sweet and caring.

Except Im starting to think that all he wants is to play with my feelings. He doesn't want me. How could he?

"Aubri, talk to me." He whispers, taking a step closer.

I retrieve, not wanting to fall into weakness. Because thats what always seems to happen when Im around him.

I look down at me feet and have a battle within me.

"You don't want me." I whisper. My voice cracks and its because I cant help how pathetic I feel. "Im not good enough."

He sighs. I feel his soft hand under my chin as he  lifts it, hazel brown eyes meet green. Its as if he's trying to caress a feather, trying not to damage it. "Never, ever-." He sighs, closing his eyes. The look of anger on his face scares me, making me regret what came out of my mouth. "Say that." He opens his eyes, the moon coming from his window makes them look almost black. "You are too good. You are so pure and beautiful. You are amazing and I don't want to destroy that." His expression falters. "And its because it is me who is not good enough, because I am so fucked up, because I am garbage. Its not you. I want you. But I cant mare your pureness with the darkness that I am."

I shift my gaze to him, clutching my clothes closer to my body to try and make myself feel something else than the melting of my heart.

He was good enough though, I looked at him and all I saw was a human, broken, and amazing and anything other than evil.

I know I try to convince myself that he is evil, and its mostly because I dont want to fall.

"Please stay." He whispers, dropping his hand to his side.

I am left speechless. If I stay, I wont ever be able to leave. That would be dangerous, a death sentence. Would it be any better if I left and all of me would sty with him?

Finally, I nod, dropping my clothes on the ground.

His eyes scan over my body and instantly, my cheeks heat up again.

He rushes to the side of the bed and grabs his black t-shirt, handing it to me.

"Please put this on, or I wont be able to resist myself." He says.

I grab the shirt and throw it over myself quickly. God knows that I don't want him to resist himself. If it were for me, I would throw myself on the bed and open my arms, giving him access to all of me. Even if it were against my believes, even if it were against my better judgment.

His eyes are suddenly twinkling as he looks at me in his shirt.

He smiles and walks over to the other side of the mattress, laying down. "You are so beautiful." He says to himself, closing his eyes.

I smile.

 I smile, because he is so sweet. And for the first time, I actually feel beautiful. I shouldn't need anyone to believe it, I shouldn't even care, but words are also a powerful things. Words can stop wars, although they can also start one.

I shake my head, and sit down on the mattress. I feel uncomfortable in my underwear.

"I forgot." He suddenly says, getting up and walking over to his dresser.

He takes out another pair of boxers and hands them to me smugly.

My cheeks redden as I take them and walk over to the restroom. "Thank you."

I take off my panties and quickly put on his american apparel boxers.

I walk out, to find Luke on his side, eyes closed and all.

My stomach flutters, and there's no denying it. I feel something. Whatever it is, but I do.

I lay down next to him, shifting to my side and I wonder why Im here. But when a pair of strong arms slide across my waist and hold me close to him, I no longer wonder.

I cant help the smile that spreads across my face.

"Your perfect." He whispers. "And Im a mess."

I cant help but disagree. His voice is sleepy and warm.

"And thats why your perfect." I whisper back.

My eyes are heavy with sleep.

Luke, is my last thought.

******

A/N:

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