2015.11.19
18:46
"When I saw you walking in the room my heart started-", duh, don't expect me to start this shit with this stupid sentence!
Nobody told me you were going to be there too, so don't expect me to thank you or be so freaking happy like, OMG I finally saw Monster, blah! This will never happen, because you, Monster, taught me how to be you, proud and unthankful.
So yeah, I was a Monster too, but I'm upgrading myself!
But I still have a problem with myself... I still cry a lot and I can't stop myself. And this doesn't mean I'm still a kid; it actually means I'm growing up, and at the same time, I'm breaking down. Breaking down from the changes, from seeing other people's happiness and after trying so hard to be happy for a second, getting no happiness and failing like it's been written somewhere!
But I can stop breaking down, only by a little help from someone. But there's no one.
But it's OK, having no one to be beside me, but the thing that hurts me is that people are against me, it's like I've done something bad to them, and they're trying to make me pay for it. They just make me break down even more.
But this doesn't matter that much at all! The thing that actually hurts me is the way I'm like an animal to people, or even worse. I'm a toy, a target for people to be teased. Sometimes I wish I was nothing...
Why I'm saying these...? Monster knows why.
~Secret Admirer
YOU ARE READING
Secret Admirer Diaries
Randoma secret crush that hurts me so bad... being a secret admirer, loving someone who I can never have... having to hide my feelings for that person... thinking that maybe that person would love me too... thinking that I have a chance to have that perso...
