2015.07.16
23:44
After this spring I made for myself, I thought I could have monster for the summer too and I actually had it.
But...today, when I couldn't be online, monster showed me that it didn't need me. I was just a simple friend that it had and could talk to anytime it wanted. Why I say that? Because it didn't text me, didn't call me, didn't even get worried about me and where I've been and who I've been with today.
Monster's getting cold again... This is the end of my SPRING.
and I'm really ashamed of myself for doing anything to just have monster for an hour. I lied to people, I hurt them, I fought with them, I used them, I left them... For a monster. A cold hearted person. A liar. A prideful person who always wants to be the best in anything and it doesn't care about anybody else, but only itself.
Dear monster,
I cannot still stop loving you even after knowing that you don't really care about me.
I changed myself in hope of being seen by you, but it didn't help.
Monster, I love you so much it hurts... So please, don't try to hurt me more...
~Secret Admirer
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