Kiss Me, I'm Irish {An Artemis Fowl Fan Fiction}

Chapter 26: Uncertainty

Hello readers! :) I just thought I would post this before I headed into work this morning. :) I was... a little uncertain with this chapter, and admittedly, it was harder to write than I anticipated. Mostly because I actually had to go pull The Last Guardian off the shelf so I could double check some facts. I think I got most of them right... but considering everything, I could've forgotten something. Anyhow! I'm done with classes, and after Friday, I'll be done with work as well, so do expect more chapters. :) Sorry this chapter is kind of a cliffhanger. ;) Hope you all enjoy anyways!

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Artemis straightened his tie as he strode down the hallway towards Trouble Kelp's office. It was all he could do to make himself more presentable. Artemis' suit had been ruined; between sliding across the floor and Diana's blood on the sleeves there was no saving it. Normally, Artemis would've protested, but today, there were more important things to contend with. So despite the fact that Artemis really wanted a fresh outfit and a shower, he pressed onwards, knowing that Diana's memories rested in his hands.

The boy reached the office of the newest commander, and knocked a few times. He heard a voice from within call out, "Come in!" Artemis took a deep breath before ducking into the office of Trouble Kelp. It was now or never. The elf stared up at him from his desk, already ready to make an argument against Artemis, he was sure of it. The Irish boy took a seat in front of the desk, wondering what Trouble was going to say first.

"Well, well. So you think your friend deserves to keep her memories?" Trouble Kelp started, smoothing back his hair, after which he folded his hands, resting them on his desk.

"I do," Artemis admitted, mentally preparing himself for the war that was surely going to start over this topic. Trouble Kelp had not been known for his friendliness towards humans, especially not Artemis. Admittedly, Artemis missed the days of Commander Julius Root's firm hold of the force. At least with Root, Artemis had a chance.

"And why's that Mud Whelp? She's seen us, seen our dwellings, even been healed by us," Trouble went on. "You should consider yourself lucky I don't wipe your brain too."

Artemis rolled his eyes at the thought. "Haven't the LEP tried that already? And what became of it?" Artemis reminded. "Didn't I regain my memories, and didn't I become a vital role in saving you all from the clutches of Opal Koboi, not once, not twice, but three times afterwards?"

"If we would've mind wiped you when we were supposed to when you were twelve, we wouldn't have been in the situation with Koboi in the first place," Trouble attempted to counter.

Artemis raised an eyebrow. "And why are you so sure of that? Wasn't it Foaly she wanted revenge on in the beginning, not me? I don't believe I became part of her equations until the second time around." Trouble snorted in response, causing Artemis to continue. "Besides, Kelp, I don't believe I am the topic of discussion here, and we really should get back on track with our discussion."

"Indeed," Trouble added. "Nothing you say is going to make me change my mind, Fowl. Diana is going to have a mind wipe done. She would be a liability without one."

Artemis took a deep breath before speaking. "She's no more of a liability than I am, if not less. How likely is it that she'll go on and tell anyone she saw fairies? No one willingly admits that, because quite frankly most of the human population would just look at you and laugh. No one believes in fairies anymore, except those of us who have seen you with our own eyes, and the Irish in general."

"That's not the point, Fowl," Trouble continued. "It is LEP procedure to execute a mind wipe in situations such as these."

"Like what situation, Kelp?" Artemis questioned. "You're treating the girl like a criminal, like she exploited you like I did. Diana hasn't done anything to you. And she certainly didn't ask to be healed; Holly did that on her own."

"I've already explained to you that we don't have an option. She's seen too much," Trouble reiterated before standing and taking a few steps towards the door. "Now if you don't mind, I have to go inform Foaly that he should begin preparations."

Artemis surely couldn't have Trouble walk away now, and certainly not with that response. The boy was hoping he wasn't going to have to play his trump card, but he knew now he had no choice. "You owe me," he hissed.

Trouble Kelp stopped in his tracks, turning on his heel to face Artemis once again. "What do you mean, I owe you? I don't owe you anything Mud Boy."

"And that is where you are wrong," Artemis went on. "If it wasn't for me, you'd be being ruled by Opal Koboi right about now. Or dead. Depending on what mood she would be in. More than likely dead, though."

"Your repayment was Foaly creating you a new body," Trouble countered.

"Wrong again, Kelp," Artemis went on. "Foaly and Holly were the only ones who I had sort of let in on my plan. Foaly was the one who ultimately took the time to reconstruct my body, and I don't believe he ever received clearance from you to do so. What he did was out of the kindness of his own heart because he certainly didn't have to follow through with the plans. However, despite all I did, all I risked, I never even received a 'thank you' from the LEP." He paused for a moment before continuing. "Consider Diana's memories as your payment to me. The girl deserves to remember what happened to her, and I would certainly appreciate it as well."

Trouble said nothing for a few moments, and Artemis thought he might've just won the battle. That was until Trouble spoke again. "Well, I guarantee that if he had spoken to me about it, or I had gotten word of it, you wouldn't be speaking with me right now, and your friend would've never met you, so she wouldn't be facing this situation at all," the elf stated.

Artemis felt his heart sink. He had always known that Trouble Kelp hadn't liked him, but surely wasn't that a bit much? He frowned slightly, silently debating how he was going to get around Trouble Kelp's incessant need to mind-wipe. Artemis was almost about to give up, but he thought of one last plea. "What would you want in return for her memories?" he questioned.

"What about what you had left over from the ransom fund?" Trouble inquired.

Artemis shook his head. "I already returned that to Holly in my will. You would have to ask her what she did with it."

Trouble had a puzzling look on his face, as if he didn't know what to ask for now that he knew the fate of the gold once given to Artemis so many years ago. "Then I guess we have nothing to bargain with here, now do we? Besides, I think our debt to you was repaid when we helped you retrieve Diana from Spiro in the first place," he finally answered. He turned away from Artemis, and began walking out of the office.

Artemis was admittedly starting to get angry. It wasn't like he was asking for much. It had been a long time since he had requested anything from the LEP, excluding retrieving Diana, and even then he hadn't really requested them. Artemis jumped from his seat, and exited the office. He came to a stop in the middle of the hallway before calling out to Trouble.

"Alright Kelp. You want to wipe Diana's memories? Fine," he yelled. "But if you do, just know I'll have the memories retriggered within a short period of time. And then what is left for you? Wasted time and funding." He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself a bit. "Perhaps you should discuss your decision with Holly and Foaly before you make it finalized."

Trouble stopped in his tracks, not saying a word before continuing down the hallway. Artemis was left standing awkwardly by himself, not knowing what was coursing through the LEP Commander's mind. Was he still going to do the mind wipe? Or had Artemis changed his mind? As Artemis slowly made his way back towards Diana's room, he couldn't quite shake the feeling that he had failed his friend once again, and that in a few hours time, she wouldn't even remember who he was...