Gabriel

12. Back to School

Sorry for the long wait. Had a bad case of writers block. Hope you enjoy.

^^^Picture of school above ^^^

Read on lovelies!

~~~

  I woke up to the trill of an alarm, the first I had heard in a while. I groaned and rubbed my eyes, pressing the off button.

Dearest Monday,
Shove a gun up your a$$ and pull the trigger because I'm having none of this early rising shiz. I finally opened my eyes to stare blankly up at the wall.

Too many violent thoughts.

     It had been four days since the confession and Gabriel was treading around me like I was made of glass. I know he isn't mad, I just think he doesn't know how to act.

     I wouldn't either if I were him.
But bringing back those memories has also brought back other unwanted thoughts. Hurting myself seems more and more appealing lately. But I'm trying, I really am. If not for myself, then for him. He seems so hurt, and I can't help but feel even worse. I never mean to cause anyone else pain. It was just easier for myself.

      So, while mulling over those thoughts I pick myself up out of the soft, plush bed and rub my eyes furiously to wake up.  I groan and stretch the sleep out of my muscles, walking over to my closet. I open the door and find a white and flower patterned loose hanging dress. It should do for the first day at a new school. I walk with it to the shower and strip down from my pjs to hop in. The warm water feels amazing as it cascades down my shivering body.

Then I turn around and Gabriel is there. I don't shriek or jump back in surprise. I just stand there with him as he smiles and pets my hair affectionately. But what is he doing in my shower? I don't dare look down, assuming he's not wearing any clothes as well. He grins dreamily and I reciprocate. His hand moves from my hair down to my cheek. I lean in to the wondrous feeling of a million sparks passing over the skin he touches, like fire. My eyes droop closed pleasurably. I snap them open, the moment I feel his hand gone. And so is he. I wildly turn my head around looking for him, but it's just me in the shower with only my own breathing and the sound of hot water beating against my body.

     I sigh in relief. Not that I wouldn't love to have a smutty episode in the shower with my hunk, but I just don't think I'm ready for something like that. I still dislike myself too much and I know I've got fat rolls and chubby thighs and a stuck out chin and messy, frizzy hair and...

I could go on and on, but that wouldn't do any good. I don't know why that vidid imaging felt like he was actually there. I hope I'm not going crazy. That would just be the cherry on top of this shït cake I've been given called life. I discard the event into the back shelf of all my other Gabriel-related complications along with the dreams, his occasional slip-ups of the word "mat-" and showing up on my old school's roof. I have a plan, though. I have been very preoccupied lately but I'm definitely not an air-headed or dense. Things just aren't adding up and I'm going to find out why.

Just as soon as I get through this first day of school.

***

Since Gabriel had left for work bright and early this morning, I was left on my own to make breakfast and rush down to the awaiting car that would take me to school. Although, he did leave me a nice note about how he wished me luck for my first day yada, yada, yada. It was starting to frustrate me how he wouldn't even talk about the kiss. I wanted to confront him, but either he was nowhere to be found or he was too intimidating to approach. I don't think he meant to be intimidating, but it was just natural for a 6'3" or 6'4" wide-build guy with a sexy but harsh jaw line and large- off track, Maeve!