Kiss Me, I'm Irish {An Artemis Fowl Fan Fiction}

Chapter 5: Unfocused

Hello again. =) I just thought I would upload again. =) You guys have been wonderful so far into this story, and I appreciate all you guys have done so far! I've always said my fans and readers are the best a girl could ask for, and you are. =) Hope you enjoy this chapter! =D

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Artemis sat at his desk, twirling his pen in his hand as he tried to focus on the modifications he was to be making on one of his old experiments. It was all he could do to keep his mind off of the intriguing mall adventure he had experienced that afternoon. He couldn't believe he had actually admitted that he and Diana were friends. There was no way it could've happened; Artemis Fowl didn't have any friends, and that's how he intended to keep it. At least he thought he did...

The boy sighed, tossing his pen on the desk as he heard a knock on his room's door. He silently wondered who could've been knocking on his door; dinner had already been served hours ago, and for all intents and purposes, Artemis had decided to call it a night. "Come in?" he called out, though he really didn't want any company. He watched the door open, immediately spotting his bodyguard entering the room. Artemis turned and waited for Butler to take a seat on the edge of his bed before he spoke up. "Can I help you?"

"I could ask you the same thing," Butler retorted. Artemis could tell right away that Butler was not happy about something. "You've been spending a lot of time wandering the most dangerous city in this country alone. What is running through that head of yours?"

Artemis resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "I've hardly been alone, Butler."

"That's funny; you haven't permitted me to come along," Butler pointed out. "So humor me; how were you not alone?"

Artemis crossed his left leg over his right, resting his hands casually in his lap. "I believe it is quite possible that I may have made a new friend, Butler. We've been spending time together."

Had Butler been drinking something, he would've spit it out. Had he just heard Artemis say the word "friend?" Butler blinked away his confusion before he inquired, "A friend, Artemis? What's his name?"

Artemis chuckled lightly. "Always jumping to conclusions, Butler," he sighed. He shook his head before answering, "Her name is Diana; I met her at the museum."

Butler took a deep breath, taking in what he had just been told. "So you mean to tell me that the reason you've been so elusive is because you met a girl?"

This time Artemis couldn't resist; he let his eyes roll freely. "Most certainly not. She is intelligent conversation, and not like most girls I've had the misfortune of interacting with in my lifetime."

Butler didn't respond for a few moments. "I'm honestly surprised at you, Artemis. When I picked you up from school, you wanted nothing to do with friends. But now all of a sudden you have a friend. A girl friend at that."

"She's not my girlfriend, Butler," Artemis hissed. "She has a boyfriend; one, whom I've gathered, is an imbecile."

"I didn't mean it like that," Butler stated, correcting the way he had said it. "She is your friend, and she is a girl." He let that sink in for a moment before continued. "It's kind of ironic that her name is Diana."

Artemis laughed dryly. He didn't find much humor in that. "Oh Butler, I must teach you the proper definition of irony. Just because our names essentially represent the same goddess, it doesn't make it ironic."

An awkward silence overcame them for a moment before Butler spoke again. "Have you told your parents about her? They've been curious about what you've been up to the past few days."

"Of course not," Artemis spat. "Any talk of girls gets them babbling on about reproduction and marriage, neither of which are in the cards right now."

Butler smacked his forehead out of frustration. "Not what I meant. And your parents are not that worried about grandchildren right now. They have Myles and Beckett to keep them entertained."

Artemis sighed, resting his head in his right hand. "It's beyond that Butler. They're over-protective of me now. If I even let it slip I have a friend, they're going to want background checks, medical records..." Artemis caught himself rambling. "The point being is that I'm not even sure if I can consider her a friend yet, Butler. We've known each other for two days; yes we get along splendidly, and we have some similar interests, but I'm honestly not sure what's going on. Something is different about her, Butler; I just don't know what."

Butler smirked. He had a pretty good idea about what was occurring to his principal, but he surely wasn't going to ruin the process for him. If Butler didn't know any better, he would swear that Artemis was developing a little crush on his friend Diana. Admittedly, Butler had been dying for the day that Artemis found an interest in girls; perhaps this was finally it. Butler shook the thought from his mind; it was too much to hope for. Unfortunately, Artemis wasn't like most boys his age. It would take a lot more than a pretty face to snag his attention.

Artemis stood, crossing the room to the window. "I don't want to stress mother out with false promises of friendship, and more importantly companionship." He glanced over his shoulder at Butler. "So please. Let's keep this little talk between us, shall we?" When Butler nodded, Artemis concluded, "Good."

Butler bit his tongue as he searched for another topic of discussion. He noticed a small blue cube sitting off to the side on the desk. "Working on the C Cube again, I see?" he brought up.

"Ah yes," Artemis replied, moving swiftly back to his desk. He plucked the cube up, cradling it in one hand, pushing his lengthy hair out of his eyes with the other. "I'm trying to work out some of the bugs before I put a patent on it and place it on the market."

"No Spiro this time, right?" Butler inquired, remembering what happened last time Artemis had tried to do business involving the C Cube.

Artemis smirked. "He's still imprisoned, so I certainly don't have to worry about his interference. Once I removed the LEP trackers, and assure it won't pick up their technology as well, it will be ready to go. Hopefully this time, the world is more prepared to take on such an amazing device. I mean... seriously. What doesn't the C Cube do?"

Butler had a feeling that Artemis' plan to release the C Cube without a hitch was not going to go as well as Artemis had hoped. Artemis' plans were always crazy, and often people got hurt or killed. Butler was sure that this was bound to happen again, only he didn't know when or how. Somehow this plan was going to backfire; Butler was going to mentally prepare himself for it now.

"This project is going to put the Fowl name back on the map," Artemis went on. "No one with the Fowl name will have to worry about money ever again."

Butler frowned slightly at the thought. This was definitely the old Artemis talking. Money and fortune were all he sought. "Terrific Artemis," he sighed.

Artemis went to reply, but his phone went off, interrupting his thoughts. He looked at the buzzing, electronic device for a moment before looking back to Butler. "If you would excuse me, this phone call is personal," he suggested to his manservant. Butler took the hint, leaving his employer's room without another word. Once Butler shut the door, Artemis answered his cell phone. "Hello?"