Lost Without You (A Team Starkid Fanfic)

Chapter 5

I don't own tEAM sTARKID or their workz.

Normal POV

I thought about my new friends. Devin had quickly become my sister, enough said there. Julia was great for keeping our heads screwed on properly and was super supportive. Meredith was just so fun to be around and was so positive. Jaime was super comforting and so empathetic to me. Lauren was hilarious and a friend I definitely needed. A.J. quickly became somewhat like a brother to me. Brian was a guy who I was good friends with, which for me was a good improvement. Moses was actually a great person to make me laugh. Walker had a great personality and just made me want to have fun. Jim was a comfortable person, so to speak. Matt was a smart guy who actually had a great personality even if he was too shy to show it often. Dylan just made everyone feel good about themselves and everything going on. I appreciated that. Darren was just so chill and he infectiously made everyone happy.

Then there was Joey. He was so easy to be around and his laugh was so infectious. He just made me feel so good inside. I loved to hang out with him and it was great. But, I barely knew him. I needed more time.

I open the door to my dorm and chuck my bag on my bed. Devin was comfortably lounging around on her bed doing homework on her laptop. She glanced up as I rifled through my clothes for something that wasn't sweaty. In silence, I lock the door to the bathroom and get in the shower. We were fortunate enough to not have to share the dorm bathroom. I quickly shampoo and clean my body, wrapped in thoughts of my friends, especially Joey. I step out of the shower and throw on clothes. I walk out in ripped jean shorts and a Wolverines sweatshirt. I flop on by bed and released an audible sigh.

Devin looks over then comes over and sits on my bed next to me. "You look like you're a bomb of sadness, confusion, frustration, and anger about to explode." I lean against her. "Boys?" I nod. "More specifically: a certain Joseph Michael Richter?" I nod against her shoulder.

"It's just... I feel something when I'm with him. I don't know what. It feels good but I'm not sure what type of good."

Devin starts petting my hair. "I understand. Just let things happen, things will settle into place and what's meant to happen will."

I nod, a few stray tears dripped down my face. "I'm also conflicted because I don't really feel good enough about myself yet to really be in a relationship. Hell, I don't really have faith in any sort of relationship in general." I pull away from Devin and lay back on my pillow, letting tears freely flow.

"Charlotte..." Devin puts her hand on my leg to soothe/ comfort me.

"Throughout my life, I always had difficulty with people. I was more of a loner because people just thought I was too quiet to have fun. Then someone who I completely trusted and could enjoy myself around was taken from me. Then someone who I thought could be trusted and I could be so happy with for a while was just the exact opposite. Other people were just f***ing b*tches so I realized I wasn't going to do well on the social scene. Then. THEN my parents were complete a** holes and blew me off. They were supposed to be supportive and the people who were always there. They were supposed to be my f***ing parents. The whole summer I struggled with what I thought was my reality: not being able to trust or care for people. I shut everyone out and my feelings in. It was horrible. Then I came here and I'm struggling a bit because I want to love everyone I meet here but I'm afraid. Fine. I'm f***ing terrified." I can't help it as I start sobbing and breathing heavily.

Devin seemed taken aback, but went in for a hug. She struggled to find the right words. "Char, look at me. I can't pretend that I completely understand what you've been through, but I understand what it's like to need to rely on someone. I'm here to be relied on. Let's start with that. Can you trust me?" I nod as I look into her dark eyes. "Good. Now I'm going to call Lauren and tell her and Julia to come here with food. Is that okay?"