Deck of Cards

Day 27- Sally

Jack of hearts- looking after the hounds for 4hrs

Sally's POV

It was the last Jack and I was getting a bit sentimental. The hounds were so loveable despite their harsh appearance. It was a sad thing to see a heart on the card, it meant a very short amount of time with the beautiful beasts. It also meant a day of boredum because when the activities weren't taking place there was nothing to do except stare at a wall and think of happy thoughts. Happy thoughts were difficult to think of when so much bad surrounded you.

The idea of killing someone was still fresh in my mind from the girl's discussion; they had acted so nonchalant about the whole thing. It was almost like they weren't agreeing to take another person's life. I suppose they didn't have my moral dilemma, at least they weren't manically in love with their victim. I decided that instead of dodging the question and trying to see past it I would confront it. More like confront him.

I let him take me to my task which was over before it had really begun. Running towards me, the loveable hounds brushed their bodies against mine as if they knew this would be our last time together. The dogs slobbered all over me, leaving me a sticky but happy mess. My cheeks began to hurt because I was smiling too much. Four hours isn't that long when you have fun, in fact it's no time at all.

To think I was scared of them at the start, and saw them as the bad guys. I saw them as more horrible than the guards which was a massive misconception. The dogs were like angels sent from heaven.

The looming task awaited me the minute that the time was up, I was going to ask my guard about well.. us. The imaginary relationship which I had concocted in my head. All the signs, mixed signals- everything had me confused.

We walked back to my cell in silence as always, he never made an effort to talk to me and I was always too nervous to open my mouth. When I was 'safely' behind my bars (like some caged animal) he faced me, waiting to see if I needed anything. Usually I just shook my head but that day I took a deep breath and decided my mind needed cleansing. I needed to know, I was done with all the puzzles and guessing games.

"Do you love me?" I blurted out, only realising how crazy I sounded after. Mentally kicking myself, I didn't even want to look up at him for a reaction. I heard him gulp slightly, it was more of an awkward noise than a scared one.

"Look Sally," my heart broke at that very minute because nothing good ever follows 'look..', "you're a great girl but this will never work. I'm sorry if you have been reading my actions wrong. I am just your guard."

He stood there waiting for an answer but all I mustered out was an 'ok'. Trudging off, I could tell that things could never be the same, he would ask to be someone else's guard. I couldn't stand to stare at him every day and know that I had no chance with him, no chance at fulfilling the future which I had meticulously planned.

Waiting till he was fully gone, I choked out a sob which lead to a full on bawling session. The tears kept coming, every experience they put me through, all the pain- it all came out. Afterwards, I felt stronger but my heart felt heavy, it was like someone had filled it with lead. It was my first full heartbreak, I realised that every other stupid teenage relationship I had been in meant nothing because I had never been that hurt before. Never that vulnerable.

'At least it makes it easier to do the deed,' I thought to myself but I knew that no matter what I did now, I couldn't get him into my cell. Not with the seducing tactics that Ava had talked about. I would have to be creative. Maybe I could convince him that there was a hole in the wall? Or that I was hurt? Sighing I threw myself to the floor, I was a terrible actor. They would all escape and I would be left in hell; they would be free whereas I would be trapped and taking the brunt of their torture.

All I wanted was to feel the wind around me, whipping my hair into a frenzy and turning my cheeks a ruddy red. I wanted to breathe in the fragrant smell of grass, of flowers, of everything. Even if it meant doing the absolute lowest of the low, I vowed to make sure that I was in the group that escaped. I would beat the system. I would win the game.

It sounded so easy in my head.