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2015.08.17

22:24

What actually really hurts me, is being the one who's always jealous. Nobody knows how much it hurts 'cause in this world nobody really cares about another person.
But what hurts the most is the way that people always try to make me even more jealous when they see I'm being that way.
I'm still thinking about it, about why I'm this jealous about people who don't really care about me and mostly they don't even know me!
But my problem is being cruel or acting that way is not my job, I can't be the same and keep ignoring people and acting like they're not special to me at all. So I keep doing stupid things like doing things they don't like or things they don't expect me to do. And that's when they think I hate them and I'm ignoring them and they're not important top me.
Another reason to be confusing for people and even myself.
But the only thing I want is,

Dear Monster,
I know you think it's impossible not talking about your friends in front of me, but I'm begging you, please, pretty please, don't do this to me, don't try to make me jealous.

~Secret Admirer

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