Let's Live, Not Survive.

But Who's Going to Save Me? III

~Gumballs POV~

I hate caring about him. I hate having to put how he feels above me. I hate the fact no matter how much I like him...

He can't return the feelings.

Maybe it's just not meant to be. I mean... Really. Two guys? Ha. Funny.

I walked to the mysterious vampire King, sitting against the wall of the hospital. Everyone else continued celebrating the glorious rescue of our dear Fionna.

His red orbs stared off in the distance, with a weird sense of emptiness. His arms folded across his chest as it softly rose and fell. His darkened hair swaying slightly in the impending fall breeze. The long slender legs of the king where crossed over each other.

Between his lips was a cigarette, white smoke puffing out of his mouth occasionally.

Man, he must really be in thought. He never smokes around us.

I took a seat beside him, my eyes searching in the same direction as his own. Looking for a way to speak up I suppose. Digging around for away to talk go him.

"Hey Gumball."

My head turned slowly to look at him, only for him to not be doing the same. His vision remaining locked on the great beyond.

"Is there uh... Something bothering you, Marshall Lee?" My small voice almost whispered to the pale man beside me.

No response. Just a blank stare, not even at me. More smoke puffed from his cigarette.

"Look, just because I am smart, doesn't mean I know everything Marshall. If something is wrong, you have to tell me. I can't read minds and-"

"This wouldn't have happened if it weren't for me." Marshall interjected, letting his head look at his lap now, ashes falling and landing beside him.

Oh, now I understand. "Marshall, this is not your fault. You... Can't control who you have feelings for. How where you to know she would do this?"

His chest locked up for a moment before a heavy sigh escaped it. Finally, he turned to me and gave me his attention that I so desperetly wanted.

"You just don't get it, do you Gumball?"
I raised my eyebrows in confusion. What was there to really get?

"I am doomed to not have anyone else. If I try, Ashley will kill them. I can't let that happen. I'm not strong enough to stop her from what she does. I have no control over her... I never have. She can have as many boyfriends as she wants but if I show interest in anyone, It's like digging there grave."
He flipped his hair and pressed his palms into his eyes.
"I didn't even like Fionna! Yet, here we are, her lying in a hospital bed, after a miraculous rescue. I am permenetly stuck under this... This... Curse!"

His body began to tremble. Fear or just emotion in general.

Wrapping my arms around him, I began to comfort him the only way I know how to.

But the weirdest thing? He isn't resisting. Instead, he's leaning back into me, giving me the chance to show him everything will be ok.

He isn't crying I don't think, but my hand found it's place in his sloppy hair as I began storking it, whispering safe words to him such as 'It'll be ok.' And 'We'll fix this.'.

Why I used 'we', I'm not sure. But now I get it.

"And you see Gumball, that is why I can't be with you. I can't let you get hurt. I can't let you die."

The words hit me with such a force that I had to shut my eyes tightly to keep me from having my own mental breakdown... Again. I breathed slowly, thinking this through.

My eyes shot back open as I grabbed the sides of Marshalls face, noticing the cigarette had fallen to the ground and was extinguished. I lifted his pale, godly face equal to my own and

~Marshalls POV~

He held eye contact with me. I tried to look away, ashamed of my self. I may be an asshole, but I can not stand breaking someones heart. I know how it feels, yet I have to turn around and do it to him. And honestly, that's one of the worst feelings in the world.

His purplish-blue eyes met my own red ones which I'm sure where pretty bloodshot from the amount of pressure my hands put on them.

I grabbed his wrists with both of my hands, holding on for what felt like my own miserable life. I'm losing my grip on reality. It feels like I can't control myself anymore.

I felt the first warm tear glide down my cool cheek, and the overwhelming sense of lost took over as multiple began to fall, but not once did I break eye contact, nor did he.

His eyes had a vibe of sorrow and sympathy, something I hate for people to feel for me. I brought this onto myself.

I just need to be ok again. A way is what I need. A way to show him I am ok, even though my mental stability is slipping by the second.

I need a way..

My mind did the only thing it thought was best.

My mind made me do it.

My insane mind that has no idea what it is thinking or doing.

My mind that is falling into a deep cavern of pain and self hate.

My mind that is going to end up getting him or I killed.

Or maybe, it was my heart.

But I found the way...

My lips once again attached to his, this time, asking him for saftey and protection for as long as he can offer it as long as I did the same.

The only thing I am sure of anymore within my insanity is this.

I love Bubba Gumball, and this time, I will make sure he knows it.